Ideas???

So I have a few comments and none of them are meant to be mean in any way. 1. The entire point of a wedding is to witness and celebrate a couple getting married so only inviting some people but not others I feel is extremely rude. Guests will want to witness your union. 2. You can't very well invite his aunts and uncles and not expect yours to feel excluded and very hurt. If he wants his there then I would say you need to invite yours as well. Unless you want to cause even more hurt feelings and drama. 3. In a previous post you mentioned that you already sent save the dates so how would you explain this sudden change? Because not only would you now be excluding people from the ceremony, but you'd also be changing the times of the event. 4. The gap in between sounds like a logistical mess. What would the guests that attend the ceremony do in between because they will all already be dressed up? They aren't going to want to go find something else to do while all dressed up nor are they going to want to change just to get dressed up again. Also what would you do during this time? You will presumably be in hair, makeup and a wedding dress so unless you plan on changing then redoing your hair and makeup and putting your wedding dress back on I don't know how'd execute this plan. 5. Unfortunately it sounds like you are spiraling in so many different directions with this wedding. Initially it sounds like you only wanted 10 people in attendance then it somehow became around 100 and that offended people because you excluded their significant others. At this point you've already sent save the dates so the time to change guest lists has really passed. It honestly sounds like you need to take a step back from wedding planning even if it's just for a few days.

Yes, it’s rude. You should not pick and choose who is invited to events. Everyone should be treated equally as guests. If I was invited to a reception and not ceremony which is the main point of a wedding, I Would decline. It’s a major faux pas.

I have to agree with both pps on all accounts. I also think brunch past 2pm is a bit odd.

Yes, I think making some guests "more important" than others by inviting them to the ceremony will come off as rude to the ones that weren't. 2 pm-7 pm falls over dinner time. To be honest, it's a strange time to have a reception in terms of hosting.

I think you may be reinventing the wheel on party planning too much. It may be good to remember the intent of a wedding. A ceremony is for you and your partner to take vows. For this, you need 2 partners, vows and declaration, an officiant (most states), 2 witnesses, and a legal certificate. Others whom you invite are honored guests who actually want to witness you both take vows. The reception, which should always have refreshments, is to thank them for coming and supporting you.

Now too many people in your circle may be focused too much on the reception as a party. One option is to simplify. Have a cake and punch reception. Ask your ceremony venue if they allow outside food as in light refreshments, cake and non-alcoholic punch for guests. The time frame is done immediately after the ceremony, not long in duration, and not done during a regular mealtime. You will have to send cancellation cards if you already sent Save the Dates with the old location and time stamped. You can still invite all the couples to the ceremony, and remove the pressure of some persons who want to use you to have a fancy dinner (this happens to many couples btw). You have the opportunity to set the tone of how gatherings take place in your family, and not bow down to pressure. Whatever they were doing in the past by not inviting partners was against etiquette and offensive. Case in point, your partner is just meeting them for the first time. Don't bend to them. Find support in your partner. Best wishes, Bride.

Not rude at all. We went to a wedding like this last year where the church was very small and they had a long full Catholic mass. They only had close family and their wedding parties there. Everyone else showed up to the reception and no one had any complaints they didnt have to sit through an hour and half ceremony. I do think, however, it would be rude to exclude some levels of family on your side but not on his side. I think you need to figure out a cut-off and keep it standard through both families.

Despite what other people say, a lot of young people really dont care too much about witnessing their friends going through the legal portion, we care far more about the party and celebrating our friends!

If you want brunch food, have brunch food! Who really cares what time it is.

I'm going to agree on Elycia on this one. It's not rude to have a small ceremony and then a big party. Lots of people elope and then have a party when they get home. I don't think that guests "deserve" to see the actual ceremony.

The uncle issue is a little dicier if you have uncles or aunts who would feel left out.

As for brunch food -- you do you! Is is a little odd? Sure. Is it somehow rude? Absolutely not. French toast and wedding cake? Sign me up.

View Quoted Comment There's a difference between eloping (just couple, officiant, witness) with a bigger reception later versus having a ceremony where select people are invited but then anyone is invited to reception. I think it's cause for a lot of hurt feelings. I personally prefer witnessing the actual wedding over the reception.

Although some situations might be acceptable where people are not invited to the ceremony, most of the time the ceremony is the main event. That is the life-changing moment. The reception is the celebration of that marriage. The main thing at that point is the chance to see the new bride and groom. The food, music and activities help the time to meet with everyone and to be happy along with others for the marriage. It can be very basic and low key or extravagant but should not cause people to go broke.