I don't want my dad to walk me

I think that's overall going to be a hard conversation but if you truly feel that way it needs to happen.... just tell him how you feel. But understand that he may reject going to your wedding all together. Will you be okay with this?

Maybe you can have your mom walk you and dance with your dad?

Hope this helps

Would you consider walking down with both? My mom was the one who raised me and I feel like she should 100% be the one to do it. But... I didn't want to hurt my dads feelings as I'm his only daughter and didn't want to take that away from him. He's my dad I love him but our relationship has always been rocky. So I decided they both can. I thought it might be awkward but looked up some pictures online and they are gorgeous. But do what's best for you!

I walk in down with both my parents. My mom raised me too. If you don't want your dad to walk you down the aisle at all, just have your mom do it and have the tough conversation with your dad.

I felt the same way. In the end I decided to just let him do it, because it was clearly so incredibly important to him. I was just going to walk by myself though, so it's not quite the same as your situation.

It's sticky, but compare the drama he could cause about it to having to endure walking next to him for a minute. If the drama is worth not having him do it, then don't have him do it. I decided I'd rather not have anything to worry about.

I have an absentee father myself and my mother will be walking me down the aisle. She earned that honor and is the only who who I deserves it. For me, it wasn't about punishing my father at all, but rather honoring my mother and sharing that special walk with her. My dad actually won't be coming to my wedding at all now, but that's a different story.

Don't let him bully you into allowing him the honor of walking you down the aisle. Just tell him straight up that it will be your mother. if he throws a fit, tell him that this isn't about punishing him, and that you are an adult and can make your own choices. If he can't handle that, he doesn't have to come at all.

Ugh I'm sorry to hear that! Well I think to keep the awkwardness aside & the arguments and ruining your special day..; you may have them both walk you! And you do not have to deal with "the talk" as of right now! you're under a lot of stress right now and emotions can be high at this point ! I wish you the best luck you can talk to him after your wedding is done and over with if you feel the need! And tell him why you chose to do it that way ( both walking you) I mean..

I don't think you're being intentionally hurtful, it sounds like this is really how you feel and your mom has earned that special place by your side. If you are willing to deal with the drama I would absolutely have that discussion, but now, as early as possible before the wedding.

If you don't want to have that conversation, a few other options, have them both walk you down. Have dad walk you halfway, mom walks you halfway. Dad can walk you down but you have a mother/daughter dance at the reception.

Nothing wrong with having your mom walk you....regardless of your reason or motive for how it affects him, it;s your day and your decision. I would rather see you make the right choice for yourself and not worry about his reaction. Be real to yourself, you will feel peace not having to fake smiles and pleasantries if the sight of him disgusts you.

It's not punishing him, it's honoring her. Do it. Have the conversation once and let it go. He'll either take it well and come or not, but it's your day.

Totally understand where you're coming from! I am having both parents walk me down the isle, because even though I feel like my mother has more obligation to do so, I don't want to take any rights away from my father.

Have your mom walk you down the aisle and you can have a "father daughter" dance to not hurt his feelings.

Having your dad walk you is a sexist tradition, based on the idea that your husband is taking over the job of supporting you from your father, which is related to the whole concept of "giving away" the bride. (If it weren't, why would only the bride be escorted, and why would it be the father rather than the mother?)

So I'm not fond of it in the best of circumstances. I much prefer the Jewish tradition, in which both the bride and groom are escorted, each by both of their parents. That makes it more about recognizing your origins before going forth to your future, rather than the father dumping his obligation on someone else.

But even if the tradition were not sexist, traditions are based on the average situation. This one makes no sense in a situation in which your father did not raise you, did not financially support you, and made your life worse.

In this case, I'm wondering why he is even invited as a guest. If he is so offended that he cuts off ties with you, why is that even a problem? But certainly, you are under no obligation to honor him.

I think your heart already knows what to do.

I agree that it will be a hard conversation bc you will need to be honest in why you want mom to walk you. But if you really want ur mom to walk you I don't think you should give in. Maybe you can add him in a different way?

I'm in the same situation. I am having him over for dinner and talk to him. It will be a hard conversation, and I am afraid he will have a relapse. But honestly, it's not my problem if he can't handle the truth after 23 years of being an "over the phone" father.

My thoughts are you might not want him to now, but one day you may look back and wish he had. I think having them both walk you is a great idea.

My father wasn't around either. I've come to terms with it long ago that it is what it is. My mom's ex husband is walking me down the aisle. He has been there for me since I was 5. My absent father is not invited. If he as a problem with it oh well. Also, don't let him guilt trip you into having him walk you. It's your fh & yours, not his say so.

I'm in your same situation. I understand the feeling of not wanting to punish him, it's something that I have been fight with myself for. You're already the better person for inviting him but at almost 2 months to the wedding, you might be leading him on. Think about how you feel about both parents walking you down. Unfortunately my mother doesn't want to walk me down. She has this weird idea that a man has to walk me down and if my dad won't do it my God father should. It pisses me off that she thinks this way and I wish I could change. Anyway, ask your mom how she would feel and what's the best way to approach him.

Have your mom do it. She raised you .

I'm in a similar situation.

Not sure if this would work for you, but what I am doing is just walking by myself. My FH is going to come down and meet me at the front of the aisle as I come up, take my hand, and then we will walk up to the front together holding hands.

I sat everyone down and told them I just wasn't comfortable with the tradition of being "given away", and it's not choosing someone over your dad which I think is a little easier and less of a slap in the face.

Of course, the not being okay with being given away isn't the REAL reason I'm choosing not to do it, but everyone took that pretty well.