First, I want to start by apologizing for the length of this post, but you may want to read it all to be able to help me!I feel extremely guilty for feeling this way. I’m struggling so much with my current wedding dress (the first two pictures) for several reasons. I will list my reasons below:1. My sister helped me pick and pay for this dress. My sister was my matron of honor and niece was my bridesmaid for the wedding. We ended up having a falling out after going dress shopping for the bridal party. My niece was being a bratty teenager, and when I called her out, my sister’s abusive narcissistic behaviors really came out. She caused a scene in the bridal shop, threw all the dresses, called me names and yelled, and walked out the store. I decided to take them both out of the bridal party and we didn’t speak for a month. A month later after I reached out, they attacked me and blamed me for their own behavior, and completely pulled out of the wedding by cancelling their reservation for the resort (I’m having a destination wedding). My sister has always been emotionally abusive towards me since I was about 6 years old (she’s 20 years older than me), but I thought things would be different because we hadn’t had any arguments or falling outs in a long time. I was also extremely sucked into her narcissistic abuse and was unaware of her manipulation for a very long time. Now that I think about it, there were many things she and my niece were doing to sabotage my wedding. I also found out my sister was talking behind my back saying things like my fiancé is going to leave me and that she didn’t want to attend my wedding because of the price, and that I’m a bad person. There’s more, but I won’t get into details because I’ll end up writing a novel, and all of this is too triggering for me. Her ties to this dress make me feel so weird, even though she actually never came to the store to help me pick out my dress (she helped via FaceTime) or any of my dress fittings. I told her my feelings were very hurt when she chose to go out an drink over coming to my fittings because she means so much to me. Ugh silly me for feeding into her narcissism! 2. I chose this dress thinking I would be able to change my body. I’ve gained about 20 lbs in the past 2 years, which I’m still getting used to. When I bought this dress, I thought I would be able to lose weight to look better in it. I now have a different mindset, where I don’t necessarily want to change my physical body, but I want to accept myself and take care of my body for health purposes not weight loss purposes. That being said, I feel like this dress makes it difficult for me to feel sexy. It’s not as flattering as I want it to be. My back fat is hanging out and my belly pokes out too (I know it’s not the worse). I don’t have an issue with any of these areas of my body, but I do want to wear a dress that flatters those areas. I love my body so much more than before and I want something that makes me feel sexy, and my current dress just isn’t doing that for me. It’s a gorgeous dress, I just feel strange having to force myself to ignore the things that bother me about it. Because it’s an extremely low cut illusion back, I can’t wear any body shapers to suck in the belly... also I fear that body shapers will just accentuate the back rolls. So last week I tried on a beautiful dress. It is extremely flattering on me. A lot more simple in terms of style, but still nice. I personally love the illusion neckline of my wedding dress more, but I love the overall look and the back of the wedding dress I tried on so much more. I’m struggling with this so much, because I feel so much guilt and confusion around all of this. Please help me decide! I really apprexiate all of your support!
Potential new dress
