i still want a wedding but some say it's pointless.

It’s totally ok to have a vow renewal and do the whole thing: ceremony, food, dancing! How fun to share the experience with friends & family.

Of course it's ok. Some people are just crazy judgy with arbitrary opinions. Just don't pretend you're not married already to encourage guests to give more gifts. And thank you both for your service.

I'm in the same boat. We went to the court house a year ago because the military only cares about the paperwork. They could care less about a wedding. Your friends (if they're civilians) dont understand what it's like. Have the wedding of your dreams.

Go for it!! Actually, the first wedding FH and I attended together was for two friends who got married super quick because he was being deployed. They never had a ceremony or reception, and so three years later when they moved back to his home state, they did the whole Shebang and it was beautiful and fun and they got to get all dressed up and take photos and everything!! I say go for it!!!

It's not pointless at all! You should celebrate your love any way you choose to. If they don't agree then they don't have to come. Thank you both for your service.

It's totally fine to have a vow renewal as long as you're open and honest with your guests about already being married. I would refrain from calling it a wedding since married people can't have weddings.

I don't think it's pointless. You can renew vows, and have a reception after. It may not be a traditional wedding since you're already married but it's still a nice idea.

People get married for all sorts of practical reasons, I don’t think that means they should never get the experience of a wedding. But I agree with PPs, be upfront with your guests that this is a vow renewal.

It would be ok in any circumstances if you wanted a wedding after legally signing the papers but people will be a LOT more understanding to your circumstances, military is a big deal. How your friends feel about your wedding doesn’t matter, they’re not footing the bill so they can chill.

One of my friends did this! They were already engaged, got married quickly, (she needed the insurance and couldn't afford it), and then a year later had an actual wedding. She kept her quick ceremony hush hush so as not to offend anyone, but tbh, I don't really think it was a big deal. If you want a wedding ceremony, have one! I think it's perfectly okay to call it what it is; a wedding.

Not pointless at all! Marriage is the goal, but the wedding is the celebration of that marriage. It makes sense you want to have a celebration. We are having two ceremonies, one to be legally married on our anniversary, the other a handfasting to celebrate our marriage with friends and family. You could choose to do a vow renewal and invite people to party with you. It's actually quite common these days.

It's not pointless. My friends eloped in May this year and later on in October this year is when they're having a wedding.

No! It's not pointless!! It's your dream!

I think it's so sweet that your husband still wants a real wedding!! I say go for it! I have dreamed of a wedding since I was a little girl. But life got in the way, and it never happened for me. Until one day, it did! So, now, at 51, I'm getting married for the first time!! It's never too late!!

It's not pointless at all! Vow renewals are special events. Have one if that's what you and FH want