i want to cancel my big wedding and elope! Help!

Can you hire a wedding planner and day of coordinator to take it from here? So that way you're not stressed and FH can still have his big wedding?

I feel like that should have been discussed before all this planning took place. You need to talk to your FH about how you're feeling and find a happy medium that works for you both.

I had a friend who got married well in advance of their official wedding in a super small ceremony and then went on a honeymoon. Then when it came to their big wedding, they got to do their vows in front of everyone and have the big dinner etc but the stress level was slashed in half because they were already married! They called it a wedding celebration and explained that they would be publicly sharing vows and their special day with all their family and friends in celebration of the commitment they had previously made. It went over very well and gave both bride and groom what they both desired. It was a great compromise!

Maybe talk to FH and see if this would be a good compromise for you two as well? Definitely share your anxiety and stress levels and see if you can come to a reasonable agreement on what both of you can do. That is super important for both of you.

Yes, I would rather do an elopement or intimate wedding which just has closest friends and family member. +250 people are too many and the cost will be so much. It's your wedding. It is about you two, not other people.

Are you able to cancel without losing a ton of money??? If we were to cancel now, we'd STILL owe all the money to our vendors...

250 guests is alot..

That sounds pretty bad, Cindy. I hope you can find some relief. Regardless of your solution, try to take a day off, or at least an afternoon, to relax. Maybe get a massage or go for a hike in a quiet place. Whatever relaxes you.

Is it an option to convert the event to a party? Then do something along what Sherrie describes. Get married beforehand, with a small group attending. Later have the big party your FH wants at the appointed date. A party is a lot less stressful to plan than a full wedding, and you can retain the deposit you put down at least for the venue and food.

I was right there just 2 weeks ago. My stress and anxiety was so bad I was having physical symtoms. I started seeing a therapist for the first time in my life because I was so overwhelmed with wedding planning, my job, my parents divorce, and my current living situation. It’s actually been helping a lot!

FH and I sat down and had several discussions about canceling our wedding (150+ guest to the tune of around $30K) and elope instead. The second half of our deposit for the venue was due last week which would also lock us into food/beverage minimum for 100 people, no turning back at that point. Really talk to your fiancé about why the big wedding is or isn’t important to you. Would you both regret not having the big wedding? Who would you want there for the elopement? We debated back in forth for several tearful nights. For us, we decided we really wanted to celebrate with all of our friends and have a great time, we’re focusing on that aspect of it. Take a break and focus on the non stressful parts, for me that was picking out my dogs bow tie lol

Get a planner. Then he can have what he wants (big wedding) and you can have a TON less stress. Good luck and congratulations on your special day!

I can't help. I wish my Fiance would allow me to cancel and elope. If he is on board, and it is causing you that much stress - do it. If he isn't, then maybe take a step back for a couple days and try and focus on relaxing, positive things, being married to the love of your life... and then ask for help.