Mikaela
Beginner October 2018

I Don't Want to Wedding Dress Shop! :(

Mikaela, on Dec 5, 2017 at 4:54 PM Posted in Fitness and Health

My wedding is in 311 days, and I have not gone wedding dress shopping yet! My mother keeps pestering me about going ASAP, but I just can't bring myself to want to begin the dress hunt. I've been overweight my entire life, and getting engaged back in April finally gave me the motivation I needed to get healthy, although I am still a very long way from where I would like to be. Although I hate how thick my legs are, how big my booty is, and how big my tummy is.... my arms are the real killer. I hate my arms so much and I just feel like I'll hate every single dress I try on because of them (and no... I don't want a gown with sleeves or a shawl). I told my mom that when she hassles me about dress shopping, but she doesn't get it. What can I do to get excited and feel confident for dress shopping? (And are there any solid work out tips for toning arms at home using free weights and a medicine ball?) Thanks WW Community!

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28 Comments

  • Sarah
    Beginner July 2018
    Sarah ·

    I certainly wasn't in the shape I wanted to be in when I went dress shopping, and I hate my arms too. When I put on the dress I bought, everything I disliked about myself went away and I felt totally beautiful - arms and all! If it's the dress for you, you'll feel gorgeous regardless.

  • happeningmom ·

    Look on line and find some exercises for the areas you wish to tone. If you are unhappy with your body then only you can change that. Also, as a full figure girl, I so get not wanting to go shopping but you need to start now. Depending on the dress it could take 4-8 months to come in. I would hate for you to fall in love with a dress and not be able to get it. Also realize that the dress will be fitted for YOUR body and can be taken in to accentuate the areas you want and camouflage the areas you are unhappy with. As for the arm area find a dress with straps or a sweetheart neckline and then when it comes time for the alterations you can add sleeves if you decide you want to. I don't think you will as you sound motivated. Good luck!

  • mataDC
    Devoted September 2017
    mataDC ·

    6-8 months should be enough for most dresses/alterations. How about trying pole dancing? Fantastic arms workout and it makes you feel sexy too I had a number of thicke girls in my classes, and they didn't let their weight slow their roll

  • Chantelle
    Devoted September 2018
    Chantelle ·

    Sorry you're feeling that way! Remember when it comes to weight loss , the majority of your progress comes from diet. Eating clean (mostly paleo, unprocessed foods) and drinking a lot of water is key in my opinion. As for working out, you can't spot reduce fat. A well rounded workout routine will yeild the best results. Find something you enjoy doing. You don't have to run 10 miles a day if you don't like running. Try interval training with weights added in. Make sure you're hitting all muscle groups. If you start at say, 3 days a week, try doing 20 mins of interval training (30 seconds of sprints, 30 seconds to 1 min of walking for 20 mins), then a lower body lifting day, chest/shoulders/upper back day, and a bicep/tricep/lower back day.

  • J
    Savvy October 2018
    jcdb ·

    I was not looking forward to dress shopping either. I finally bit the bullet and went to my first shop last Saturday and honestly I can not wait to go back to a different shop this weekend to keep looking. It was way more enjoyable than I thought it would be.

    I would recommend going with one of your closest friends or family members first. Less pressure. Just go try some stuff on and don't stress about finding the dress. After you get an idea of the type of dress you think you like on your body, go back with any one else you want to be a part of the process.

    I am not happy with the current state of my body either and I was pleasantly surprised with how flattering some of the dresses looked on my shape. I bet you will be too.

    Good luck!

  • ThePeoplesBride
    Super October 2019
    ThePeoplesBride ·

    Let me tell you, I am a big girl. Nothing about me is little or skinny. I also wasn't looking forward to dress shopping because just clothes shopping in general is disappointing. But I saw it more as an experience that I could have with my mom and a few of my close friends more than anything else.

    I went to David's Bridal where they have a real great plus size selection. I was pleasantly surprised at the fit of the dresses and how they made my problem areas (especially my tummy) practically nonexistent. There plenty of dresses with sleeves that actually fit my arms.

    It was a great time with my mom especially. We are in the process of rebuilding our relationship and dress shopping brought us closer, surprisingly. I suggest just going and trying to make the most of it. You never know!

  • RustyTheDog
    Dedicated December 2017
    RustyTheDog ·

    Keep in mind also that I don't think anyone is ever 100% happy with their body. We all have things we wish we'd change. Your gym happiness at marrying the love of your life gives a bride her beauty, not her dress size!

  • Future Mrs. G
    VIP February 2018
    Future Mrs. G ·

    Just like you're afraid of trying on dresses because of how you think you'll look, try to see it from the other end as well. You will be surprised how beautiful you feel once you find one you love. Not that you shouldn't already feel that way about yourself anyway. I felt down because I gained weight and I'm very busty and I was already crossing things off the list before I tried it because I thought I'd feel like I hated my body and I didn't want that. And surprise surprise I ended up with something that hugs my body just perfectly and I am so in love with it and how I look in it. More importantly how I feel in it. I feel beautiful In it and it's a feeling no one can take from me. We are always our own worst critics. Give yourself a chance to find that dress that makes you say "I'm beautiful as fuckkkk".

  • Whitney
    Dedicated June 2018
    Whitney ·

    I'm sorry you're feeling so down on yourself. I'm a plus size bride. I have been trying really hard to focus on body positivity. I can be my own worst critic, but my FH loves me the way I am. I'm sure your FS does too. See if there is a shop in your area that has plus size samples. That helped me a lot. If you want to lose weight, that's awesome, but you will be beautiful in a wedding dress no matter what!

  • Mikaela
    Beginner October 2018
    Mikaela ·

    WOW! Thank you all for your responses! I already feel way more excited about finding a dress! Yay for a supportive online community! I think I'll finally make an appointment to try on some dresses in January

  • W
    Just Said Yes April 2018
    Whitney ·

    I don't think you need to be in a huge rush.. my wedding is in April and I just went dress shopping today. It will be in in January, and they told me I could get alternations up until late feb/early March (I plan on losing weight between now and then too)

  • Constance
    VIP October 2017
    Constance ·

    Yay! OP! Bring people who encourage you and see how beautiful you are! Try anything and everything, and let your stylist pull some out-of-the-box styles for you. Enjoy this experience and believe that you are beautiful!

  • Audrey
    Dedicated October 2018
    Audrey ·

    Girl. I'm the same way. Everyone keeps asking if I went yet, and I honestly don't want to. I don't want to go with anybody. I hate when people dote (spelling?!) over me. I know during the wedding I'll be the center of attention, but at least FH can help me there. Ugh. Dress shopping won't be fun.

  • C
    Dedicated January 2018
    Catherine ·

    My wedding is in 17 days and I got my dress a week ago. You have time lol

  • Neidy
    Beginner August 2019
    Neidy ·

    Look at your hand. Do you see that ring? That man already thinks you are thee most beautiful woman alive. Keep that in mind when you go dress shopping. And try going dress shopping alone a couple of times. Find out what you feel great in and that will give you a boost when you bring your mom. Then, stick to your guns. Moms want to dress their little girls for their wedding. But now, you have to decide. And when in doubt, look back down at your ring, that man of yours loves every curve!

  • Kristen
    Savvy March 2018
    Kristen ·

    I was right there with you! Before I went dress shopping, like weeks before, I began to flip the script in my head...I talked lovingly to myself and to my body; I focused on what I did like and I reminded myself that my fiance loves me for me, from my head to my toes. The more I've worked on my body image from the inside out (and I love to work out so I am doing that), the more I was ready to go look at wedding dresses.

    As far as dress shopping, it wasn't at all the horrible experience that I'd built it up in my head to be. In fact, it was lovely and all the stuff I don't like about my body faded away when I put on dresses. I can't explain it. One of the things I did was to go to a plus size-specific shop. They were so helpful and made me feel special and beautiful. If you can do that, I highly recommend it.

    Good luck! No doubt you are and you will be beautiful!

  • Elayna
    Devoted June 2018
    Elayna ·

    My wedding is in 180... I haven't even tried one on. I am totally dreading it.

  • Orchids
    Master March 2018
    Orchids ·

    I don't know if this will be possible since your mom is on your case about it, but going by myself was ideal for me. I could take the time I wanted with the dresses I wanted to spend more time in, and get right out of the ones I hated without anyone else's input.

    I get where you're coming from though...my exH left me in large part because of my weight and it has really messed with my head when it comes to clothes shopping. Still though, when I found my dress I felt so gorgeous! I hope you're able to post up some pics of you feeling awesome in your dress soon!

  • BabsandBear
    Devoted October 2018
    BabsandBear ·

    I was really afraid to start trying on dresses and even was down on myself about the sizing of the dresses. But when you find one that fits you right, you'll shine! Confidence is more noticeable than what size you are. Have fun with it! Also I ordered a dress size down as a motivation to lose weight, lol risky but now I have a good reason to lose weight.

  • C
    Dedicated December 2018
    Courtney ·
    MEdicine ball slams are GReAT for arms! Front plate raises, tricep extensions, lateral dumbbell raises. That being said, diet is 80% of the battle. I compete in fitness competitions throughout the years, but when I’m not competing, i won’t even let FH see me in anything revealing because I’m much heavier than when I felt I looked my best and I am so self conscious. Before that, my parents told me they weren’t sure how FH could be proud of me because of the way I looked. He IS proud of me, and loves me in every form. My point is, we all have moments where we hate our bodies. Focus on the things YOU love about your body, and what your fiancé loves about your body. Pick dresses that accent those features that you both love.

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