LaLa
Devoted October 2019

i Forgot Something Really Important ... (what else is new)

LaLa, on August 29, 2019 at 12:23 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 14
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I feel like everything is going wrong lately. I swear wedding planning has changed me into a scatterbrained person. I have so much going on with work, wedding planning, traveling, and paying off debt. When I get overwhelmed I'm all over the place, I can't focus.

I FORGOT MY FH'S BIRTHDAY WAS YESTERDAY. Not to mention it was a milestone birthday. I didn't get him a card, a present, or even say Happy Birthday. I was making dinner and he said sarcastically "Oh birthday burgers". That's when my eyes went wide, and I said oh sh**, because yep, I totally forgot. I've never been good with remembering dates, or cared that much about holidays. However I have never forgotten his birthday, Valentines Day, or even Father's Day before. It's honestly because I have so much on my plate. The past two weeks I've been panicking at work because I've been trying to secure a last minute move which has depleted my energy levels from the stress.

He wasn't mad, but of course someone would be hurt deep down when your own fiancé forgets your birthday. I cried last night, and I woke up this morning crying still feeling guilty. I'm the worst fiancé ever. Might as well call off the wedding at this point since I forgot his birthday lol. I even called my sister yesterday after work and was like "I have anxiety because I feel like I'm forgetting something??" Well now I know what it was.

I'm feeling like I just want life to go back to normal and be done with everything wedding. I can't handle the pressure of wedding and work, and it makes me forgot important things. I'm trying to get over it but I keep crying, I feel like a piece of crap. I am the most horrible person on earth. I might get him a cake tonight, but it almost seems pointless. What would you do?

Smiley sad


(Edit: Every time I start my post with an "I", it changes it to a lowercase "i". Sorry it's annoying lol)

14 Comments

Latest activity by Ivy ORP, on August 29, 2019 at 2:47 PM
  • Lauren
    VIP September 2019
    Lauren ·
    • Flag

    He probably understands that you have so much on your plate. He has probably already forgiven you. If you have a spare moment maybe make a reservation for this weekend at a restaurant and invite a few friends. Make it a surprise!

    In the future when he forgets an anniversary you can let him off the hook, no hard feelings.

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  • Paula
    Super September 2019
    Paula ·
    • Flag
    I'm sure he knows how much is on your plate right now with work, wedding etc. How about still doing a late celebration? Take him out to do something he loves or make him a special dinner and still get a bday cake. I'm sure he would appreciate it
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    That's totally ok ! You can make it up to him Smiley winking maybe take a day to spend with him doing stuff he loves for his belated bday! Bdays don't have to be celebrated on the day of, you can drag out the celebration.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    VIP October 2020
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    A belated birthday is absolutely better than no birthday at all. Forgive yourself and move on. But plan something really special for him so he’ll feel loved.
    • Reply
  • Susan
    Dedicated May 2020
    Susan ·
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry! You seem like a worrier like me. Not one of my best qualities. My FH would just blow it off and not worry about it. We do little things for each other all throughout the year, so I know he loves me and he knows I love him. Just a small gesture would be nice. Maybe a handmade card or maybe even something made out of one of his/your favorite pictures of the 2 of you. My FH surprises me with personal things all the time, and I guess I do the same. I have made a puzzle out of our picture, and had our engagement picture and a stepping he gave me ,professing his love, on metal. It's pretty nice. He had a keychain made with a calendar page showing our wedding date and a little tag that said "hello lovely." He has texted me that since we first started dating. But really, I'm sure it has no affect on how he feels about you.

    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Super October 2019
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    I know how you feel. My FH & I always orders very elaborate cakes for each other. There has been drums, a replicable of my dog, working out, Photo cakes etc. His birthday is on Monday & yesterday I told him that we will just go to the bakery on Saturday & he can pick out his own cake from stock. He was like - wow, we are already behaving like a married couple already. The wedding is 44x days away & I’m so burnt out from planning, I physically can’t plan anything else.
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Super September 2020
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    If my birthday wasn't the same day as my FH, I'd probably have done this and felt similarly. Definitely second the PP suggestion with a surprise outing.
    • Reply
  • LaLa
    Devoted October 2019
    LaLa ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    We are almost date twins, we are 43 days out! I'm feeling the same way, glad I'm not the only one who's burnt out. I think that has a lot to do with why I'm forgetting things. Not making an excuse but I'm not a normal person, I'm an anxiety basket case! lol.

    • Reply
  • LaLa
    Devoted October 2019
    LaLa ·
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    I'm definitely a big worrier to the point I make myself sick with stress lol. He pretty much blew it off, but I'm feeling guilty still. I love all those ideas, I'll have to figure out something.

    • Reply
  • Susan
    Dedicated May 2020
    Susan ·
    • Flag

    I stress way too much and also am on medication. He just always tells me it's not that important. Just try to remember that.

    • Reply
  • LaLa
    Devoted October 2019
    LaLa ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Sadly I'll be out of town this weekend, so my only chance to do something really is tonight. I probably only have time to get a cake lol.

    Next year I'm going to have to throw the most grand birthday bash for him to make up for my stupidity lol. Smiley xd

    • Reply
  • S
    Expert October 2019
    Sara ·
    • Flag
    Oh no! Girl I totally get it. This past Saturday was my bachelorette party, Sunday was our shower, and Tuesday was my FH’s bday too. We decided ahead of time to celebrate Monday because I was off work and he had to work on his actual bday, but Sunday night he’s like “so what are our plans for tomorrow” and I’m like “uhhhhh ya know let me check the weather because that’s gonna determine what we do for sure.” We also typical get each other house stuff for bdays, but being right after the shower there was literally nothing we needed and no more room in our apartment. He was understanding though and we had a good day. I went to the grocery store early and got some stuff I knew he’d like. Wedding planning is crazy and it causes us to do stupid things 🤷🏻‍♀️
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Super October 2019
    Kelly ·
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    I can completely relate & don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m usually so on top of things. I was late for an appt yesterday morning, wrote down the wrong time for my seamstress appt. today. Everything somehow worked out tho.
    • Reply
  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
    • Flag

    You are not the most horrible person on earth! If you were, you wouldn't care that you forgot. I'm sure he actually does understand the stress made you forget, even he is a little hurt about it. I would plan something for the next day you both have off. Give him a superdate. Nothing overly expensive (Groupon was my bestie when I did this) but activities he likes and places he likes to go. You can literally make it anything he would like, baseball game, picnic with a bottle of wine, anything and make a day of it. Even though it involves a bit of planning, it could be fun for you to take a break from anything wedding related and spoil him for a bit.

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