i want to get married but i hate weddings

I'm like you. i have never been a big fan of parties. My dream wedding was just to run off and get married. My fh is the one who wants his family to be there, that's why i'm doing it. I decided to compromise and have a small wedding. Im also nervous about being looked at. i never liked attention on me. I say have a very very small with with both your parents and siblings. Take them out to eat. This way you can have something. In the end marriage is about compromise, so why not start with the wedding.

I feel very similarly to you. I really don't care for the traditional wedding, large crowds, etc. My first hope was to just elope. But my husband wanted a few more people there than our courthouse would allow. So we found a small 'vegas-style' wedding chapel near us. We had immediate family and the bridal party (which was essentially our family too). My husband also wanted a party, so we threw a small non-traditional party: food truck vendor which provided food all night. That meant our 3 hour party focused on dancing and hanging out with people.

There are some 'in between' options if you're interested. Don't feel pressured to have a traditional wedding if that's not your style.

If you don't like them, don't have one! Elope and have a dinner with people who you care about. Have a back yard BBQ. Do a destination elopement and bring no one! Lots of untraditional options

A couple I’m friends with got married at the city clerk’s office in Boston, then took photos around the city (some cityscape, some in parks) then had a nice dinner out with their immediate family. They then went to an all-inclusive Resort in the Caribbean with a handful of their closest friends for a week.

One of my bridesmaids got married on the beach last year with just their immediate family (parents, grandparents, and siblings) and had a small reception. There were about 40 people.

There are so many non-traditional options that I’m sure you can find one that works for you!

My coworker eloped in a ceremony that was just him and his wife and an officiant and photographer.
Then they had a dinner with just family. It doesn't need to be a giant reception event or anything. Make it to what you're comfortable with.

We had a DW with 15 guests. Very intimate & fun. Then we hosted a local reception a few months later. Nothing wrong with a small wedding or elopement!

Could you & your fiance elope together, just you two?