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Just Said Yes September 2021

i don’t want a certain groomsman in the wedding.

Olivia, on May 16, 2022 at 2:08 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 3

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I’ve had disagreements over a friend of my fiancés for a few years. My fiancé had very bad habits in the past that were often enabled by this “friend”. He has also blocked me on social media and immediately after subtweeted “dumb c***” all because my fiancé woke up his dad while staying in their basement (more enabling) to come see me. Fast forward 3 years and my fiancé has changed so much for the better and I’m so proud of him but this “friend” is still in the picture. Last time we saw him he asked my fiancé if he wanted to see a picture of another girls boobs right in front of me and it’s not the first time he’s showed my fiancé pictures of naked girls that they both know! I’ve told my fiancé how much this “friend” upsets me and how disrespectful he is but my fiancé has always dismissed the conversation one way or another saying “it was just social media” or “why are you upset about something that was 3 years ago?”. I’m sick to my stomach about this guy being apart of my wedding rehearsal and ceremony etc. Oh and he’s bringing a girl that I’ve never met in my life. I don’t want either of them there and im literally losing sleep. Our wedding is in 40 days and I don’t know what to do. Please help.

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3 Comments

Latest activity by Taylor, on May 17, 2022 at 12:31 AM

Champion November 2054
Jacks · on May 16, 2022 at 3:04 AM
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Sounds like you need to communicate with your FI and get on the same page about this. Maybe your FI has some more changing to do.
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Devoted April 2023
Lucy · on May 16, 2022 at 3:27 AM
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Even though I belong to the team “the groom alone picks his attendants, no one else and the bride alone picks hers” , he should have considered your feelings and put you above the “friend”.

The friend wanting to show pictures of another girls boobs and if your guy agreeing and enabling this: They are acting like teens that have never had been in a relationship. Both need to grow up but especially your guy, seriously.
However, as for the “Our wedding is in 40 days and I don’t know what to do”
: I'm afraid it's too late to do or say anything. You should have sit your fiancé down way sooner to make it clear you don't want the guy and that your feelin gs should be his priority unless he secretly wants to marry him instead of you?? Seriously... in this situation I would threaten to postpone and I would even consider marrying someone who dismiss my feelings on a serious topic without even listening to how I feel/what I think. In my mind, this is a “ dark orange flag”.
“ he’s bringing a girl that I’ve never met in my life” : I'm with you on this, we both decided that the partners that met us or will meet us before the RSVP due date will be invited, so we are not being introduced to anyone at OUR wedding... but again, unfortunaltely, 40 days out is too late.
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VIP October 2022
Taylor · on May 17, 2022 at 12:31 AM
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I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. It’s not right that your fiancé isn’t putting you first. Mine had friends he’d known for 15 years who didn’t treat me right and so he cut them loose
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