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Just Said Yes April 2019

i want to fire my friend officiant

Celina, on July 31, 2018 at 10:58 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 10

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I'm having a hard time right now with the choice of keeping my friend from work as my officiant or not. My friend and I have been working together for almost a year now, hung out outside of work and I've considered her to be a really good friend. Lately there have been some changes at work which has made our relationship change, well to me at least. I'm not sure if I'm acting prematurely or not being that the wedding is in 9 months and things can still change, but I think I want to hire a professional officiant and I'm not sure how to let her know without completely changing our relationship. Any thoughts or advice?? I was thinking of taking the "my parents want a professional" way out but idk! Lol! Please help!!

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Latest activity by Celina, on August 1, 2018 at 10:29 PM

Devoted September 2018
J'Neil · on July 31, 2018 at 11:07 PM
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This is tricky... if you can go the parent route, I’d be sure to give her some other role like a reading so it doesn’t come off as if you didn’t want to include her anymore.
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Just Said Yes April 2019
Celina · on July 31, 2018 at 11:10 PM
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It is tricky because if she doesn't officiate then I won't invite her. She already knows we're on a tight guest list, so since she's not family she won't get an invite. Ugh, this is so hard.
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Master September 2018
Tara · on August 1, 2018 at 1:20 AM
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Id say you should make an exception and some how squeeze her into the guest list if you dont want to risk ruining the friendship. Either that or keep her as the officiant. Unless you think she will be bad at it or you just plain dont like her anymore theres no reason to fire her. You obviously hired her for a reason
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Expert March 2019
Jaycie · on August 1, 2018 at 5:08 AM
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Definitely don't uninvite her to the wedding. Simply tell her that you really would prefer for her to enjoy the day as a guest and parents are pushing to hire an officiant with an actual contract.
My cousin does photography but isn't a pro for weddings. Lots of family pushed for him to do my wedding pics and I was nervous how they would turn out, but I honestly really do want him and his FH to come and have a good time. He said he doesnt mind bring his camera if I do want him to, so I may see if hes comfortable recording just our ceremony. Even then I feel bad asking him to do anything besides showing up and having a good time.
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Super October 2017
OrangeCrush · on August 1, 2018 at 10:21 AM
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Did your relationship change as she is now your supervisor or vise versa? Either way, don't univite her, she may not even come if you decide to hire a pro officiant.
What I can offer for advice: If you are hesitant AT ALL about having a friend officiate, hire a pro for whatever reason. We had hubby's best friend officiate (hubby asked him before taking to me, oh yay) and to be short and to the point: He did a good job, we are married, BUT: That man caused me A LOT of stress. He did not take rehearsals very seriously, I wrote the entire service myself, then he kept rejecting reading I had picked. He would joke around about "Well I won't write stuff down, I will wing it" and I was like Lord where is the Pepto.
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Just Said Yes April 2019
Celina · on August 1, 2018 at 10:29 AM
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I have been her supervisor since she started work, it's other players at work who have since changed and, in my opinion, her true colors are starting to show which, I'm not sure it's my mind playing tricks on me or if it true, so I may wait it out a little and see what happens. I'm DEFINATELY stressing about the whole ceremony so I may just leave it to a professional just to alleviate some anxiety there.
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Super October 2017
OrangeCrush · on August 1, 2018 at 11:25 AM
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I hope I did not stress you out with our story. Lots of people hire "friendors" and have a good experience. It is usually because they are pro first, like Uncle Hank owns a bakery and will do a cake at cost, NOT Uncle Henry prides himself a cakemaker and will save us a few bucks. With us, our friend had never done this before, hasn't since, it is not his FT or PT livelihood. Then you factor in he did it for free, ie: "doing us a favor" and it was just.....ugh. If I could do it again I would hire a pro.
Sounds like you want a pro, I would encourage that and use the lines of "my parents want a pro" and "We want you to enjoy the day" as it is A LOT of prep work going in and on the actual day. Also, there are many horror stories of people backing out, (stage fright, etc) so with a pro you WILL get a licensed person or a suitable sub if illness should occur.
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Devoted October 2018
Nnh1 · on August 1, 2018 at 9:36 PM
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I would wait it out to see how things unfold and if the relationship dynamics change then the issue will take care of itself. Another route you can take if you and FH are planning on doing marriage counseling even one session is to let her know of your plans to do that and that you'd like to have the Officiant who will counsel you guy marry you too.
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Just Said Yes April 2019
Celina · on August 1, 2018 at 10:27 PM
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Thank you.
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