K
Savvy September 2018

i hate all my engagement ring options

Kay, on August 2, 2018 at 1:24 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 19
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I am eloping to Vegas in a few weeks which I have always wanted but I still want (and was promised) a real proposal as opposed to our 3am “hey let’s go to Vegas!” Conversation. FH has told me to send him examples of things I want but unfortunatey I don’t like anything out there and because our time is so limited our budget is probably a third of what it normally would be. His idea is to pick something adequate now and then when we have more time design something or go to Tiffany’s. I am struggling because I don’t want to appear a diva but I don’t really care for anything out there and while Tiffany’s is nice their stuff is marked up, honestly all diamonds are, which I am disillusioned by and struggle letting him spend when normally I’m not materialistic at all. At the same time the ring is important to me and his ex already finds enough reasons to make snide comments about me to their kids and she spent 40 grand plus on their wedding alone and I don’t want to give her more ammunition. I have looked into buying a pre owned ring but I’m not really sure how I feel that either and have no idea what to do :/

19 Comments

Latest activity by Stacey, on August 5, 2018 at 12:22 PM
  • M
    Super October 2018
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Try not to allow his ex the power to affect your happiness. Their relationship did not last, regardless of her spending so much on the wedding.

    I suggest waiting to get a ring. I am also getting married in Vegas and won't have a ring because I am not sure what I want. I don't think having the ring at the wedding is important, it's about your love and commitment to each other ☺

    I hope that helps.
    • Reply
  • K
    Beginner September 2018
    Kiersten ·
    • Flag
    Have you looked at any rings without diamonds? The market is huge, so think about opals or rubies as your centerpiece stone
    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag

    If you are unsure of what you want now and don't want to spend too much on diamonds, have you considered just getting a cubic zirconia ring and then upgrading to a real diamond once you figure out what you want/can save up more money? My FH wanted me to pick out my diamond ring so he proposed with a cubic zirconia ring that he bought at Macy's for $40. About a month later we picked out the real diamond ring together.


    You could also consider stones other than diamonds! Opals are really nice, and my cousin has a sapphire engagement ring that she loves.

    • Reply
  • Happily Ever Mrs. H
    VIP October 2018
    Happily Ever Mrs. H ·
    • Flag

    I understand you're frustration, moreso with your feelings on diamonds. They're not rare, and they are incredibly marked up for profit, and worth less than half if you resell it the second you buy it. For those reasons, I didn't want one. I would look into alternatives! I custom-made my own engagement ring with morganite and white sapphires. NO ONE could tell they weren't diamonds! And what really matters most? Having people know they're real, or saving the money?

    My engagement ring was very affordable, literally less than half than a friend of mine's who has all real diamonds.

    Besides, it's not what stones you choose, or how expensive you ring was, it's what the ring symbolizes, which is his commitment to you. That's ALL that really matters!

    • Reply
  • Katie
    Dedicated November 2020
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    For now, i would say do a gem stone or moissanite. check out things like james allen (that’s where my FH designed my ring and he got it within two weeks of ordering!), blue nile, or brilliant earth. i personally hated everything at chains (kay’s, helzberg, so on so forth) and he got a fantastic ring from james allen
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    What kind of ring are you looking for? I'd look at Etsy too. As long as you like the ring, that should be all you care about! His ex is his ex for a reason, she can say whatever she wants, he isn't her husband anymore, he's yours! I looked at a local jewelry store that was much cheaper than places like Zales, and found a beautiful antique design I loved.

    • Reply
  • Future Mrs. Petro
    Devoted November 2018
    Future Mrs. Petro ·
    • Flag
    If you want a sizable diamond but don't want to spend a lot of money have you thought about a raw diamond. Personally I think they are really beautiful and unique
    • Reply
  • emcknight1517
    Super April 2018
    emcknight1517 ·
    • Flag

    I got my band from Local Eclectic. They have awesome and unique ring sets (and individual rings) for as low as $55, but they seem pretty durable and they ship out pretty quickly. They're definitely not traditional, but if anything, they make for beautiful temporary rings.

    (And yeah, ignore his ex. You and your FH's relationship is the only thing that matters now.)

    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag

    Why not an inexpensive band for now? No need to rush this--you'll want to find a ring you'll LOVE to wear everyday. My hubby proposed with a temp band I wore for six months until we had the time to go ring shopping (we went to several stores because I wanted to be confident I was making the right decision!). I only wanted 1 ring (2 rings together look too clunky on my fingers)--so I was debating between a fancy band or e-ring (went with e-ring). Happy I took time to look.

    • Reply
  • Tara
    Master September 2018
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    We got mine on etsy for less than $400. Its a moissanite and will last forever. Only took 3 weeks but most shops on there let you request expedited delivery

    i hate all my engagement ring options 1
    • Reply
  • Tara
    Master September 2018
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    Here some with better/different lighting. Anyways etsy has soo many shops with any style you can think of just make sure to read reviews ans such. Good luck

    i hate all my engagement ring options 2

    i hate all my engagement ring options 3
    • Reply
  • HayMrsO
    Master October 2018
    HayMrsO ·
    • Flag

    What style are you looking for? I was very picky...I wanted rose gold, I DID NOT want a halo (which 90% of what you see where we live are). I wanted the center stone to sit high, but not have the cathedral look that is also popular. And I wanted a cushion cut diamond. Which apparently, is not too popular either.

    We went to a local jeweler and basically, had my ring made. I found a band I loved, they brought out numerous diamonds and different "heads" they could use to set them and we had a ring in less than a week. I was shocked at how great they were to work with and that the prices were comparable to online.

    If money is an issue, consider a moissanite. You can always upgrade later.

    • Reply
  • Mrs Sullivan
    Expert June 2019
    Mrs Sullivan ·
    • Flag

    I would go to a custom jeweler together and design the ring. That way you can incorporate both of you in it and it is 100% unique. Otherwise, maybe check out vintage and antique rings. A lot of the rings that you can get from jewelers that sell them are so unique and not like anything you see today.

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Dedicated May 2018
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    I don't think you should buy something expensive if it's just temporary. I would go with something fun like a Qalo silicone band, or let your fiance pick something out for under $200. You also don't need to share it on social media if you don't want his ex to see it. You can share your custom designed ring when that's done.

    • Reply
  • M
    Expert September 2018
    M ·
    • Flag
    Not too question your elopement but is there a reason for the rush?
    • Reply
  • K
    Savvy September 2018
    Kay ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I have always wanted to be a Vegas bride and there are kids from a previous relationship in the mix too.
    • Reply
  • M
    Expert September 2018
    M ·
    • Flag
    I see. Nothing wrong with it, but the" lets go to Vegas at 3am" threw up a flag like maybe this is a rushed and not thought through entirely.
    My FH got mine on etsy, the shop name is NirOliva. I loved it. I prefer a more simple ring and I personally think his items are beautiful. It's not clear to me what you're looking for in style. Do you not like the rings because of their cost or because of the design? She's going to say what she wants but try to disregard the ex.
    • Reply
  • V
    Super April 2019
    Valerie ·
    • Flag

    For now, I'd do a small ring to try out styles not with a diamond. My FH and I built my ring on James Allen, and the entire process was super simple and when we had the ring appraised afterwards at the local shop it appraised for almost triple of what we bought it for.

    • Reply
  • Stacey
    Super October 2018
    Stacey ·
    • Flag

    I second Brilliant Earth. FH designed mine with them and they were great. They have a wide range of bands/styles to choose from and you can customize the setting and diamond shape. I wanted a vintage look and they did an awesome job. When we were looking for wedding bands we actually chose Art Deco bands from a vintage jeweler and it matches my ring perfectly, you would never know one is real vintage and one is just designed to look it! lol. They have showrooms in a few different states, if you have the chance to visit one it's fun and the associates are great to work with! Side note: FH changed his mind twice about the bands he ordered and both times they sent them back and exchanged them ASAP. Another option as PP's suggested is to go with something other than a diamond. Sapphires, rubies, etc are gorgeous and unique!

    • Reply

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