Rant, apologies ahead of time.
So my fiancé’s grandma isn’t doing well. She’s declining fast and the doctors are giving her less then a month. It’s upset yes but I’m weird with death, always have been due to my dad being military and never knowing if he’s gonna come home from deployment. Losing my baby brothers from them being 4 months premature among having multiple other complications as well. I was a caregiver for 3 years and have had to see my residents pass and clean up their bodies. I can handle death, it’s a part of life but I understand that others can’t or handle it very differently.
Don’t get me wrong I know if my mom or dad passed or some one else is extremely close to passes I’ll break down and grieve.
Now Cameron(Fiancé.) is very upset that she’s passing even though this grandma(his step dads mom.) never treated him like family till later. He was at the will reading apparently isn’t even in her will, she’s the type that blood is family only. He said he was upset but understood and apparently she told him she does have something(s?) for him. He was with her most of his day off to help her with going to the hospital and such. She’s declined so much she can’t even assist with standing long enough to transfer her to her wheelchair. Maybe two weeks ago she could put pressure on her legs to transfer...
Cameron’s mom is... an interesting person. She has a lot of health issues. She’s on a truck load of opioids. Highly addictive of corse since those usually are but the issue is she’s on such high doses and takes them every 2-4 hours. She finally tried some pot stuff(if I remember right she got a tincture and a edible/drink thing.) supposedly it’s helping when she uses them and is taking less meds(Yay!) but her mood swings are getting worse even before that. I understand when getting off addictive meds you have withdrawals. I expect it. It seems her grief reaction is aggressive/blaming the one passing. She told Cameron he shouldn’t be so upset because grandma wasn’t always nice to him and never treated him like family etc. bringing up stuff that happened years ago and so on. He understandably was upset with her but that law thing that astounds me is his mom would call his step dad and exaggerate what his grandma was doing. Example being when being transferred she’s understandably be in pain and yell or cry. His mom told his step dad that she was screaming at the caregivers and them and being super rude. :/ grandma is in pain and probably extremely scared because she’s told she’s dying.
What actually upsets me, because I know I can’t do much to help with grieving other then being here for Cameron, is that his mom is going after our wedding now. She told me the first time I hung out with her she’s not a fan of mine.
Her reasoning?
-I called myself a lesbian for a while because all the guys I got attention from just wanted a one night stand or didn’t want a relationship. So saying I was only interested in woman helped me focus on my job(s) and college. So I’m Obviously 🙄 going to dump him when I get bored with him and just go back to dating girls....
-we are rushing it! Ma’am we have been friends since high school(about 7/8 years now.) and we started dating after knowing what we want in a relationship and have talked in Great detail about what we want in life etc. Our values match up and what we want in life match up.
-we have a lack of intimacy..... 🤬🤬🤬 Excuse me??? First of all she doesn’t know how intimate we are. I hope she doesn’t know our sex life.... Cameron is not a touch person, which is fine with me. As long as I can hold his hand in public I’m happy or a hug/kiss every now and then in public is fine and he obliges me. He’s not much of a cuddle person either and I’m fine with that as well because if I Want To Cuddle I tell him or I walk over to where he’s sitting and hold out my arms like a child and do grabby hands. He’ll cuddle for a while and if he feels uncomfortable he’ll let me know(I put off a lot of body heat even if I feel cold myself). My parents are like that too. My mom is not a cuddle person unless she is in the moody to be cuddly. My dad is like me and is a cuddly person. But they make it work! So not a issue!!!
-she’s commenting on the pagan/Nordic practices I want in the wedding that Cameron has agreed with and likes. It’s. Not. Her. Wedding!!! It’s our wedding and we will do what we want cause it’s our day. I’m not having any casting or invocation or anything like that. Just hand tying, some candle stuff and maybe a general comment on the ceremony being open to any and all deity’s present. Ironically the colors we want for the wedding are Nordic and didn’t know that till I was looking for things we could incorporate. I’ve wanted hand tying for years because you can use all your colors in the cord and I like it more then just the ring exchange. Cameron wants mead served because it’s a toast to the gods as well as being Freyja’s drink(I personally don’t like the taste of mead/beer etc. so I’ll have wine or something.) but it’s just incorporating things not a full casting and group event.
-lastly she made the comment that he’s abandoning her and so is his little brother cause he’s graduating high school and already planning on moving out. CAMERON IS AN ADULT. He’s living his life which means he will move away possibly, he will start his own family, etc. she’s trying to guilt him into staying her ‘baby’.
What pisses me off is she told me the day I hung out with her for the first time that she and him have a special relationship because they have been through so much together etc. I understand that she was a single mom after an abusive relationship with an Bad divorce and a lot of hardship. I know that is hard on people and other hardships in life can change peoples relationships. But using her Son as a counselor and calling him instead of the counselor she has the personal number for when she’s feeling suicidal and or actively contemplating On A Bridge. Having Your Own Child Talk You Down At The Age Of 14/15 Is Not Healthy!
He told me he basically had to be an adult for the both of them at the age of 9/10 even after she got remarried.
I want Cameron to see the unhealthy cling she has towards him and I think he finally is slowly seeing it. I understand that since she’s been in pain and has been on all the meds she’s on she’s not the same nice woman she used to be and so on but damn. If she is gonna try and hold on to him and get upset when we are married and possibly in the military(he’s been thinking on and off of joining and same with me.) she can’t have him on call for everything. We won’t be able to come to her beck and call when we are not here in this city.
I’m sorry but not at the same time and idk if I’m an jerk(can’t swear) or not
