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Laura
Super September 2026

i have a favor to ask...

Laura, on March 13, 2020 at 12:31 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 13

In light of all of this talk about the virus, I hope that some have taken a long look at their views about elopement and weddings. That you can't call a wedding after an elopement a wedding and the other arguments that I have seen about this really need to be reconsidered. Each person who is debating a change to their dream wedding to a more simple family ceremony/courthouse/elopement should be able to understand why the wedding they always dreamed of matters too.

And maybe try to be a little more understanding about those who elope and have their wedding later too - and why they don't want to just call it a vow renewal. Maybe? Everyone who has eloped has either made this choice or felt compelled to do one thing when they wished for another. I say have your weddings and elopements. I've got your back. My favor is that I ask that others do too - and not give anyone grief about this.

Love to all.. Ours is June 27th and we just contacted our vendors. China is starting to open some stores and such again. Their first case was Nov 14th. So 4 months to the day (almost) they are starting to see some normalcy. There is hope. All will be well. Life goes on...

13 Comments

Latest activity by Laura, on March 13, 2020 at 6:07 PM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I agree. My friends did that and they still called theirs a wedding celebration because .. it is!!
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Not trying to argue with you AT ALL because I totally get your sentiment, but just saying the only “issue” with this is that if you have an elopement and THEN a “wedding” after, it’s implying that people who just eloped (and didn’t have a celebration after) didn’t have a wedding.


    Also just the fact that the term “wedding” literally means the act of getting married. Like if you throw a birthday party for yourself a month after your birthday, you still call it a birthday party but you don’t go around saying it’s your actual birthday, because that would be silly. Like I get if you elope and then have a celebration after, calling the party a “wedding celebration” but calling it a “wedding” is the same as saying “it’s my birthday” when it isn’t actually the day you were born... it’s just objectively wrong.

    THAT BEING SAID it really doesn’t matter all that much 😂 I would never attack someone who called a post-elopement celebration a “wedding.” However when women on here come asking for advice and they ask if it makes sense to call it a wedding, I would still advise them no, because personally it doesn’t make sense to me to call it that, and they asked for advice. Same as if someone said “I’m throwing myself a birthday party a month after my birthday, can I tell people it’s my birthday?” I’d advise them no lol, youd call it a birthday party, but not a “birthday.” But not like I’d jump down someone’s throat if they did it anyway. I’d just advise them not to if they asked, because imo it sounds silly since it’s just not true.

    I hope that made sense lol, and again I’m not trying to argue or criticize at all! Just trying to explain why I and some other people may reply that it’s better to call it a vow renewal or wedding celebration, not meaning to be critical but just to give advice when it’s asked for 🤷🏻‍♀️
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  • Laura
    Super September 2026
    Laura ·
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    I loved your response! I'd have no problem enjoying a birthday party on whatever day it fell. I think people are married when they feel they are married. I've said in previous posts there are different parts to being married - the legal paperwork, religious customs, personal needs, or whatever else a person deems they need to 'feel' married.

    Quakers still don't register their weddings with the state - they aren't living in sin. They are married. There are people who say vows alone in the woods. They are married. There are people who elope and do paperwork and have weddings later. They are married. In the old days people were hand-fasted for year and then had weddings - after. They were married too. There are LGBTQIA?+ couples that had ceremonies but marriage wasn't legal for them. They are married. Jewish couples have a ketubah ceremony, legal certificate, and wedding. They are married.

    I think each wedding and marriage should be what people want it to be and that others just shouldn't give them grief about it. Ultimately it really doesn't affect anyone else. If a person doesn't want to go celebrate the couple then they should stay home. But they shouldn't demand that someone refer to their choice of celebration as a party, renewal, do over, or whatever. Be glad they found love and dance to whatever drum they are beating and any and all ceremonies that go with that. Smiley heart

    I really think our definition of wedding needs expanded.

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  • Laura
    Super September 2026
    Laura ·
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    Smiley heart Smiley heart Smiley heart Represent!

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  • Laura
    Super September 2026
    Laura ·
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    I do hope that the giant rash of elopements with weddings to follow helps to move this conversation forward in a good way!

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  • Jeni
    Devoted July 2021
    Jeni ·
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    Totally agree!

    Let. People. Enjoy. Things.

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  • Shamaree
    Dedicated February 2020
    Shamaree ·
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    I always think about this. We all know you’re technically/legally married here when you do the paperwork and ceremony. However, I don't care what you call it or when you have it as it doesn’t affect me.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Wow, I wish WeddingWire had a “like” feature.
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  • Alisha
    Devoted August 2020
    Alisha ·
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    Appreciate your kindess in writing this message. I hope everyone get their dream wedding whatever that may be❤
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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    Agree with this 100%. It goes both ways. There is nothing wrong with getting married and having a celebration later, but you can't get married twice. And getting married at a courthouse is no less of a wedding.

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Hahaha right? 😝
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  • L
    Super October 2020
    Leslie ·
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    I would call it a wedding reception, wedding celebration, come join us to celebrate our marriage, any of above.

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  • Laura
    Super September 2026
    Laura ·
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    I would say you are invited to the wedding of.... Smiley smile

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