i Don't Know Why

I think it definitely has more to do with the latter issue than the former. It seems like you feel like you’re in a competition with his brother and his brothers wife. You wanted your proposal to be separate from theirs so it could get the solo attention you think it deserved. You may be waiting for them to announce their pregnancy first because you think that it’ll be another thing that they will get to experience first and again “overshadow” your moment. Let go of those negative feelings. They serve you in no way. Your engagement and your love between you and your husband should be just that. Be happy that you were able to share a joyous time with his brother and his brothers wife. Be happy that you have a husband. It may not have happened the way you wanted it but there is someone out there wishing it will happen at all. I never thought I would be a mother, so when I found out I was pregnant it was a beautiful surprise. Stressing over little things and focusing on all the things you can’t change is pointless. Stay hopeful and try to stay away from the negative thoughts that you associate with what is supposed to be such a happy time. I could easily say to myself why did I get pregnant so soon after I got engaged. I had to postpone all my initial wedding plans and instead plan to be a mother. I just looked at it as a blessing. I was chosen to be the mother of a child, something I never thought I could do naturally and I got to do it with the person I love. There are so many men and women who are in same sex relationships and they have to pay thousands of dollars to try and get pregnant and women who due to medical reasons will never get the chance. You have so much to be thankful for. Enjoy your life together. Enjoy the time you have trying to conceive. Once you start your family you’ll long for the time when it was just you and your husband. Everything will fall into to place. We all get these negative feelings. Just shake it off with some positivity. I wish you the best.

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I do have a medical condition which is why we haven't had any luck so far in getting pregnant. It took me almost nine months to get diagnosed so now the doctor is trying to treat me so that I am able to have a baby one day. It is just hard seeing other people announce pregnancies because I want a baby so badly.

I feel like you’re being too hard on yourself and your relationship. I feel like everyone wishes they could make slight changes to their proposal but ultimately what’s important to remember is you are with your person and that’s what matters. And for things as delicate as having a baby try not to get upset about that either, you are only seeing the part of someone getting pregnant, but in reality it could have taken them years for conceive. I’m sorry you’re going through all this though.

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It's hard because the people that have announced they are having a baby got married right around the same time as us.

View Quoted Comment I know how you feel. I still can’t believe I’m a mother. After a while I just was content with being the aunt that all my babies (nephews/nieces/ little cousins) loved. Then one day, two years before I met my FH, I went shopping and something steered me towards the baby section and I bought two pieces of clothes and said to myself one day I’ll have a child and this will be their clothing. Three years later I was pregnant. It happened a long time after but I just believed and didn’t put anymore thought into and it happened out of the blue. We still don’t know how. Just stay positive, and most importantly don’t put any pressure on yourself. Even after my baby was born I was scared to put him in the special clothes I bought. I framed one set and hung it in his nursery instead. Sometimes its really hard seeing people live out your dreams and you can’t help but ask why not you. But everyone has their time. Yours will come.

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Thanks! I'm glad you got the baby you always wanted. My mom, grandmother and husband keep telling me to relax and that it will happen when it's meant to be. His sister struggled for years to have baby and had multiple miscarriages. She is due in June and I couldn't be more excited for her because she truly deserves a baby more than anyone else I know. I can't wait to meet our new niece.

View Quoted Comment You will too. It’s hard to hear that from other people when you’re trying. I would always say that’s easy for you to say you already have kids. But ultimately they’re right. I laughed at the doctor when he told me I was really pregnant. That’s exciting!!! I hope she has an easy delivery.

I think what some lose sight of is that the proposal isn't just for you its for him as well. They have their own vision of how they want to do it which may be completely different than what we see. It's just as special for them and is played over again in their minds as well. Not to mention the nerves felt. Consider him just like you consider yourself and that may change your perspective.