Rachel
Just Said Yes August 2020

i haven’t told my parents about my engagement

Rachel, on January 14, 2019 at 8:13 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 14
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Hi guys! My fiancé and I got engaged a month ago and we haven’t told my parents yet. The reason is my mom has made some comments about how we should live in a place of our own instead of renting their house. What do you guys think? What should I do?

14 Comments

Latest activity by Judith, on January 19, 2019 at 6:16 PM
  • Mcellist
    Super March 2019
    Mcellist ·
    • Flag

    You're a grown up. You need to tell them. And if possible, you guys need to move out on your own ASAP.

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  • Future Mrs. Petro
    Devoted November 2018
    Future Mrs. Petro ·
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    Congrats on your engagement! I'm not sure what that has to do with your engagement and why you haven't told your mother yet? Won't she be really hurt when she finds out the truth?
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  • Future Mrs. Danger
    Expert November 2019
    Future Mrs. Danger ·
    • Flag
    Tell your parents. Have a looonnnggg engagement and save to buy a house, before worrying about an expensive wedding.....it's what I would do anyway.
    • Reply
  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
    • Flag
    I guess I'm not sure how the two things correlate.
    Do you live with them and they want you in a place of your own? Are you renting a house they own but not living together?


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  • Rachel
    Just Said Yes August 2020
    Rachel ·
    • Flag

    Never mind, guys. I'll figure it out myself

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  • Martelle
    Devoted July 2019
    Martelle ·
    • Flag

    Move out of their house....And tell them asap...I don't understand why you wouldn't? Not doing so is a sign of disrespect in my opinion and you LIVING with them makes it worse.

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  • JustKidding
    VIP April 2018
    JustKidding ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Figure what out? You provided no info and expected us to help?
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  • Nicole
    Devoted January 2019
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    Don’t feel bad I’m getting married in 10 days and my SO family doesn’t even know anything about an engagement or a wedding.
    • Reply
  • J
    Just Said Yes October 2019
    Julia ·
    • Flag

    I second the long engagement. You should definitely tell them, but focus should be on working together to rent a place and getting settled. I also had to live with my parents right after college (many do) and needed some help from my SO to get moved out. A long engagement is also not uncommon these days. It might take a moment, but it'll be worth it. And you'll get to call them your fiance the whole time! Congrats and good luck! ^_^

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  • Jennifer
    VIP October 2021
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    As a grown up, it is your prerogative to tell them or not. And to think you have to have your own home instead of renting theirs is silly. I’d think they’d be happy you got engaged and are being responsible by renting their home( if they don’t need the money- have them set up a “First Home” savings account and put the $$ into it towards a home!) instead of rushing to buy...

    Maybe have them over for a nice dinner, in your home( their home? The home? Lol) and tell them that you and FH got engaged and you want to celebrate with them. And use that time to voice any concerns any of you have...

    Best of Luck
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    VIP August 2018
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    If renting their house is causing a problem then you guys need to move - you're already paying rent, just pay it to someone else.

    As for the engagement, You should tell them very soon. The longer you wait will just make it worse, especially if other people have known for a while before your parents find out. I'm sure most parents would be hurt or even mad that they were left out of such important information.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    So you rent a house from your parents? Can you afford to live somewhere else? Is she saying that since she wants you to be financially independent prior to being married?

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP December 2019
    Michelle ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Why not????? Yes, I;m nosy, Very nosy lol

    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    I agree with this. Tell them when you are ready. Don't be pushed into doing it before you are comfortable talking about it with them. If they have already said you could live there as a rental, there is no need to move because you get engaged, unless like any landlord they want to use the space. If it is a good rent, it will help you save to at some point move to your own place. . . An attitude that has come about with recent electronics, with most everyone having cell phones, and the social media, is the idea that the minute you know something, you are obliged to tell people. Wrong. Just because you are able to communicate immediately if you want, changes nothing. You still can hold personal information to yourself until you feel ready to share it. Until you actively and obviously start making wedding plans parents will notice, it is entirely up to you. People above talk as though it is a requirement to tell parents or other family immediately. Rubbish. No such obligation. People are not entitled to immediate notice or anything. Think about things a while.
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