I don't want a big wedding any more.

First step is deff contacting the venue

I feel you. I was just having this discussion with my fiancé the other day. Good for you for changing your plans and doing what you really want.

I agree with @Alyssa- double-check your contract to see if you have minimums. I know my catering contract has a minimum person limit, or I pay a fee. However, if smaller is what you really want, any fees/penalties may be worth it to you.

Not quite as close as you to your original date, but our intended wedding date was 11/11/2017. FH and I felt the same way - except our original rough guest list was about 60 people. A couple of months ago, we decided to forgo the bigger wedding, and we're eloping at the courthouse on Thursday with our parents.

The first order of business before we decided to change our plans for sure was to speak with all of our vendors. The venue is already paid for, our deposit is down on our photographer, and a large deposit is down for our caterer as well, so we are going to do a small vow reaffirmation next year solely because we've already paid for it, lol, but even that celebration will be very intimate. Likely around 30 guests.

We spoke with our caterer who said there is no minimum guest count. Our photographer is doing our elopement photos at no charge, and taking them in lieu of engagement photos which are included in the package. She was adamant that we need to maintain our signed contract, though, which would be for next year.

After everything checked out with our important vendors and we were seriously considering the elopement, we began asking our family how they felt. Everyone is very supportive of us, and even though I insist that the vow renewal isn't our wedding, they are all still very excited for our "wedding" next year, haha. I feel very lucky that we are so well-supported and encouraged to do what we think is best for us!

I feel we get the best of both worlds this way, and am very much looking forward to the intimacy of an elopement. We are going to do the honeymoon after our vow reaffirmation next year. My only reservation was the non-religious ceremony, but I feel like next year our officiant will be able to help us come up with the best vow renewal ceremony for us, and it will be special!

I don't blame you at all! It's your day. Do as you please. Right On!

I've been fantasizing about downsizing for the past few weeks. If you can, go for it! Our wedding is only 94 guests to begin with, but I so wish we could just cut it down to about 50. ...but FH really wants the big event, so we're sticking to our 94. =/

You're making me jealous - I wish I could convince my FH to go smaller. I hate the idea of so many people staring at me as I walk down the aisle x.x

Best of luck to you - I hope your venue will allow you to make those changes, as everyone else said. But it's a really good thing that you didn't send out any save-the-dates yet (phew)

I love it. But do call your venue first thing!

We scrapped literally everything about 6 months in advance after my dad gave his blessing for us to do so (he was paying). My dress had been altered and he lost out on about $5k in deposits but planning a huge wedding was making me absolutely miserable (like I just gave up because it was triggering my anxiety) and thankfully he put my sanity above the money. We went from a hotel venue with a 200+ person guest list down to a courthouse elopement with celebration later in a private room at a local restaurant with a guest list of about 80. If you can get the smaller room and minimums won't be a problem, then go for it. We don't regret the decision at all. It was nice to be able to mingle with our families and see everyone come together in a more intimate setting.

I contacted the venue this morning and left a message, their not open until 3pm so waiting for the call back. The room we originally chose does have a minimum of 150 people. I initially fell in love with the room so that's why we decided to have 150 in the first place. The catering is included in the package, however we didn't have our meeting with the chef yet or give our final numbers. The only thing we did was give a deposit for the room. My hopes is if the small room is available we'll be able to transfer our deposit to that room. Our contract says the deposit is non refundable, but if we do decide to cancel or reschedule for any reason they can credit the deposit for any other event for up to a year.

Date twin!!! I feel the exact same way!!!! But we've already sent out the save the dates if I knew what I know now we probably would've done a destination wedding.

I fully support this decision! Let us know what the venue says

It sounds like you've decided this early enough that they should be able to just move the deposit to a smaller room. Good for you for going after what you want! It's easy to get swept up in the wedding stuff, I started out with a list of 40 (which, to me, was a lot of people) and now we're down to 12 and I'm so much happier.

It's possible that if the other room is booked you could change your date? Good luck!

Boozy unfortunately we can't change the date, most of FH's close family live out of state so that's the date they planned around, as well as my sister and 2 of my bm. Plus the invites are already printed.

@Lacie hey date twin, yea I'm so glad we didn't do STD. we just told FH's aunts and grandmother as well as my sister who live out of state.

I'm really hoping we'll be able to switch rooms I'd be so relieved if not I'm still cutting the guest list and maybe they'll work with me in added upgrades to the menu to reach the minimum or something.

No problem with downsizing except you can't take anyone off the guest list who has already been invited to a shower. Hopefully everything goes well with the room switch!

I'm sorry I don't have any advice other than to talk to your venue, but I just wanted to say thank you for validating my decision to have a smaller, more intimate wedding! I was starting to wish I had the money to have a huge wedding with tons of people, but it's posts like this that bring me back to reality and make me realize that small weddings are just as, if not more, nice!

Keep us posted! I'll have my fingers crossed for you.

UPDATE. I touched base with the venue and.... the smaller room is available!!! The only thing we'll be starting an hour later at 7pm instead of 6pm like we planned bc there's a day wedding going on in that room. We'll be starting dinner right after the ceremony and cutting cocktail hour out. But I'm so excited bc the smaller room is beautiful and fits the intimate feel we want and we'll get to have our ceremony in front of a beautiful fireplace. Also since we cut cocktail hour out and we'll be staying an hour later we have the option to add midnight snacks.

We are so happy with our choice. Not only are we saving money but we'll actually get to enjoy more time with our guest.

We've decided to downsize as well. Not as close but still very close.

Yay, Laura! Glad that all worked out!