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Just Said Yes April 2020

I’m all over the place

Jessica, on September 22, 2019 at 1:24 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 16

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This will be the second marriage for each of us. We have 8 kids together and he has full custody of his. Our kids are 16, 15, 13, 13, 11, 9, 7, 7. I’m 35 and he’s 42. I feel that we should skip out on a bridal party, bouquet toss, garter toss, etc. it’s an intimate ceremony with only close friends and family. We will have a ceremony and reception at the same Hotel venue. Ceremony with a cocktail hour before the reception where we are feeding everyone that attends, and of course dancing and socializing to finalize the evening. Is this acceptable and or normal to do? Sorry for the long post.

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16 Comments

Latest activity by Olivia, on September 23, 2019 at 12:19 PM

VIP November 2019
Laura · on September 22, 2019 at 1:27 PM
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It’s your wedding. Whatever you find reasonable-up to a point-is ok. What you’re describing sounds like a typical wedding to me. What specifically are you concerned about?
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on September 22, 2019 at 1:28 PM
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This all sounds pretty normal.
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Just Said Yes April 2020
Jessica · on September 22, 2019 at 1:47 PM
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I feel like he may want all of the traditional things. I just want to make sure this is all normal before discussing it with him.
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VIP November 2019
Laura · on September 22, 2019 at 1:59 PM
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Many weddings today have no wedding party, and many also skip the tosses. That’s minor stuff in the grand scheme of a wedding.
FWIW, we aren’t doing the tosses, speeches or dances. And I don’t care what anyone has to say about it.
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Master 0000
Judith · on September 22, 2019 at 2:30 PM
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None of what you mentioned skipping is necessary, and lots of people have no WP, no shower or bachelor's parties, and no bouquet tosses or garter stuff. Some no dancing, many no spotlight dances. All okay to skip. You have a big focus on family, not first leaving parents home or lots of single person before family type pursuits. Do what you wish, and enjoy yourselves!
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Dedicated June 2020
Tina · on September 22, 2019 at 2:45 PM
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It is your wedding, do it however you want. Include what you want, exclude what you don’t. Whatever you decide it’s for you two. Also, if you have the children involved perhaps some type of family joining in the ceremony if you want.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on September 22, 2019 at 3:22 PM
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That sounds fine to me!
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Devoted June 2021
Liz · on September 22, 2019 at 5:57 PM
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2nd wedding for me , first for fh. We are skipping all the traditional, bouquet toss, garter, etc. we’re too old for that stuff...haha
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VIP August 2013
MAMW · on September 22, 2019 at 8:16 PM
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I say skip or don't skip whatever you both want! When my mom got remarried, she had a MOH and my (step) dad had a Best Man and then the kids made up the rest of the "bridal party". A lot of people are skipping out on the bouquet and garter toss now (at least in my circle) so I don't even think anyone would notice or miss them.
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Dedicated April 2017
Disneychick · on September 22, 2019 at 8:26 PM
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I think it sounds perfect. Ours was very similar. We had our kids as the bridal party and I wouldn't have changed a thing.
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Expert August 2019
Marissa · on September 22, 2019 at 8:29 PM
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A lot of weddings don’t have the bouquet or garter toss, we didn’t and I have attended a bunch of other weddings that didn’t have them either. I think it’s actually a surprise to me when I do see them at a wedding.
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Dedicated January 2020
Barbara · on September 22, 2019 at 9:54 PM
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This is my 2nd marriage and we are doing the same thing as you. It's about what the two of you want.
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Beginner April 2020
Tiera · on September 22, 2019 at 10:04 PM
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Anything that makes you happy is acceptable!
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Super May 2020
Andrea · on September 22, 2019 at 10:08 PM
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It’s your day, you should only include what you want. If you don’t want a bouquet toss or any stereotypical wedding event, skip it. We won’t be doing a bouquet or garter toss, we also won’t be doing parent dances. It doesn’t matter what other people want or expect to see. It’s 100% up to you and your fiancé 💗💗 it could be cool if all your kids were in the bridal party instead or something like that, or a family unity ceremony, lots of options and ways to make it yours!
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Devoted February 2021
Ania · on September 22, 2019 at 10:13 PM
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For me that sounds like a normal wedding, like other ladies said many don't do the garter toss or have bridesmaids. We are not doing speeches either because not many people like to talk in front of other people, so that will be less stressful for them. It is your wedding and you do what you like the best
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VIP October 2019
Ivy ORP · on September 23, 2019 at 10:26 AM
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Skipping wedding parties and tosses are pretty common now. I say just focus on your family and celebrating your marriage the way you want.
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