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Dedicated September 2018

i don't want a bridal shower - advice?

Jennifer, on June 15, 2018 at 5:05 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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Help! My manager wants to throw me a bridal shower. I don't want one. We moved here 3 years ago and are having our wedding in Vegas, and only invited 25 people (no invitees are in our current town we live in). The only people I really know are from work and we are not close and I've never hung out with them outside work, so would feel odd inviting them to a bridal shower. Additionally, FH and I have been together for 11 years and are close to 40... We don't want anything. How do I get my manager off this? I know she's genuinely being nice, and loves to throw parties, she has a gorgeous house to boot. But, I don't want a bridal shower.

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Jennifer, on June 16, 2018 at 6:18 PM

VIP March 2019
SB · on June 15, 2018 at 5:21 PM
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Just thank her for her support and you appreciate the effort very much so, but you aren't into a bridal shower and would like to forgo it.
If she still wants to throw one, would it be possible to have it at your place of work? Just a company shower? That might be a fair compromise if she is still onto you about having one.
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Champion June 2018
muriel · on June 15, 2018 at 5:55 PM
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I find using the phrase "I'm not comfortable doing that" to be very effective. It withholds any judgement of what they think is appropriate and most people don't want you to be uncomfortable.
Follow up by suggesting the two of you have lunch together before the wedding.
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Dedicated September 2018
Leora · on June 15, 2018 at 6:18 PM
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Same situation here... multiple friends and my mother insisted I have a bridal shower. The most effective thing I said to them was “it makes me uncomfortable”.
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Super January 2019
PalmTrees · on June 16, 2018 at 2:34 AM
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Does she mean a full blown shower at her house or just one at your workplace during the workday? The second is pretty common and if that is I’d just let them do it. Otherwise I’d let her know it makes you uncomfortable and politely decline.
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VIP June 2019
MIWM · on June 16, 2018 at 3:39 PM
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I too do not want to have a bridal shower. I personally don't need or want anything. I would just politely say no thank you and that you and your fiancé have everything that you need anything. And tell her thank you for thinking about you.
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Dedicated September 2018
Jennifer · on June 16, 2018 at 6:18 PM
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Yes - full blown, at her house, not at work.
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