I regret choosing a bridesmaid am I horrible?

I would probably talk to my brother if I were you. Let him know that you love him and not trying to hurt him but you don't want his gf in the wedding. Let him know what you have heard and just tell him that you feel it's better if she wasn't apart of the wedding and that out of love and respect for him you're letting him know first and why. Then tell his gf why you feel it isn't a good idea to be in your wedding, that you feel it's going to cause issues and conflict and that you want to keep peace between her, you and your brother.

I agree with catlin!

Did she already pay for/order her dress. If you absolutely cannot have her in the wedding your really should reimburse her for any BM expenses she's occurred.

If she's your brother's gf and she's getting married, does that mean she's really your brother's fiancé?

Firing someone from being your BM can be a friendship ending move. You really shouldn't do it unless you are ready to cut ties with someone forever. If this woman is your brother's fiancé, then that means this is your FSIL. She's not going anywhere and you'll be hard pressed to cut ties with her unless you're willing to cut ties with both her and your brother. She should not be saying these things or treating your kids horribly, but if you kick her out of your BP and potentially ruin your relationship with her and your brother, you'll be seen as the bad guy.

Since addressing the issues with her directly hasn't gotten you anywhere, I think the next thing to do is talk to your brother about why you're upset. Does he know his fiancé is treating his family this way? His thoughts on this might carry more weight with her than yours do.

To be honest I'm not sure what to do. She has not spent any money at all on the wedding. I am paying for everything that she would need. I didn't want any help paying for anything I'm just happy to have them by my side. We havn't picked anyone a dress because I want all my bridesmaids to match but she hates every dress I've liked so far. I have addressed my brother about the issue with my kids but all he says is she didn't mean it she was in a bad mood that day. I don't want to hurt either one of there feelings I just want to know that she's really my friend and not going to say hurtful things about my children anymore. I'm going to try to talk it out before I make any drastic decisions because I really thought she was my friend.

I would kick her out. Talk shit about you and is mean to your kids? Fuck her. Etiquette is not even considered any more when someone does that to your kids.

That's definitely a sticky situation since she's your brother's fiancé. Because of that, I would try to have another conversation with her first. Let her know how you feel about what she said and tell her you want her to stop the bullshit or you can't have her in your wedding. Tell her you want things to be okay between the two of you but she needs to stop. Also have your mom talk to your brother with you about it since she can back you up with what she said. I can't believe she would even say those things to your mother! Make sure your brother knows it's not that you have something against her since that's his fiancé but that it really hurts you the things she's said about you.

This is a hot mess.

First, she's your brother's fiancée, not his girlfriend. That cleans she's soon to be his wife, or your sister in law. If you "kick her out", be prepared for a limited or non-existent relationship with your brother and sister in law going forward, and strained family relationships.

Now. Your wedding is four months away. If your BMs don't have dresses within the next few weeks, you're gonna have some issues. They don't have to match. Also, you don't need her opinion. You can choose the dress, inform the BMs, and if your FSIL doesn't buy it, she can attend as a guest. This is an easy out.

Second, she doesn't have to be supportive of wedding planning. She doesn't have to go shopping or talk about your wedding. She's planning her own; no one will ever care about your wedding as much as you do.

Third, I'm not sure what you mean by she's mean to your children. Not everyone likes kids? Does she yell at them or something? I don't get it.

Commenting on your parenting skills, while definitely rude, is not the same thing as mean to your children. If she doesn't have kids she has no idea about parenting and is probably commenting out of turn and uninformed.

Well my issues has fixed its self. Today she broke up with my brother because he has kids and she explained that she does not want to live in a house with children. He is upset but he understands that I guess. She also told me today she cannot be my bridesmaid because it would be to painful to remain in contact with my brother. It was very unexpected but there engagement was also unexpected anyway because they had only actually been "together" for two months. Thankyou everyone who gave me advice.

I still want to know how she was mean to your kids.

What does she do to your kids that is mean? Is she verbally abusive? I mean I'm never a fan of kicking out a bridesmaid but if she is doing some really uncalled things towards your children it may be a different thing all together..

ETA..just saw your comment that she called off the wedding and dumped your brother..interesting.

I think that behavior justifies kicking anyone out your wedding. Just let her know that you don't need her to participate in your bridal party anymore...and if she asks why...tell her everything you just told us. She might argue...but you made your decision.

@courtney that saved you the headache, lol. But I have to say if one of my BM said she hated one of my kids or that I'm a bad mother, I would have cut her out for sure. I would not care if it would cause tense family situations. You do not screw with the kids or a mother's parenting skills.

This woman sounds like a crazy lady.

Something's really up with this chick. You date and get engaged to a guy with kids only to break it off later because you don't want to be in a house with kids? Good riddance to her!

Well, that does fix things for you!

They dated for two months, got engaged, and now she's breaking it off because she doesn't want to live with his kids? There's a lot going on there. The kids thing is something you think about before making a commitment to marry a person who has kids, no matter how long you've been together. Wow.

You're definitely dodging a bullet by not getting her as a SIL, and so is your brother. I'm sure he doesn't feel that way right now, though, and is probably hurting.

Umm... firing someone who YOU asked to be in your WP is a great way to END any relationship. My FSIL cussed out my FH (I was so angry) because she was all involved in some drama my FMIL caused about our wedding. She's still going to be a BM in the wedding because firing her after her ugliness won't stop her drama or the fact that she will be my SIL. Choose your battles wisely. Things can get so blown up in the moment and you want to make sure you won't to something you regret.

Wow. Glad it fixed itself!!

If someone told me they hated my child I wouldn't be able to keep a relationship with them. That's so rude. Glad she ended things herself before you had to.

So glad the problem fixed itself. One less on your plate!