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Just Said Yes October 2021

Idk how to Make myself excited for the wedding

Nikki285, on January 17, 2021 at 7:31 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 13
Hi everyone, I hope everyone is well during this time Smiley smile. I’m looking for some tips to get past my feelings. Basically I feel forgotten about with my engagement. The day I got engaged my fiancé was going through some anxiety issues that we thought were gastro related for about a month and a half prior. He was throwing up nearly every day so I really wasn’t expecting him to propose. (Pre-covid) He had both our immediate families there and had a photographer which was amazing and I was so happy. When we got back to our apt he ran into the bathroom and our families pretty much just looked at me for something to do and decided to leave after 2 mins. I guess I was expecting some balloons or a cake when we got back. And I guess it’s a lot to ask. I was so excited so I posted to social media and got a lot of great congrats but I guess it’s just not the same as having your friends and family with you, let alone having your Fiance healthy and sharing the moment. My extended family ended up getting pissed that they weren’t invited when I told them not even our friends were there and I had no idea but they decided to hold a grudge. I was just alone in my apt with my excitement and didn’t know what else to do. Basically I’m asking what should I do to feel celebrated? We haven’t picked a date because of other things and people getting in the way that it just hasn’t made me excited to plan. We’re now coming on a year of our engagement and I feel so bad idk what to say to my fiancé or something to help make myself happy. Please help :/ sorry this was so long.

13 Comments

Latest activity by Lucy, on August 28, 2021 at 1:25 PM
  • Katie
    VIP August 2020
    Katie ·
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    Hi Nikki! I feel you and if it makes you feel any better during my proposal I had a terrible case of bronchitis!! I learned the hard way, nothing is perfect and that is true for everyone! Once you set a date and plans are underway, excitement will come! Keep in mind, only you can control your happiness ❤️ Wishing you the best and Congratulations on being engaged 🌿🌼❤️
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  • N
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Nikki285 ·
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    Hi Katie! Oh no I’m so sorry about bronchitis but congrats on your engagement as well! I know you’re so right. I guess I’m just in a rut and need to pull myself out. Thank you for the kind words it means the world to me 💕
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  • Merissa
    Beginner February 2022
    Merissa ·
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    I'm sorry you feel this way! My engagement was not a surprise or unexpected. I asked for a ring for Christmas not knowing he had bought one months ago. Well about three weeks before he proposed he got a card addressed to him in the mail from the jewelry store! So I knew it was officially coming, and the night he did he left the ring on our entertainment center right before he proposed! So I didn't get that surprise factor. Nothing ever goes as planned, I would definitely sit down with your fiancé and tell them how you're feeling! Don't worry about the extended family! We are in a fight with his brother and sister in law (have been for months now), they never offered me congratulations but they just got engaged last night, barely a month after us. I say just dive into the planning and try to get into it! Look at wedding videos and photos of other couples to figure out what you want! Maybe that will spark some excitement in you!

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  • Elizabeth
    Dedicated September 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    I'm so sorry you feel this way! I also felt forgotten when I first got engaged. I've noticed that people get more excited once you set a date and start planning. It can be really difficult to plan when you're not excited, so ask your fiancé to do some planning with you or choose someone like a sibling or parent that can help you plan if you want. I've seen other people also get bride subscription boxes to help them get excited, so maybe you could try that? Good luck!

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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    It's definitely smart to try to figure out how to make yourself happy since it's not realistic to rely on anyone else for that. So, I am totally behind you asking for ways you and your fiancé can feel celebrated.

    For wedding planning, start by having a good conversation about how you each envision the wedding. Pick a few things you each feel are really important, and then make sure your budget can accommodate those things. That will help you narrow down venues, which is how you will be able to set a date.

    As for the two of you celebrating your engagement, I would brainstorm things to do that feel especially fun and celebratory and are possible to do right now during COVID. That way you can start the celebrations without getting disappointed about all the things that aren't currently possible. Good luck, I know you can do this!

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  • N
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Nikki285 ·
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    Thank you Merissa! I really like that idea of looking at inspiration, maybe it’ll get me going Smiley smile thank you so much and I’m sorry your sister and brother in law have been so rude - congrats on your engagement!!
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  • N
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Nikki285 ·
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    Hi Elizabeth! Omg I really love that idea of a bride subscription box, any favorites you know of? And yes I can definitely depend on my sister so I’ll reach out to her, I guess I just felt like a bother before. Thank you so much and I’m sorry you felt the same. I hope you are feeling better!
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  • N
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Nikki285 ·
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    Hi Maggie! Thank you for the support, I’ve learned a long time ago no one can make you happy but yourself, which is a great thing to learn. And you’re right, I was brainstorming last night and do you think maybe a zoom party on the date of our year anniversary of the engagement? Do you think that’s tacky that I’m throwing it myself? I guess I can ask my sister to cover my tracks lol
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    It's typically considered rude to throw oneself a party where guests are expected to spend money (e.g., bridal showers and bachelorette parties). But since no one would be spending money to travel, buy gifts, or pay for activities at a Zoom party, I think organizing it yourself is fine.

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  • Elizabeth
    Dedicated September 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    I haven't tried a subscription box myself, but I included a link to a different forum post about them. I wanted to make sure I only got things I would use, so I went on a "shopping spree" at TJ Maxx and found "bride" and "mrs." items that I like.

    Now that I've been planning more and it's getting closer to our wedding date, I'm much more excited! Hope this helps!

    https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/subscription-boxes/df84e90f7cc21b51.html

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  • Mattie
    Just Said Yes August 2021
    Mattie ·
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    Hi Nikki!

    I've tried the MissToMrs Box subscription, and the items from my first box made my wedding planning so much exciting! It was especially awesome, as I had a positive COVID-19 test and stayed self-isolated. For me, it was a perfect reminder that I'll become a bride soon!

    My new jewelry wipes make my ring sparkling, and I'm wearing my necklace every day!

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Traditionally, with long engagements usually 2 years or more, even if they had an engagement party when first engaged 3-4 years ago, or simply no party, they may have a second or original party at close to a year down to 9 months before the wedding itself. People engaged who are waiting to get out or the service, or school, or their first job, will often move in this time, and have no Idea of who they will have on their guest list. So they have an announcement party, with anyone they want there. Of course 2,3,5 years later, they may have left school, job or work friends behind. Moved, or moved on. So many people were never at their party. ... Once they decide to start serious wedding planning, make a guest list , with a tentative venue and month, and usually before choosing ( or at least announcing) their attendants, they have a kick off the wedding planning type engagement
    party. Only the people invited to the wedding may be included. As large or as small as they want. Usually a family hosts it, or friends. Older couples long on their own may give their own. ...
    You never did the announcement thing, and are now just feeling like something is needed to psych you and everyone else up for this change. Many people think, If I did not do it when first engaged, it is to late. Not so. There is a many generations tradition of waiting til the guest list is mostly known, at least the most important ones you want at a party. And as there is nothing BM and GM need to do before 6 months out, asking privately but only publicly announcing any at 8-12 months is another step that may change your feeling.
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  • Lucy
    Just Said Yes February 2022
    Lucy ·
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    My Mom supported me in this difficult engagement journey and gifted me with Miss To Mrs 6 months subscription.

    All the products in my first Miss To Mrs Box were so cute! I wore my new amazing T-shirt right away! I found the wedding planner tools extremely helpful, and can’t wait to see what will come in my second box!

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