I haven't been to that many weddings...

The usual Protestant order is:

The mothers of the bride and groom are seated after all guests are seated, and immediately before the start of the processional music. They are usually escorted to their seats by a brother of the bride or groom, or by another usher.

After they are seated, the officiant, groom and best man enter by a side door and wait at the altar.

Groomsmen may also enter by a side door, or can escort the bridesmaids.

Bridesmaids

Ring bearer and/or flower girl

Maid or Matron of Honor

The bride, escorted by her father or other close male family member or friend. At the front of the aisle, her escort can remain standing with her until the minister asks "Who gives this woman in marriage?" to which he responds "I do," or "Her mother and I do." If you skip the "giving away" part, her escort walks with the bride to the front of the aisle, and then takes his seat in the front row.

(cont.)

The usual Jewish order is:

The Rabbi and/or cantor

Grandparents of the bride, who are then seated in the first row

Grandparents of the groom, who are then seated in the first row

Groomsmen, walking in pairs

Best man

The groom, who is escorted by his parents.

Bridesmaids

Maid or Matron of Honor

Ring bearer and/or flower girl

The bride, escorted by her parents

If you're doing a secular ceremony, you can borrow from whatever traditions you like. Personally, I prefer the Jewish tradition, in which both bride and groom are escorted by both parents. It recognizes the contributions of both sets of parents, and no "giving away" is involved.

(cont.)

As far as the vows, etc., go, you might Google "secular wedding ceremony." There are a lot of them out there, and you can pick and choose from them as you like. Or if you already have an officiant, your officiant may have some sample ceremonies you can look at.

Another thing to think about is that there is no real reason why the bride's attendants must all be female, and the groom's must all be male. Men of honor, bridesmen, best women, and groomswomen have become common. My wife and I had a dude of honor (my son) and a maid of honor (my daughter).

Thanks! I guess that I have a hard time separating what the officiant says from the vows, because I've only been to one wedding where they wrote there vows themselves, at all of the other weddings I've been to they just repeated what the priest/pastor said. I love the idea of saying our own vows, but isn't there normally a reading or something before the vows? Or something that the officiant says?

Well, taking the Church of England ceremony as an example, there are three elements to the promises: declarations, vows, and the ring ceremony. In our case, the declarations went:

Rabbi: NotFroofy, will you take 2dBride to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and protect her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

NotFroofy: I will.

(In all of these, we had identical language from me to her.)

We did not write our own vows, but repeated after the rabbi:

I, NotFroofy, take you, 2dBride, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.

And then at the exchange of rings, we each repeated after the rabbi:

With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee honor, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow.

We also had a reading between the declarations and the vows.

(cont.)

(We are an interfaith couple, so we used the Church of England language for this part of the ceremony, even though the ceremony was conducted by a rabbi and was in a synagogue.)

Again, if you are having a secular ceremony, you can play around with any/all of this language, or come up with something completely new. But that gives you a general idea of the usual structure.

I like the wording to those vows! And thanks for all the info, I'm going to youtube some wedding videos.

Jennifer - I have like 2 or 3 different ceremonies saved as .doc files.

And Vow examples.

If you want to click on my profile and send me a message with your email, I can send them to you.

Also, do you have an officiant yet? They usually have ceremony examples too for you to look at.

~ happy planning