i Really Feel Like I’m Done

I'm so sorry hon. Have you talked to him about it? Put the wedding stuff to the side and work on you. Focus on yourselves, your own path first. Considered counseling?
Do whatever is best for you.

I Been Complaining For The Last 3 years we been together for 5 and have a 2 year old together I spoke of counseling he don’t think we need it I’m just tired like I’m really fed up like I want that fairy tale but I’m over trying

It feel like when he make a little change than I’m on go mode ready to get married but then he bring me back to reality I’m just tired like it’s too short to be unhappy

Do whatever makes you happy.. don’t go into a marriage feeling that way! It’ll only make things worse.

View Quoted Comment I agree but then I feel like I’m wasting my time

View Quoted Comment You’ll waste more time in the end if you end up married and miserable... you just really gotta sit back and ask yourself is THIS what you want to settle for. Ya know? Y’all should try counseling. You may not think you need it but it can be good for the both of you.

I Know We Need It He Don’t Think We Need It

View Quoted Comment Like you said, life is too short to be unhappy! Way too short.

I know how hard it is to leave when you have kids together, my mother was a single parent and I know she struggled not only financially with feeding, clothing, and sheltering me, but also emotionally with having to go it alone. However, you also have to think about what is best for you and your child. Do you want your child to grow up in this environment? You can't hide unhappiness from a child, and you don't want your child to grow up learning that is what marriage is. Children don't stay young and naive forever. Do you want to still be feeling like this in a year? five years? ten years? If he won't go to counseling, it sounds like he doesn't want to fix things or work on the issues. Every relationship takes work, and if both partners aren't willing to put in the work, they aren't really partners. I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope you have a good support system of family and friends to help you decide what to do. Good luck and take care of yourself. I wish you the best.

Thanks Everyone For Your Your Support and responses yes I have a ok support system I wish my mom was still here that would be all the support I need but I told him time after time I want to move on I’m not happy but we go to sleep in the next morning he act like them conversations never happened

View Quoted Comment If this happens over and over, and he is not really planning to make the huge (to him) commitment to stop drinking, then you are wasting your time. I am sorry, thus is one of the hardest things. But if you take second place to a bottle, or drugs, he is married to them, and you are a mistress he casts off whenever he wants. You deserve better. Your child deserves better. You need to find a way out.
Love that only runs one way, is not sustainable. And you do not want your child to grow up thinking you are not worthy if respect and caring from an alcoholic husband who has no intention of changing. And the child is of an age to begin to notice. For yourself and the baby, break it off. And in a while, find someone to care about who will put you two before everything. There are different kinds of love and affection. You deserve better than being his after thought to drinking. He cares, when he is sober enough to think about it. That is not enough. Don't marry him. If a little poison makes you sick, more, 39 years of it, will not get better. Go to AlAnon, yourself. They have meetings for beginners, family of people who continue to drink, and it will help you to do positive things for yourself and the child, to know how others have gotten out.
Online, we can show our sympathy, but we cannot give you the real personal support you will get from other loved ones of alcoholics, who have either successfully gotten someone to stop drinking, or who have realized they need to get their lives back, and break things off. You need support, both of you. This is a heartbreaking thing.

Yes it’s very heartbreaking his mom and dad drink a lot I grew up with seeing my mom and dad in the hospital from drinking in I see him going down that path when I noticed he was lieing tome about him droit was a lot I don’t want to change a person and he say I’m tryna change him

View Quoted Comment Yes honey your job is not to change him, he is not for you if you have to change him you guys could co-parent and raise you kid together that’s it before this guy I went through the same situation the bad thing was I went through with the wedding and 2 months later I was done with him take it from me get out have fun with being who God made you happiness will find you and your baby sooner than later trust me

Thank You Everyone I’m Currently &Tears Cause I Know In my Heart I’m Done My Mind Is Just Getting The Best Of Me This Is A Big Decision because he is a good man his drinking just turns me off I have things I will take to my grave he not physically abusive just mentally sometimes but I have to think what’s best for me and our daughter

I’ve been where you are a few years ago and decided to walk out with both my kids. It was a struggle at the beginning but I’ve learnt to love myself and was happy being single. Now I’m marrying the man of my dreams who adore my kids and them in return. I do not regret my decision and have taught my kids to expect only the best in life. Put your happiness first. I grew up with an alcoholic dad and it’s not to good life. Do what’s best for your kid and yourself. Good luck

Do you think maybe him joining a rehab program will help him... And im sorry your going thru this my prayers are with you..

He don’t think he need rehab