I don't want kids at my wedding but

We put on ours "we love how the kids run and play however, this is an adults kind of day" we have had several compliments on that a lot of the parents are glad because it gives them a chance to relax and enjoy the night off

ETA: spelling

Something shorter "while we love to watch the children run and play this is an adult only kind of day" idk the fact that it's at a winery I'm assuming most people will get it ETA: PP beat me lol

Putting it on an invite reminds me of those signs in the windows of a store "we love your dogs, just not in here."

We are not doing kids as well, besides the flower girl and ring bearers. I think most people could have inlaws/family not invited watching their kids or hire a sitter. Or they won't come! I don't think there is anything wrong with saying no kids as long as they have time to get a sitter. I would make sure to address the invites to only the adults. If there is still some confusion on the RSVP, address it right away!

I'm in the same boat. I'm having an out of state wedding at a winery. I have been very up front to my family members with kids that the children aren't invited, so they better start finding childcare now. My cousins have started saying that they'll have their in-laws watch their children which works perfectly.

I haven't had any blowback yet, but I'm standing firm. My venue counts any person over the age of 1 a guest, and we have to provide enough alcohol for them, and we're not doing that.

"While children are a blessing and a joy, we respectfully ask that this be an adults only ceremony and reception" This is what my brother and his fiance put on their wedding website. Not on the invitations. I'm not sure if this is good etiquette or not. I don't think it's that hard to have an overnight sitter. I did it plenty of times for the family I babysat for when I was 16.

If you address the invitation to M/M Smith, and you have on the rsvp card "we have reserved 2 seats in your honor" people will know their kids aren't invited without highlighting "no kids allowed" or "adult only affair".

If you can swing hiring a babysitter in a private room during the wedding (depending on number of kids you may need 2-3 babysitters) then I would do that. If you can't, don't worry about it but just understand some people may not be able to come.

I have also never understood why ppl think that saying "we want to allow you an evening of relaxation" has helped soften the blow. I am not a parent, and I am sure that some parents feel that way. However, other parents just see that as another $50-100+ in babysitting $ they will have to spend after gifts, outfit, transportation, etc. Not everyone is going to be thrilled with that explanation. Properly addressed invites, RSVP cards indicating # of seats reserved should definitely suffice. If you know of anyone in particular that may not get it even after that, reach out to them and explain that it is $/venue/whatever issue.

AYE!

Thursday night wedding, before a holiday weekend, all I did was put adult only reception on the website, invites were addressed to parents only (not families), and we had no issues. Some traveled from out out state, and they either found a sitter, or one parent stayed behind. Don't create problem scenarios in your head. If someone sends back an RSVP and includes their child's name, simply tell them, "I'm sorry, but this is an adults-only wedding." If they give you shit for it then say, "I'm sorry you feel that way and you won't be able to attend. I'll share some pics on Facebook for you to see." LOL

Well part of being a parent is realizing that you may have to miss some things because of your kids.

If someone has kids and can't get a sitter or leave the kids with grandparents, then they have to decline the invitation.

No need to say who's not invited, you simply address the envelope to those who are.

Mr & Mrs Smith instead of the Smith family.

@SAK2SAH- there was nothing rude about someone telling your sister that kids were not included in the invitation. She made the faux pas of ignoring the names on the invitation. If it didn't say "and family" or list the kids by name, they weren't invited.

The invitation clearly tells you who is invited. No one needs to depend on word of mouth.

Don't add a cringe worthy "we love your children but want to afford you the opportunity to have a romantic evening alone". Just like shower and wedding invitations that include a really bad poem soliciting money, these additions do you no favors. Invite who you want to invite. Make no mention of who is not welcome.

If people add in extra guests, give them a call, tell them there must have been a misunderstanding, that you are not able to accommodate extra guests. You do not have to mention the children at all.

You don't have to give in to guests who threaten not to come if they can't bring their children, even family. These people are using extortion to get their own way and should not be supported in their actions. I guarantee they don't take their children everywhere at home.

After some serious thought, FH and I want the same; as few children as possible. With the select few children that are in our wedding (all of which are our nieces and nephews), and that is it. We are actually getting married at a winery as well, so I can only hope that that is also a deterrent from bringing children. Our RSPVs also include how many seats are being held. If someone doesn't want to come because they can't bring their kid (who frankly couldn't give a shit less that we are getting married) then so be it. I just can't get passed why people think weddings are for kids. Since when has a 3 year old ever cared that their distant cousin is getting married? Probably never. And a baby crying during my ceremony? I would not be a happy camper. I'm doing my best to avoid any such situation.

I got local babysitter recommendations from our venue and gave it to some parents who I knew were planning to bring their kids for the weekend (but not the wedding). They're going to hire a few and put all the kids in one room to have their own little party. Others are leaving the kids at home with grandparents or a nanny.

As for the invitations, on the envelope(s) specifically list the names of those invited (i.e. Mr. and Mrs. Miller vs "The Miller Family"). Most people figure it out, those who aren't sure will ask and you can tell them that it's an adults-only event. Like someone else said, you have to be completely ok with someone declining because they can't bring their children. So far we've only had one couple have to decline because they couldn't figure out what to do with their kids, and most are looking forward to a nice night away.

We aren't having kids, and 100% of my family is out of state.

Not my kids, not my problem! They can come, or not.

Don't put it on the invite - you can put it on your website. Only address the invite to the parents (directly - "Mr and Ms So-and-so", NOT "The SO-and-so Family) only allow them 2 guests. If they try to write in more, call them and explain the invitation was intended for parents only, and that if they can't make it because of that - you understand.

It baffles me that people agonize over this. Think of it this way. You are spending thousands of dollars and months of planning to make this a wonderful event. Chances are your budget is not infinite and you cannot invite everyone in the world. So, why should one of your good friends have to miss out on sharing your special day in order to make room for your third cousin's three toddlers (who probably don't know your name)?

For us it was simple. We just don't have space for everyone. Especially since my fiancé is Latino and has like 300 cousins (and their 3,000 children). Well, guess what...We didn't want to be tripping over rambunctious toddlers while dancing to ABBA or having our ceremony interrupted by the screams of babies whose diapers needed to be changed, so we decided we would be very strict about who is and who is NOT invited. We made no bones about it. The invite very specifically said 'Because space is limited (and, because we don't want to have to watch our language), please limit guests to plus one and ensure your plus one is at least 14 years old.

Yeah, I have nephews and nieces who are teenagers and have friends coming from overseas who have teenagers, and so they were invited. Why? Because, I genuinely wanted them there. My cousin-in-law who has three very young kids -- all of whom are WAY too young to know how to behave at a wedding -- and whose names I cannot even remember because I've barely spent more than five minutes with any of them? Not so much. So, she was invited, but her kids were not. We made it clear. She opted not to come. We said, no worries. We will celebrate with you another way another time.

Done and done. Anyone who doesn't want to respect my decisions about how I want my wedding day doesn't need to attend. No hard feelings. My wedding is going to be wonderful because I didn't compromise. :-D

They can just use care.com or something for a sitter..I used to nanny and I did that once at a hotel for a family that was going to a wedding and they were OOT. Totally normal. Don't feel bad if you don't want kids there.

@SAK2SAH - clearly you and your sister are unaware of how to properly read an invitation. That is not the host's fault and does not make the host rude. It makes you and your sister uninformed. The invitation is addressed to the people invited. If your sister's children were not listed, then they weren't invited. It was rude of your sister to assume that they were.

Currently struggling with my FH's family respecting our wishes for a child-free day. Everyone else is completely fine - excited actually to have a night free of daycare duty. The reality behind us choosing not to have children there is because we want everyone to be present, to be uninhibited, and zero distractions. He has 4 nieces and nephews in total - his one brother completely understood. His sister, however, took this VERY personally and was "disappointed" because they are part of the family and it's also for their memories. His parents feel the same way. So, apparently, their feelings are more important than our wishes for our special day. His sister also gave the excuse of "well, I wouldn't have anyone else as my date". UMMM YOUR SIBLINGS AND FAMILY?! I have gone to weddings by myself. I don't know why people have to take it soooo personally, and even though we love all the children in our lives, why can't you take ONE NIGHT to be away from them? I don't think that it is, dare I say, "healthy" unless their children have special needs or important health concerns. I'm not going to get too political. I am not going to censor myself on my wedding. There will be vulgar language. There will be dancing. There will be drinking. Why do kids NEED to be there? All the RARE weddings I've gone to as a kid I barely even remember.

My fiance and I are just so hurt that our wants and needs and feelings do not matter. We're just so deflated.