I hate to be a Debbie Downer or a Negative Nancy so help me see the positive (and let me cry to you)...

Well then we found out that baby-daddy's parents who are INSISTING they get married, also have said that they will not pay any money towards the wedding but are requiring the two of them to do pre-marital WITH THEM as their advisors or whatever you'd call them. WTF. Also, I just found out today that FS's sister has decided they WILL get married, they will do it soon, and she refuses to do something simple, cheap, and fast like a JOP or courthouse wedding. She wants something big and wonderful and happy just like all of the other family's weddings we've been to lately. However, she and baby-daddy have no money whatsoever. They don't even have enough money to get an apartment together...

So imagine my shock when I found out this morning that they are getting married September 18 of this year but also that FS family is paying for virtually ALL OF IT.

FS is talking to his parents this weekend about money and all that jazz but I am so feeling the "life isn't fair" crap today.

Grabbing popcorn... Who's got the soda's???

I hate that FS and I can work more than full time, be responsible adults, and decide to get married out of love and get hardly any monetary support... while his sister can work a part time minimum wage job, make bad life choices in ever aspect of her life, and get pregnant and have a shotgun wedding... AND IT'S ALL PAID FOR!!!

Ladies, help me find the positive in this! I need to smile and look at the bright side!

Lol, BK! That's the shortened version, I could go on and on if you've got enough popcorn!

Its usually how it goes so unfortunitly..I hate how things work out like that -_-..its like come on they are doing everything wrong and hello im overe here doing everything rite and they still get a cake walk..just not fair

I am here for you too girl...that totally sucks...One thing that I can say is you and fs will have the pride of saying you guys did this together and just made your bond stronger...

I got lots of soda.

I am so sorry. That blows. What a bitch! I know this is not what you want to hear, but be happy that you are marrying the man of your dreams, and not being forced into it (to probably end in divorce) because you are knocked up.

"FS and I can work more than full time, be responsible adults, and decide to get married out of love"

That's the positive side. Life just isn't fair and in so many different aspects for different people. BUT stay strong and keep your head up b/c you have a wonderful relationship and will have a wonderful marriage and that is something you can be proud of.

Maybe his family has enough money to go around? Hopefully? I see no positive in this and If I were your FS parents I would say hey look they have been together longer , more stable, your going to have to wait a few years if you want us to fund it. ( to his sister not you guys of coarse) I am on your side all the way!!!!

Munchin away... I have got all day and tons of popcorn!!!

5th star - just keep your eyes on your prize and know deep down that you will have put your whole being into your wedding while she will most likely sleep through her reception.... My money is on your wedding!!!

Oh honey thats just i'm speechless i have the soda if you wanna keep venting this is so not a good idea shotgun weddings are never a good idea ever

That sucks, but look at it this way, there is a baby involved, innocent life. If they are getting married, there is a good chance that they will stay together. It looks like they both need some stability in their lives, maybe FS family can provide that for them?

But I do understand your feelings too. I have few friends who don't work, move a lot, have unstable lives, and have TONS of kids. Everytime they have another baby, they ask me when it's my turn and why am I waiting so long. Ummmm I'm responsible, and I will want a better life for me and my future kids. I don't let them drag me down! So you shouldn't either!

I brought Hot Wings =) Yummy lol..... Yeah like Lavonne said Unfortunately thats how it is. My sister got married May 27, then now she wants a wedding (she wasnt pregnant when she got married) Her bf doesnt have a job, My Aunt offer to make the food (oviosly (sp?) they buy the food shell make it ) He got happy cuz he assumed she will buy the food. They do not want a little wedding like you said they want the whole enchilada lol.... And have no money for it. She was going to get married 2 weeks before me but got married this year. The way I saw it was that it was better for her to get married this year than next year. Life sometimes isnt fair , At the end gurlie youll have the satisfaction that you worked hard for your wedding =). I dont know if I made sence but i tried lol lol

It's already been said, but stay focused on you, your relationship and what's true for you. As long as your FS paying for the sister's wedding doesn't impact your own wedding (or your finances), then I wouldn't worry about it.

*sigh* Yup. Such is life. I think the parentals probably recognize that she is "special" and needs more help just to be on a still slanted playing field. It seems that the over-achievers (like yourself) are usually the ones that are ignored and left to take care fo themselves (since they know you can). Been that way with my bro and I our whole lives (me being the over achiever).

The positive is that you have your feet firmly planted and are more than prepared for life and a solid marriage. Can you say the same for them? Let them have their ONE day to shine, you have the rest of your lives to leave them in the dust and shine on.

You guys are too wonderful with all of your quick posting action! I'm afraid his family does not have enough money to go around simply because FSs grandma just passed and they have huge funeral fees from that. Plus, they're comfortable but not super plushy, rolling in the dough... that I know of.

I'll share the stories if you pass the soda, popcorn, and hot wings!! For example, since she sleeps so much and is always "sick" in bed so she can sleep more, how in the heck is she going to take care of a baby that's up every two hours!?!? I am not ready for a baby yet - I need to get used to married life before I try out husband-and-baby life! If I can't do it, how can she?! Not to mention the expectations that will come from her shower and the such - heck, I don't even want to buy her a pair of baby socks because I almost feel like it's rewarding/encouraging her behavior.

OH!!! And I was going to have to ask her to be in my bridal party. My mom keeps saying "family before friends" and saying that I will be glad I have family in my party when I look back. That's fine, but he has two sisters which mean I have both of them stand up and then only have my MOH (my bestie)...

I talked to his older sister to see what she thought of only having one sister stand up and she told me what I thought she'd say: either all or none. But I feel like FS-baby-rearing-sister isn't going to have the money for a dress, to help pay for the shower, all of the other expenses, etc. And then her parents would pay for it..... and I didn't want to put her or them in that position since I'm not really a fan of condoning what FS-baby-rearing-sister is doing.

Thats how i used to think when my FSIL got pregnant (17yr). But as time passes you grow out of those thoughts and you know everyone makes mistakes, And its always good to be supported even though you feel like slapping some sence into her =p

Yeah thats a good points she will just pon the baby off on the grandparnarets it sounds like b/c she is to "sick" to take care of it and throwing her a shower is like rewarding her bad behavior b/c this baby wasn't made out of love. i'm with you 100%

I've been trying to support her, really I have been. She's so dependant on her mom that all of the stuff I've been helping her with has gotten tossed away which makes me feel very unimportant and used. Everyone is enabling her and I know it's not my place to try and stop that, but it just goes so against who I am to look the other way.

Life's not fair!!!

However, you ladies are wonderful at looking at the bright side of the storm clouds. Analy, I am SO saving what you said about shining and whatnot. It may be what I have to think all day through her wedding. Let her have her day to shine and we can shine for the rest of our lives

I LOVE MY WW LADIES!!!