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BCG
Beginner October 2021

i go by a last name that isn’t my legal name. Help!

BCG, on March 30, 2020 at 5:11 PM Posted in Planning 0 8
Hey there!
So, FH and I are super excited as we just put in the deposit for our venue and now we’re looking into ordering our Save the Dates and Invitations.
However, something I didn’t think about until right now is that I’ve gone by a different last name from my legal one for a few years now. My father was not great, and having his last name hurt me in a lot of ways. I knew me and FH were probably going to get married within a few years, so I decided to just start going by my mothers maiden name instead of going through the hassle of changing it legally.I go by that last name socially, on all social media and basically anything that will allow me to. I’m not inviting anyone from my dads family to the wedding (I’m just not close to any of them). It seems like it’s customary to have the bride and groom’s full name on the invitation. I don’t really know what to do. Most people know I used to go by a different last name and now I don’t, but I’m not sure which one I should put on the invite. On the wedding contract and any other legally binding stuff, I put my legal last name. I really do hate that last name. Can I use my middle name instead? I don’t like that one much either but I prefer it over my last name.

8 Comments

  • Clarissa
    Super October 2021
    Clarissa ·
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    Just use the last name you go by. As long as it’s not on a legally binding document it doesn’t matter.
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I think it’s fine to use your middle names! I’ve seen invitations where the couple only uses their first and middle names anyway.
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  • Brittany
    Dedicated March 2021
    Brittany ·
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    I would just use the last name your comfortable with especially if its what your known by socially . Your venue and vendors should be willing to work with you as long as all the contracts are signed with your legal name. Your last name is changing anyway so what does it matter what your real last name is?

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  • Jeni
    Devoted July 2021
    Jeni ·
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    I received an invitation a couple of weeks ago that only had the couple's first names. And it was a super cute invite! Don't feel obligated to follow any tradition that doesn't suit you. Whatever name you use or don't use will be perfect.
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  • Courtney
    Super September 2019
    Courtney ·
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    Use whatever name you’re comfortable with on the non legal stuff. Either your chosen last name, just first and middle etc. Whatever works for you!
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Why not just use the name you go by?
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  • M
    Expert October 2021
    Megan ·
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    If you're just talking about invites and wedding signs, it's totally cool to go by the last name you usually go by nowadays.

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  • VIP November 2021
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    Legal documents obv use the legal name but other than that use eater you are comfortable with— for our wedding STD , invites etc we are using our first and middle names only
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