I'm a bridesmaid for a bride i no longer want to be friends with

Trust me, her wedding won't be ruined just because you step down from being a bridesmaid...and it's ridiculous for that friend to put that much pressure on you and expect you to stay in the bridal party when you're not happy!

I'd have another talk with your friend and just be honest. Let her know that you feel like things haven't changed, and you feel it would be best for you both if you just step down from your title. I mean...do you really want to pretend that everything's all sunshine and roses, and that you're besties with this person when you clearly aren't?? That sounds exhausting to have to keep up with. Although it's her wedding, your feelings and mental/emotional welfare GREATLY outweigh that.

Tell her now. If the friendship is over, the last thing she needs is tons of wedding photos with you in them as a painful reminder. Sparing yourself the emotional investment would be healthiest as well.

You won't ruin her wedding. Leave now and don't look back.

Tell her now. She sounds horribly toxic and maintaining that friendship isn’t healthy for your own well-being. In no way will her wedding be ruined. The sooner you tell her the better- now she will have 6 months to get over it, replace you with another bridesmaid if she wants to, etc. And, as others have mentioned, she won’t want you in pictures of the wedding, shower, bachelorette, etc. if you are going to end the friendship.

I would tell her now rather than waiting. It sounds like it isn't a healthy friendship and you've tried talking to her about it, but nothing has changed. As for ruining her wedding, I think it would be worse if you were to be in the wedding then end your friendship because she will have likely spent a good amount of money on photos that include you in them that will only remind her that you're no longer friends.

I would step down now. Things likely won't get better before the wedding, and it won't ruin her wedding by any means. If you don't plan to continue the friendship after the wedding, why be in her wedding photos? I would have a conversation with her to let her know that the friendship doesn't seem to be improving, and you think it's for the best interest of both of you that you step down. You don't deserve to be treated the way she's been towards you.

Thank you so much everybody. This helps a lot. I'll end the friendship as soon as possible so she has time to find a replacement. And yes, I was also concerned about being in a bunch of her wedding photos but my friend was adamant that it didn't matter and she would get over it. And I agree, the friendship has been toxic for a long time, I lived with her and I was scared to leave my room since I often got insulted or hurt when talking to her. For example, she called me rude when I offered to be a few minutes late to a call with another friend in order to help her finish making dinner. It just feels like everything I do and say is met with disproval

If you feel like the friendship has faded, then definitely back out immediately. There is no excuse to treat anyone poorly so don’t feel bad about walking away.

View Quoted Comment THIS
Tell her now. Staying in the wedding would make it so much worse and "ruin" the photos and memories of her wedding

View Quoted Comment Yes, leave now. You don't deserve to be treated that way and I am so sorry you have been in the past. If you are worrying about your ex-friend, the bride,... don't. She has had plenty of time to change her behavior and has 6 whole months to wrap her head around the fact her actions have repercussions before the wedding. More than enough time to ask another person to be a bridesmaid, if she thinks she needs one.

Just end the relationship now. She will be a lot happier that you ended the relationship now, versus after and then have to look at her wedding pictures constantly and be reminded of the friendship that fell through.

I don't know where your friend is coming from, telling you that you'll ruin the wedding by backing out now. Six months is a long time. I'd send the bride an email and back out. Doing it over the phone, given her past behavior, will likely end in her doing her best to make you feel like crap.

Thank you all for your help with this. I plan to tell her on Friday so she has time to work through it over the weekend. Yes, I think an email is better than a phonecall for this situation, I already have an email drafted. I hope that this will be a wake-up call regarding how she treats others as I am not the only one she has treated poorly.

Tell her now. I think the last thing you both would want us to have memories of a nice fun day but know that you guys have all these underlying issues. I know I wouldn’t wanna look back on pictures and have people in them who pretty much didn’t want to be. Honesty will be much better than having to deal with all these feelings for the next 6 months or longer.