I hate our groomsmen's girlfriend

I would probably have your fiance handle it. Since he's closer to him than you are. Just explain that you're not comfortable with it. You'll probably have to deal with some of her wrath, but better now that at your wedding.

What mrs newvine said. talk to your finance about it and show him the texts, then have finance deal with the gm. im sure the gm will understand for the most part since they're always breaking up

I think you're gonna have to suck it up and expect her at the wedding.

My first course of action would be to block her on Facebook. I would tell your FH to address her actions with the GM. I don't think there is any reason you need to include her at your wedding as she has shown she cannot be reasonable and you don't need to deal with added drama (it sounds to me that even though she claims she will be civil, you can never tell what could cause her to "lose it" and you shouldn't have to spend your day worrying about it).

I did talk to my Fiance and i think he said something to his friend but I doubt he told him much of what happened- i think maybe he gave him a warning that something happened but didnt say everything. Like I said, the attacks occurred randomly over a period of time. Each time they had a fight or broke up, she would somehow blame me for it. Like for example- she sent me this SCATHING message when I was dogsitting his dog once while he was visiting his family in NJ. She sent me this crazyyyy message yelling at me for rubbing it in her face that he is out with a girl on a date because why else would i be watching the dog and that it was rude of me to be doing this. Another one was after the second time they broke up, he made an online dating profile and met some girls and went out on a few dates. One of the girls, he went out with a few times over the course of a few weeks. When she found out after they got back together she called me a liar and told me that it was crap that I didn't tell her he was seeing someone and that she was humiliated and I was a horrible person. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE WENT ON THESE DATES til she was yelling at me about it. it was never discussed and it wasn't my business, but yet, somehow it was my fault that he met other girls when they weren't together and I didn't tell her so that made me a liar.

My Fiance isn't one to get involved in the drama although he cant stand this girl. She didn't directly attack him to his face otherwise he would have done something (even though she said some pretty crazy things about him being complicit in our friends behavior while they were broken up which is also crazy- shes paranoid) so he feels that this is "my battle". Although they are obviously closer since they commute and work together and have been friends for a long time, his friend did live in our house for about 7 months and I have known him for years, so it's not like it is solely my Fiance's friend.

Also, I did block her on facebook. actually, she wasn't a facebook friend prior to the last blowout because she was deleted the last time they broke up. She has several fake pages she uses to stalk people that she has admitted to in writing (she used to stalk our friend's ex wife- she literally knew her every move) and that is also what she used to look at conversations between our mutual friends and her ex at the time.

The friends of mine that she has stalked and has a newfound hate for will all be at my wedding. I don't see why me, my fiance, and my friends that I actually want at my wedding should have to walk on eggshells to avoid her when shes made her feelings and delusions very clear.

She will start trouble. it's what she does- she can't control her crazy. She will start with anyone that she thinks even looked at her the wrong way and she will even fight with our friend in public over old things and anything she feels that he does wrong which she will probably say was my fault again. Why should I have to suck it up? I didn't do anything. I really had no feelings towards her and put up with and ignored a lot of shit from the very beginning because she just wasn't that important. I did everything to stay out of her way and I was nice to her and just said "yes" and agreed to everything even when I thought she was a raving lunatic just to not have to deal with the drama. I don't feel that it is fair that I have to "suck it up" on what should be such a happy day in my life. I know and LOVE everyone else that is coming. Why should I have to excuse this and invite that kind of negativity? it doesn't seem fair.

How far away is the wedding? They might be broken up by then (from the sounds of history) and it won't be a problem you'll have to deal with anyway.

If she's using fake pages on FB then just don't add her... or block them as they come up. I don't add anyone to FB unless I know who that person is. Just cut off communication with her completely.

The girl needs a therapist by the sounds of it.

Yeah, I'm hoping and almost certain they will be broken up by then (September), but I need to let him know that just in case that she is not welcome to anything wedding related or around me in general which sucks for him, but it is necessary for me to keep my sanity. I'm a super laid back person, and I let a ton of things go til this point, but i'm done playing nice and turning the other cheek to this nonsense. I didn't deserve it and I'm not going to tolerate it simply because she is f***ing my friend and feels entitled to control his life and those of the people around him. Its not my problem.

...And, I used to have my page open for people to see. I didn't add her fake pages, but because her regular page couldn't see anything, I'm certain she used her fake ones to see what was going on. Now, I've had to make my page unavailable to everyone other than people that are friends. It's sad I've had to go to extremes to deal with a grown woman that is insecure and delusional.

Tell your fiance to man up and make his groomsman talk to the girlfriend. She has to be on good behavior or she'll be "escorted out" as ToBeMrsM put it.

How do you type that much?!

And please change your avatar when you get a chance! We'll be able to find your posts more easily!

I'm sorry, but a long message on facebook when they got back together the other day, isn't me making a big deal about nothing. whatever issues she had with him while they were broken up didn't give this person a free reign to call me a bunch of horrible names and yell at me for CONVERSATIONS THAT OTHER PEOPLE were having while they weren't together. What pissed me off even more was the fact that after all of that she told me she would be "civil" at upcoming events because "she has to and because shes going to be around". UMMM WHAT? How do you say all of these crazy things to someone and then still assume you are still invited to be around them? Its CRAZY. And this isn't the first time any of this happened- like I explained. Everytime they have an argument or break up, she attacks me. He's in our wedding party, so there will be things coming up before the actual wedding that I absolutely do not want her to be a part of so yeah, excuse me for worrying about it now and not trying to deal with some wacko showing up and causing a scene- because she will.

First, block her from your FB page, and let your mutual friends know to do the same. Let your fiance handle this with his friend. He should let him know EVERYTHING that has happened.

BTW - restraining orders work very well

Uhm, I'm sorry, but it's high time that you curse this b**** out, and put her in her place. Then, block her on your phone, Facebook, etc. It's not your job to police anybody. It's also not your job to be "loyal" to her especially if you really were never THAT close to begin with. You owe her nothing of the sort. She's a loony tune. Run, run away.

Since it seems that this has GOTTEN WAY OUT OF CONTROL, I'd screw talking to the fiancee (and having him take care of this business), and I would approach the friend. Give him these emails/texts, etc. He needs to know who he is REALLY dealing with, and if I were that guy, I'd be embarrassed as CRAP that my ex had been contacting my friend's and their girlfriends ranting and raving about me.

Sorry, it's none of your business to hear this crap from her, and it's none of HER business as to what this guy is doing when they aren't together.

Also, about your wedding, you may not have a choice in the matter about who this particular groomsmen brings to your wedding. Sorry, but you can't police his choices. If he's smart, he'll say, "you know, since Looney Tune "Lilly" blew up on the bride, Lilly may not be the best choice as my plus one to her wedding." Maybe he'd bring another person, or be there solo.

I would say tell the GM, show him the messages she has sent you. It's not on you to fix this, it's up to him to deal with her. Let him know that she will not be allowed at/near the wedding or she will be escorted out.

Thanks ladies. I'm going to make it clear to my fiance that he needs to tell our friend everything and if he doesn't want to hear it or downplays what happened, we can forward him all the messages. I definitely do not want her at the wedding. I don't feel like people should be able to get away with these things and that everyone else should have to tip toe around them because of "etiquette" and not telling people who their plus ones should be. I normally would agree, but a plus one shouldn't make me upset on my day and I do think its a decision that should be up to me whether or not I want her there.

Hi ...

change your facebook settings to private (friends only) or whatever. everyone should do this, even if they don't have a crazy person sending them weird things. and yes, you should block her.

secondly... i wouldn't take you seriously if you forbid someone from attending your wedding that's not for another 7 months. if it's still an issue at that point, deal with it then. just ignore her in the mean time. also? she said she'd behave! that's a victory!

It's too early for you to worry about this issue. Deal with it when your invites go out. She sounds nuts but to be honest I think your GM should be allowed a date and you can't control who that is. Hopefully they will not be together at that point.

I would forward the messages to the friend, maybe it will be the push to stay broken up with her. Say somthing like I have asked so & so not to contact me about your personal life while you are "on breaks" but she has not listened, can you please ask her to stop.

Seriously, no reason to worry about this yet. Your wedding is forever away and so much could happen between now and then. If you send a save the day only address it to him and then approach this issue when/if it is a problem right before you send invitations.