i have hit a wall

Can you negotiate with the cake baker? My cake was included with the price of mu venue catering, but I was able to negotiate with my DJ and photographer.

There are many more affordable but still delicious options for cake! Many people on here RAVE about Costco cakes. Also try bakeries at grocery stores in your area...many have professional bakers and the cakes taste great at a fraction of the price (i.e Whole Foods, Safeway). One other idea if you still want a "designer" baker is to opt for a smaller showpiece cake (one that maybe just serves you and your wedding party), and then serve sheet cake to the rest of your guests. It's the same exact cake but so much cheaper. Your baker should be able to price this option out for you.

I can see where you're coming from. a lot of people go into wedding planning thinking that things wouldn't cost as much as they do! the most i can say is either save more money or find alternatives! maybe there's a cheaper baker out there who can do similar items or maybe work with that baker to see if there's more affordable options, etc. sometimes you do have to kind of compromise on some things - i know i've settled on some things vs others for the sake of fitting my budget.

You have to decide what’s most important to you when it comes to your reception. There are many things that guests don’t really care about. In addition just remember that the day is really about you getting married and not about the “things” for the wedding. I know everyone wants a beautiful wedding but it doesn’t have to cost that much to have a nice wedding. Shop around for other vendors and again decide what is most important. Good luck.

I will find a new baker because the price is too high. I wanted to do a small cake and desserts. I think the whole cake cutting thing is cute for the bride and groom, but asking 100+ people to like the same cake is a lot. I also think the idea of someone having to cut 100+ slices of cake is unnecessary. I wanted to do small/bite-sized desserts and a small cake.

It isn't the cake baker, I can find a new one. It is the whole thing. All of the money and costs adding up. A lot of things are already in motion and I can't really stop. I am a DIY bride. I am hand making my centerpieces and decorations. I am not doing real flowers, I am buying silk/artificial and putting them together myself. The photographer has already provided us a discount. The venue is set. I am taking all of the cheap alternatives as I can.

I want a big beautiful wedding, but I don't need it. I just need my future husband, that's the only part that matters to me. If I am going to cry about money and not having it, is it worth it? Or is it just best to elope.

A cake is not a necessity. You can just get one from your local grocery store.

I feel like I did a bad job with this post.
The cake isn't the point.
I was trying to express how I was feeling overwhelmed with everything. And I guess I did a bad job with that.

Just breathe! And when you meet with vendors be firm about your budget- ask for pricing before you taste/ try on. Also I would let the shop owner know about the fact that your budget wasn’t respected when dress shopping! That is bad business! You can have your beautiful wedding on a budget don’t let businesses try and step all over your budget! Good luck

View Quoted Comment It is expensive and the costs fo add up. I understand the feeling. I am in a high cost of living area, and I had major sticker shock when we started planning our wedding. You are right that all you need is you and your future husband. There is nothing wrong with eloping, and there is nothing wrong with having a big wedding. You have to make the choice that is right for you. For all the stress, I loved having my beautiful day of celebrating our love with our family and friends. Some people prefer something small and intimate, sometimes just them. There is no wrong vision. You and your future spouse have to decide what is best for the two of you.

For the majority of us, weddings come with strict budgets, and like any event, can easily be pushed over such amounts. It is almost like the moment you say ‘wedding’ that prices go up, and of course everything is just so nice and shiny!

If I can say so, I think you need to be more proactive about staying in your budget. If someone shows you something out of your price range, don’t bother looking at it. If a vendor comes in above what you can pay, look for other vendors.

For example, I LOVE to bake but I do not have time to bake my own wedding cake, but I was sceptical about cake because I have very high standards since I myself bake. I tried four different bakers ranging from $280USD to $750USD and surprisingly the cheapest baker had the most delicious cakes and was the clear standout.

Don’t be disheartened by your budget. Exercise some self-control and explore all avenues and you will be a-ok! 😊

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Cut yourself some slack and take a little mental break. Wedding planning can be overwhelming and take a lot out of you. I've had similar feelings and ended up crying, saying we're going to elope to ease the stress. Once I gave myself a couple of days to freak out, I went back and looked at where I could cut some corners and re-access some things.

What are some things you did to get excited for your wedding before it got to this point? Maybe re-visit them to get a little spark back.

I'm sorry you feel so overwhelmed. Hopefully it gets better

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Oh love, take a break! Everything combined at once will of course overwhelm you and stress you out. I cried my eyes out one day because my mom was making me feel bad about wanting only one flower girl and ring bearer, then we ended up deciding to not have any at all. I took a step back for a couple of days and came back energized and ready to start planning again. Sometimes that's all it takes.

Give yourself a break from planning and remind yourself that you're doing the best you can with what you have! When you come back to planning, do a little more research and searching to find a caterer that will meet your needs for an affordable price. Maybe cut one of the small desserts out and see where that takes you budget wise.

Be kind to yourself and give yourself some slack. It'll all work out!