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i was invited to the bridal shower but not the wedding.

Lauren, on January 1, 2021 at 9:18 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

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So I’ve been friends with this girl for 18 years and she’s getting married in a couple months. I was invited to the bridal shower but not the wedding and I don’t if I should just accept the fact that I’m not invited or maybe expect an invitation. She talks about her wedding a lot around me but hasn’t said anything about me attending. It’s not my wedding so I understand but I feel like this isn’t normal. Her mother works with my mother and she’s been avoiding her lately so I assume that’s a no to an invitation. I gave her a gift and will definitely invite her to my wedding eventually but I feel kind of bitter/ disheartened about it. Maybe I’m just being sensitive but idk. Any advice?

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Latest activity by Kayse, on January 2, 2021 at 11:58 AM

Devoted October 2021
Chantelle · on January 1, 2021 at 9:24 PM
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Maybe she hasn’t sent the invitations yes? You said a couple months from now right? So there’s still time Maybe just touch base with her and check in about the wedding.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on January 1, 2021 at 9:35 PM
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I agree with Chantelle. Invitations might not have been sent out yet. They normally aren't sent out until about 6-8 weeks prior to the wedding. Another thing is that because of Covid couples have had to limit their guest lists because of venue restrictions so this could be the case if invites were sent out.
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on January 1, 2021 at 9:38 PM
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Invitations are usually sent 6-8 weeks ahead of the wedding, so she may have just not sent them yet. If you don't get an invite, then it is definitely a breach of etiquette as only those invited to the wedding should be invited to pre-wedding events.
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on January 1, 2021 at 9:46 PM
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That's not a given. It's too soon to tell. I would think it's odd that she's talking about her wedding to you often if she plans on not inviting you, unless you initiated the conversation about her wedding
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on January 1, 2021 at 9:47 PM
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Shower invites are usually sent out after the wedding invites. The only time it is acceptable to receive a shower invite only is if you are coworkers, share the same house of worship who is hosting it or in a social club together and someone chooses to host the party. It seems strange and rude to proceed the way you're describing.

Alot of people feel that etiquette is outdated and others don't care.
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Legend July 2022
Lisa · on January 1, 2021 at 9:56 PM
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I agree with the previous comments - and also, since she brings up the topic of her wedding around you, that possibly might indicate that she's planning to invite you. If she weren't planning to invite you, I would think that she wouldn't talk about the wedding to you. And like Hannah said, it would be a breach of etiquette if she invited you to the bridal shower, but not the wedding. I would wait a little bit to see if she sends you an invite. The mail has been a little backed up lately, so maybe it's still stuck at the post office if she already sent them.
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VIP June 2019
Hanna · on January 1, 2021 at 10:11 PM
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It's possible she hasn't sent invitations yet, or even that yours got lost in the mail. I would hold off a bit longer before assuming that you aren't getting an invite.
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Lauren · on January 2, 2021 at 12:39 AM
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A couple months was generous. 😅 it’s next month but maybe I’m just being paranoid. I’m not really sure. I just feel hurt about it bc we’ve been friends for so long but she’s not obligated to invite me.
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on January 2, 2021 at 12:42 AM
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Yikes, that's a big difference. Yeah, she's in the wrong here. I'm so sorry. She is not obligated to invite anyone she doesn't want, but she shouldn't have invited you to the shower if she wasn't planning to invite you to the wedding.
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Expert December 2020
Kayse · on January 2, 2021 at 11:58 AM
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Maybe she isn't sure how many guests her venue will allow or has had to drastically limit her guest list due to COVID? I wasn't sure how many guests I would be able to have until a week before my wedding.
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i was invited to the bridal shower but not the wedding.

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