I switched my maid of honor, did I do the right thing?

I'm gonna call this a troll post since it's your only post and it says you were married earlier this month.

Did you change your mind before asking anyone? I mean if you decided to pick a different MOH before asking anyone, it's not that big of a deal.

Update your wedding date and upload an avatar, more people will take you seriously.

Good call, JSull, lol! But just in case... You should base who you choose to be in your wedding party on who you are closest to and can't imagine not standing next to you. Bridesmaids don't have to do anything but be at your wedding in the dress. They do not have to help plan "wedding details" with you.

I think you did the right thing! She needs to know that though, your choice was because of her actions, and I would have done the same! She obviously knew of talk about her being your moh and she should know how important every detail about your upcoming day is and if she would rather be selfish and childish then she doesn't deserve such placement.

If you didn't ask anyone and just changed your mind as to who you were going to ask, you're OK. I would say you avoided a situation that would only have caused you a lot of stress.

Let your friend know you are concerned for her, and why, and that you are there for her.

How can you change your maid of honor if you were already married about two weeks ago?

ETA: I see your date changed...

Sorry everyone! When I made this account I put in a tentative date as we hadn't set a date yet. I haven't been on for awhile but I just put our accurate date. Sorry for the confusion!

I mean if you didn't official ask her to be your MOH I don't see a problem with what you did.

You didn't ask her, so you didn't switch your MOH.

Since she was unaware she was going to be your MOH, I don't see an issue here. As long as you're happy with who you picked...

If you hadn't officially ASKED her then it's fine to change your mind since it's not really affecting them. However, please settle down on your expectations of your friends. They do not have to help you with "wedding details". If you take on DIY projects that is YOUR choice. They aren't your employees. And I am concerned that your friend cancelling on ONE evening means you've already demoted her in your mind to a "lesser" role. Your wedding is 6 months away. It was not that big of a deal that she cancelled and it does not mean that she would flake out on the wedding day.

If you are actually concerned about her lifestyle choices, then speak to her as a friend not as someone planning a wedding. It sounds like you are far more concerned about your wedding details than you are about HER right now.

If you are concerned about her as a person, talk to her as your friend. Sounds like she could be dealing with other crap in her life and maybe she needs a friend right now.

If you never asked her to be your MOH and just asked somebody else, you didn't change anything except your own mind.

I would have bailed on helping with details too--that's for you and your fi to handle.

How do you know she was hungover? Maybe she has an illness or is on medication that alters her sleep pattern or other things.

You can't blame her or anyone else about not really caring as much as you about how excited you are or how hard you are working. It's your wedding, you should be both, not others.

Sounds like she dodged a bullet and perhaps instead of judging her on gossip, you could reach out to her and she if she needs help.

My best friend lives in Cali and I'm in Alabama. I wanted so bad to have her be my MOH, but also knew she wouldn't be able to be here for any event but the wedding. I chose someone else to be my MOH and it was the best decision I've made. She's been there with me every step of the way with planning the wedding. I love her to pieces and it's made our friendship stronger.

Good call!

Just some clarification: when I say she has a "reputation" I didn't mean a reputation for drinking or partying (I don't care about that) I meant a reputation for not showing up. I know she doesn't have an illness on account of this happening multiple times, this is just the first time it has happened to me instead of another friend. Also, the event was a surprise party for my bridesmaids to show them how much I appreciate them and to let them know how special they are to me. The only details we would be planning, as they would later find out, would be their preferences on their dresses/shoes/etc. Strictly matters involving them. I would never ask them to help me with other wedding matters and I comepletely understand that it's not their job.

Did you already ask the original MOH? If so then yes, you did the wrong thing. If you hadn't asked anyone yet, then it's your choice.

If you never asked her to be the MOH, you're not really "switching" if you asked someone else.

I understand what everyone is saying. If you did not officially ask her then you are not switching the MOH. I do agree you most likely made the right choice I am worried about how it will affect your friendship.

I am not getting married another year. And following the advise I learned on WW I have not asked anyone to be in my WP except our girls, who are 9 and 10. Growing up I have always known who my MOH would be and vise versa. It is my cousin/bestfriend who lives in another state. Although I have not asked it is expected that she will be my MOH. She would feel devastated if I asked someone else. This would cause a major rift between us.

I think you need to have a sit down and talk to your friend and explain why you decided on someone else. This type is thing could messed up a friendship. I would not want to risk a friendship based on a technically.