Ideas on how to cut down on a guest list

A few ideas:

Immediate family only. Or, only family you have actually seen in the past 5 years (or 10 years, depending on what number you are trying to manage to).

Friends - only those you have actually seen in the past 5 years (or 10 years).

Some people will exclude children - that is a personal choice and is usually an all or nothing deal, and can definitely have ramifications.

Focus on local guests only, and offer a Zoom/Virtual option for out of town guests.

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This is with our immidate family his grandma is one out of 13 and he has a huge family he talks to almost weekly at least. i'd love to elope to vegas but he wants the big family wedding

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Immediate family = parents, grandparents, siblings, children. Possibly aunts & uncles and cousins. But immediate family is not great-aunts, third cousins, etc. Although, if he wants a big family wedding, it doesn't sound like that's a viable option, anyway.

Cut extended family (great aunts and uncles and their children are not immediate family,) no children, and no friends that you haven't seen in the last year.

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I know I just hate a lot of people I will figure it out thank you for the suggestions I really appreciate it, I have 8 kids so with just us it's 10

So I have a VERY big Italian family, my grandpa is one of 15 but we cut our guest list down a lot. We didn’t invite family that we don’t talk to with a few exceptions, I don’t feel like every great aunt and 5th cousin I don’t even know needs to be invited, same for his family, since we are getting married at a winery we choose to not allow children per their rules, if we haven’t spoken to a friend in over 6 months to a year, we cut those people too. Co workers that you wouldn’t speak to outside of work, we cut them. Some people might be offended but it’s our day and I want only people who love & support us every other day of the year to be there. Good luck!

FH and I have 4 kids between us and the 2 adult children have a SO and one has 2 kiddos - so in the same boat where just us and our children and grands = 10.

We are having only our parents, siblings with their spouses/SOs and kids, our 1 best friend and their SO each, and only the aunt/uncle/cousins we actually spend regular time with and/or grew up with (thick as thieves, you know...). That got our total headcount, with including our officiant, DJ and photographer for the meal, down to 59 people.

If your other half wants the big wedding, though, he may have to make some tough choices...especially if your area's restrictions get raised.

Our wedding is in the middle of winter in Ohio, and on the other side of the state from where we all live, so that made it even more necessary to keep the guest list small, and also made it appropriate to have a really big party/cook out style celebration with everyone we know about 6 months after the ceremony might be an idea for you, too?

Make a list of people you absolutely cannot imagine spending the day without them in attendance. Obviously that list will be different for everyone so there is no set in stone method of how to cut people. People that someone else suggests cutting from the list might be very important to you and vice versa.


Who are you inviting out of obligation to please other people? Cut those first.
Will anyone cause unnecessary drama if they show up? Cut them.
Will they make your day more fun? Keep them on the list.

You’re in luck! Due to the pandemic I think you can easily trim your guest list down without feeling guilty! Don’t worry about hurt feelings. You can still have your ceremony & maybe stream it on Zoom? Or get a videographer & share the highlights with the guests who couldn’t be there or the ones that didn’t make the final list. (Sorry! That sounds mean but I don’t mean it that way.) My Fiance is SUPER concerned about this pandemic & neither of us have been very excited about our August 23rd wedding. Guess what?!? YOU’RE in control of what your big day will be! If y’all aren’t comfortable with having that many guests or just want a smaller group, that’s ok! Again, it’s YOUR day & no one else should stand in the way. I hope this helps a little. Best wishes to y’all!!

I think this is a nice graphic that might help. We might use this to trim down the list before we send out save the dates.