i was not included in my boyfriend's wedding invitation

Do you live with your boyfriend or does he live with his parents?

View Quoted Comment He lives with his family and his parents are also invited to the wedding

It's hard to say. Maybe it was deliberate, maybe it wasn't - you ARE invited, so I think I would just brush it off and if/when you get engaged... just put the best man's name on their invite? Lol obviously don't do that, it's petty and will not help this situation at all, but enjoy dreaming about doing it and then let it go, would be my advice!

I think it’s strange that they didn’t provide the best man a separate invitation even if he does live with his family, but that’s the choice they made. Since they confirmed you were invited, it sounds like they included you in the “Smith Family” head count, which doesn’t sound rude. It may sound harsh but, personally, I wouldn’t invite anyone who is not “a fan” of my relationship & I wouldn’t expect to be invited to a wedding where I actively disapproved of the relationship. I don’t think offense is warranted either way. Just one perspective though. Hopefully, you’ll have some time to get to know them better between now and the wedding.

Do all of the other couples have the same living arrangements that you and your boyfriend have? Even though it might not be "proper" I know a ton of couples who just include everyone in a household on one invitation to save money. Ignoring the fact that they should've sent him his own invitation, if they're including you in the head count of "The Smith Family" then there's really not an issue here. I'd see if they had written out everyone's names on the invitation, but I don't think they needed to put "The Smith Family + Jane Doe" on the envelope. As Christy said, I wouldn't even expect to be invited to a couple's wedding when I don't like the couple, so the fact that they're inviting you seems good enough to me.

I would say it's a small thing to get worked up about. They've said you're invited, so go have a good time.

You were included though. It doesn’t sound like anyone was listed by name and they said you’re invited when he asked. Were the other couples’ invitations addressed to whole families or just to the couple?

“Rules” and guidelines of living with your boyfriend, having an engagement ring (no ring no bring) or being married only before you can be added to the invitation is archaic and is deliberately excluding you. That is highly offensive especially since they are aware of your relationship with their best man of all people. If you truly were invited they would have listed you by name, and his parents would have been invited separately and his invitation would have your name It is not her or anyone’s place to ask guests to celebrate their relationship while judging other people’s as invalid or insignificant. It’s deliberate that they made no attempt to reach out to you and let you know that you are welcome to attend, if other guests in attendance were listed by name. You can attend or not and enjoy yourself without running into her, but I would distance myself after the wedding, especially if this is her normal behavior.

I think this is one of those things where choosing how you feel and react will serve you better than contemplating being offended. It’s not considerate, no, but I promise it’s not worth wasting time on.
My husband’s cousin sent one invite to my husband’s parents, put “our last name family” on the save the date and didn’t write any of our names or indicate my SIL getting a plus one even though they clarified it covered all of us when we saw them a month later. My husband hasn’t lived with his parents for 14 years, I’ve been in the picture for 7. I rolled my eyes and moved on and recommend you do the same!

That’s the point of etiquette. People do get offended at this type of thing.


Your boyfriend should have received his own invitation with your name on it. That’s the correct etiquette.
I would brush it off and attend anyway. You are invited, if you hadn’t that’s a much bigger breach of etiquette.

They've confirmed you are invited. Don't going looking for offense where there likely isn't any intended.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. Honestly it’s so hard to follow all the etiquette rules with names on invites and it’s also expensive sometimes to send invites. They might have been trying to save money and not send two separate invites and do all the naming. I wouldn’t worry, go and have fun!

View Quoted Comment Agreed with this. It’s a petty thing to get your feathers ruffled over.

Honestly, I followed etiquette with save the dates and sent one to each adult child even if they're still living in the parent's house and the parent is also invited and one house got four save the dates which is so stupid. It was a waste of money in my opinion.

So I agree with PP that if they've confirmed you're invited, then don't let it affect you.

If he lives with his family and you do not live there, it is not rude. Be happy you are invited to the wedding. I wasn’t invited to my fiancé’s sisters wedding.