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Just Said Yes September 2018

i hate talking about my wedding plans!

Junebug, on December 25, 2017 at 7:22 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 13

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I'm a introvert, and I'm terrible at handling stress. My Steady and I are planning on eloping.

We've been engaged for a while, but he actually surprised me with a ring for Christmas.

Thing is, we both hate talking about our wedding plans, it makes my stress level so much worse. There's so much to do, and it's just something we want to take care of quietly and privately, just like our ceremony. My best friend freaking loves talking about wedding plans, and I'm nervous about how she'll react when she sees my ring. I'm dreading having to field a million questions that will cause a panic attack.

I know I'm weird, I've been a shy weirdo my whole life. I'd really like to tell her about my ring, but I don't want the conversation that follows. I know she's excited and happy for me. Should I just not say anything until we're married? That seems so rude. Either way, it seems so rude, but talking about it is so completely overwhelming, and I just want to make my plans one step at a time.

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13 Comments

Latest activity by Junebug, on December 29, 2017 at 10:07 AM

Expert October 2015
Rachel Langerhans · on December 25, 2017 at 7:28 PM
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I'm an introvert too

Just tell people that you're enjoying being engaged for now and having made any plans yet, and then change the subject. As time goes on, if you still don't want to talk about things, just say "we're still deciding on things" and change the subject. If people keep asking you, just be honest and say "I'd rather not talk about wedding plans" and change the subject.
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Master May 2018
Forestwed · on December 25, 2017 at 7:29 PM
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I would tell people about the engagement but as far as wedding plans you can say you’re eloping. FH and I are eloping. We’ve given general information when people ask but not specifics. No one has pressured us for more information. If she does say you’re keeping it between you and FH and the reason why. She should understand
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Master March 2018
Orchids · on December 25, 2017 at 8:28 PM
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I try not to talk about mine too, mostly because we're only inviting a few people and I don't want to hurt feelings. I try to keep it vague, and change the subject. I've heard it called the bean dip technique here "Oh yes, we have something in mind, have you tried this bean dip?"
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VIP September 2018
MrsRushinin2018 · on December 26, 2017 at 12:10 AM
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You can say that the engagement is so new you are just enjoyable no the engagement and haven’t started discussing wedding plans yet
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Master July 2018
Cuoghi · on December 26, 2017 at 2:28 AM
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I'm with you! Stop asking about my wedding plans people! I also kind of want some things to be a surprise to my family and friends.
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Expert October 2018
Robyn · on December 26, 2017 at 9:13 AM
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Two days after we got engaged the questions started for us. It's almost like everyone expects my wedding to be fully planned by now (got engaged December 11, 2017). Two days after the engagement I was being asked about the date, venue, caterers, cake, what time of day, who will be officiantong, how many people will be there, who will do my hair and make up, where will I be getting my dress from and more.
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Super January 2019
Sunshine · on December 26, 2017 at 9:19 AM
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I'd be honest with my best friend, tell her exactly what you told us. As for everyone else, tell them you haven't decided on anything yet and change the subject.
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Expert April 2018
FutureMrsHill · on December 26, 2017 at 9:23 AM
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I am an introvert, as well! I really wish people would stop asking me. Most mean well, but some are just nosy.
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Expert September 2018
catobx · on December 26, 2017 at 11:53 PM
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This is nothing to be ashamed of.

Have you ever heard of the Four Temperaments? I think it is essential for everyone on earth to take the test and figure their temperaments. From what you say my guess is yours is Melancholic. This is not a bad thing. I am Melancholic and Sanguine. So, for me, I can be extremely introverted and also extremely extroverted (quite a dichotomy). You don't have to apologize for your given temperament, it is something we are all born with. You can change a personality but you cannot change your temperament (which is how you deal with things in general - a natural disposition). Do what you feel is true to YOU. You don't have to share anything at all. In fact one of my old friends in HS recently got married and I had absolutely no idea she was even dating until she posted some wedding pics.

Here is a link to the temperament thing I am referring to - I learned of it thru my therapist who has literally changed my life in two months. Check it out. It is extremely informative and can help you understand why you feel the way you do.

http://psychologia.co/four-temperaments-test/
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Just Said Yes September 2018
Junebug · on December 29, 2017 at 9:22 AM
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I got choleric! Like 5 choleric, and 1 in every other category. After reading the description, it's really right on, I'm a person that plans a lot and I run a business.
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Just Said Yes September 2018
Junebug · on December 29, 2017 at 9:23 AM
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Thanks, everyone! It's really good to hear that I'm not the only one who feels this way. It definitely knocks the stress down a bit. :::deepsighodrelief:::
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Beginner September 2018
Shannon · on December 29, 2017 at 9:36 AM
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I completely understand how you feel. If it were up to me, we'd elope, but my fiancé and our families both really want us to have a wedding.

I told family and close friends that we got engaged, but weren't making any plans right away. It's okay to be engaged for a while without being pressured to make wedding decisions.

I haven't asked anyone to be a bridesmaid or maid of honor. Luckily, when I told my best friend (who loves wedding shows and sounds like your friend). She didn't pressure me at all to start planning a wedding, she just congratulated me and said that she's there to help.
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Just Said Yes September 2018
Junebug · on December 29, 2017 at 10:07 AM
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FH and I are horrible people that didn't tell his family that we're engaged! One of his friends wanted to elope, but as soon as they got engaged, their parents forced them into a wedding. His advice to FH was not to tell our families and just do it. So he hasn't told his family, but I told my mom because she gets it (she didn't even want to plan her own wedding).

You're so lucky! My bestie asked a million questions and then insisted she would dress up like Elvis to officiate (I did not ask or even hint at her officiating). This is why we're running away.
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