i don’t like a groomsmens girlfriend

Please dont do this. As a groomsman, he has the right to share such a special day with the woman he loves.
How would you feel if one of your FHs friends said "You can come, but dont invite Sydney. I dont like her"?

I feel your pain! I really do. I think you best option is to invite her, not for her sake but for the groomsman's. I'd also be prepared to have someone escort her out if she starts to get wild. Let them both know that you are prepared to escort out anyone who gets out of hand. Then start praying/begging the universe/whatever you do, for a break them up prior to the wedding!

I’d just make sure you have security to walk her little crazy self out if she gets out of hand. Warn the bartender to cut anyone off that is too intoxicated. Have FH express your concerns to the groomsmen so that he can have a conversation with her beforehand.

Goodness. What in the world does he see in her that keeps him dating her? She sounds like a mess. I'm normally on the side of inviting whoever the groomsmen or bridesmaids are dating, as long as they aren't violent or child offenders, but your situation gives me pause. How does your FMIL feel about having the girl there? How does your sister feel? Do you have a bartender who can be warned about her and cut her off early from the alcohol? Do you have security that can toss her out at the first sign of inappropriate behavior? Does the groomsman have any way to influence her to not get drunk and embarrass everyone?

You probably need to invite her, but I would make it very clear to her that if she steps one toe over the line, she'll be gone from the reception. Tell her that she'll be tossed if she gets drunk, if she calls anyone *itch. She needs to learn that there are consequences to her actions.

Having said all this, I couldn't blame you if you don't invite her........................

View Quoted Comment I get that but I’m also not a mess, it’s more than me just not liking this girl, it’s trying to keep the peace at my wedding which I shouldn’t have to do. She’ll be invited, I do like other people’s suggestions on here about how to handle it

View Quoted Comment Thanks for understanding. I know I read other forums where girls didn’t like a girlfriend and I was like, oh no everyone is gonna think I’m being dramatic, but yea I think this case is much different.... my fml doesn’t like her but I know she would want me to invite her. My sister is scared the girl is going to be rude to her (I think the girls a coward and would never say anything to anyone’s face). My mom however knows everything and has been saying she’s not allowed to come... I was definitely thinking we need someone to cut her off and I love the idea of having security of some sort to escort her out and laying down the boundaries with her beforehand.

View Quoted Comment I love that idea! Thank you!

View Quoted Comment This is how I feel exactly. Very unfortunate that you’ve been put in this situation. Be prepared to have ppl on standby but don’t let her ruin your day!

This is that rare occasion when it is better to give a wedding party member a plus one, than to address any save the date or invitation in her own name, as is usual for fates whom you know. Because if by chance, they are not still seeing each other by the time the rehearsal dinner or wedding come around, you do not want him to get another invitation for a new person in his life, and have her have her own invitation, in her own name, for you all to get upset about. But up until that possibly happens, a quit personal word to groomsman that he needs to ask her to button up the .mouth so there are no more name calling or insulting interactions with others, is all you can do. But up front, make it clear to the groomsman that you really value his friendship and is only the wish to have no hurtful incidents toward you or your family that is behind your little talk with him.

I would invite her but if she starts acting up I would have her removed from your special day.

Agree that you should invite her but let the groomsman know that she will be kicked out if she does anything like that.

View Quoted Comment

I agree. Alert the bartender to cut her off. Have BP members, especially that groomsman be watchful of her behavior. Unfortunately they may need to make an earlier exit from the reception than other BP members, but at least you wont be seen as rude; her behavior will reflect on her.