I have a Maid of Honor but my groom doesnt want a best man...

If you made the decision to go behind your FH back to ask her your gonna have to make things right. Thats no way to start a marriage although it is something small the act itself is not because it was sneaky. If she has not brought a dress my advice would be that you have to put on your big girl pants and unask her. Explain to her the situation and offer her a different job in the wedding. If you are doing it in a church have her read a passage from the bible or something like that

Technically he doesn't have to have a bm for you to have an moh. you might feel like people are disgusted but they'd probably be more confused than anything. if he truly doesn't want a bm he could just call it a groomsman. Just justify it to him with how you really feel, you are entitled to change your mind. You probably could have brought it up to him first but what's done is done and I don't see why it would be such a huge deal. Plus, you do need someone to hold the rings and your bouqet

Its not that I went behind his back at all! Me and her got into a deeply emotional conversation about everything her and I had gone through together and throught our lives and it just at that moment came to me and felt right... I felt like she truly desrved it... She did already buy a dress and I wouldnt even concider un asking her...

Well if your FH felt strongly enough for there to be an argument talk to him about it. Brides sometimes forget that its not just their wedding. If he doesnt feel comfortable with it then your gonna have to find a compromise and in the future always run things by him first

LaDonna - do not feel like you have to have a 'matching set'. FH can stand up at the alter by himself and your MOH can walk down the aisle by herself both on the way in and the way out.

You were willing to be different with making the decision of not having a bridal party at all, so be different and just have a MOH! If you are doing programs at the ceremony, make sure you list her as the MOH, and when there isn't someone being listed as the BM, your guests should figure out that there isn't one.

Good luck on whatever you decide!

"So, without telling the fiance I asked her"

I'm sorry, but that is kind of going behind his back. I would of discussed this with him first. I would sit down with him, talk it out and come to a ompromise of some sort. And out of curiosity, who will be signing as your witnesses? You both need one.

Three ideas for you...

First, you have every right to change your mind about anything. Maybe how you let him know wasn't a way he received well, but that's part of learning and growing in a relationship. Maybe next time you can lead in with, "Honey, I have changed my mind and I do want a MOH...."

Second, because you want a MOH doesn't mean he has to have a BM. I'm having only MOH, but my FH is having both of his brothers stand with him and I don't mind one bit his two to my one. However, if you really want it to be symmetrical, then you could ask if he would like someone to stand with him (brother, sister, father, son, grandfather, nephew, cousin, best friend....) but if he chooses not to, then let it go.

Third, he doesn't have to have the title of Best Man, It could just be "Groom's Attendant."

You could say, "Honey, I really would prefer for both sides to be the same, so can you ask someone to stand with you?"

Not to worry - here's my suggestions --

Just so you know your BM and MOH are the people who will be "witnessing" and "signing" your marriage certificate.

Remind him of that -- who is important in both your lives that you would want to give this honor to? These two roles are important and should not be taken lightly. Yes, you made a mistake, but you realize that it's important to have two people represent the two of you. He does not need a BM. He could even have a sister, a cousin or an uncle - anyone over the age of 21 to represent him and sign the paperwork. This "seals" the deal and he would want, I am sure, a person he knows and trusts to do this honorable deed. It's the law. He has to pick someone whether he wants to or not.

Ok, so again with the behind his back thing, Im not feeling it... That makes it seem like I was being sneeky when it was never my intention... My MOH who is my sister in law and I were having a deeply emotional conversation one day cause there was a lot going on in both of our lives at the time and we have always had a close bond so with all the emotions of what was going on it came to me and it felt right. Out of everyone I know, she is the only one I feel truly deserves it... She was absolutely honored and completely blown away by the invitation as well. We had also already asked her and my brother to be our witnesses when we go to the courthouse to get the certificate... He is so set on not having anyone, saying no one he knows is worthy of the position. I feel his biggest issue is not having anyone who will put out the money for a tuxedo or at the same time anyone who can afford it. His dad surprised us though and came out to be fitted for a tux to match, so Im hoping he might have

Cont: his dad stand up there with him... Hes just so stubborn and hard headed about the situation... I personally just hate having to explain to people why he doesnt have a best man...

He doesn't has a brother to put in the place of BM?

You don't have to have a BM as a witness. Some states don't require witnesses at all. And in those that do, any guest can be a witness.

And I'm sorry, but there is no reason he has to have a BM. If anyone asks, it's because he didn't want one (which is, after all, the truth). You were the one who changed something that the two of you had agreed to. While I can understand your reasons, that doesn't give you the right to make him change, as well.

He doesnt have to have someone stand up there at all if he dont want. exactly like @2d bride said.

i have 5 girls all together and 1 of my fiances guys backed out and now he doesnt have any one else to pick so im just going to have 1 of the bridesmaids walk by herself. i wouldnt feel right telling 1 she cant be apart of my wedding because of the situation. everyone will talk no matter what the cause is dont let it get to you though hope it all works out

So, hopefully dilema solved... Since hes not gonna have anyone up there with him as his best man, we decided to have his mother and father walk down the aisle to represent him and then be seated behind him... Im still gonna have my MOH stand up there and she will be escorted by my brother in his Army dress blues... Im excited for that...

I like the idea of your brother escorting your SIL down the aisle and I don't agree with those that said you went behind his back its not like you decided to ask her and didn't tell him first , the way you explained is that it was a spur of the moment decision and I don't see anything wrong with that. As for him not wanting a best man that is up to him entirely and when anyone asks you ... you can simply tell them that "HE" decided not to have one... end of explanation you don't owe anyone anymore than that.

That sounds like a great solution.

Right?! Thats what I thought... So, now here it is 1 month before... Its all falling slowly into place and I couldnt be more thrilled... Except the EVIL FMIL!!!!!

I'm not sure if this helps, but my brother and his wife had decided not to have a wedding party because of all the drama as well. She and I are close, so I knew I would be helping out with some things and she had asked me to be her unofficial MOH. I had offered to throw a bachelorette party and I learned how to lace up her dress and fix the bustle for the day off (and helped her choose a dress). Helped her get ready and kept her calm before she walked down the aisle, made sure her train stayed in position and didn't get twisted during the ceremony. I felt really special to be a part of it but didn't make anyone feel out of sorts. Just an idea.

WELL I WAS GONNA SAY THAT IF SHE'S YOUR SIL THEN HAVE YOUR BROTHER ESCORT HER. THEREFORE ALL IS FAR IN LOVE AND WAR. BESIDES YOUR FH WILL HAVE HIS NEW BIL STANDING UP FOR HIM (UNLESS THEY DON'T GET ALONG)

Everyone gets along just fine... His thing is, he doesnt want anyone standing up there with him at all... Ive thrown out suggestions like his dad perhaps but hes just not having it... Now it kind of seems like hes doing it out of pure spite cause hes pissed I asked my sis in law... So, Im just going along with it at this point... If he all of a sudden changes his mind hey ok ill work with it... Everyne else is paying for their own tuxs and dresses so I dont understand why he wont just ask his dad or brother... or even just have my brother stand up there since they are our witnesses...