i don't know what to do

Such a tough situation. With your step family, how long were they in your life? If it was significant enough, and you are close to them, I would make the decision to invite them and have them make the decision. And it may be a tough discussion, but maybe speak with your mother about it and see how she would feel if they were there.

I wouldn't punish his family for his poor decisions. They are important enough that you wanted them at your wedding, I don't see why that needs to change. If I was cut off because of things my father has done, I wouldn't have half of the family that I do.

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I agree, and I am by no means trying to punish them. It's just an awkward situation, and I don't want anyone to feel upset at the wedding. And I don't want to be upset. I'm leaning towards keeping everything as is, including keeping her as a bridesmaid....but then again, I really fear there will be uncomfortable tension. Just isn't an easy choice.

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They were together for 18 years. My mom said she'd be okay if they were still there, but I also know she will say anything to make me happy.

Definitely talk to your mom & see how she feels.
I probably wouldn’t have any of them in the wedding party - my feeling is that who knows how close you all will be after the dust settles & knowing everything you know now, I wouldn’t want to look back on pics from the wedding day w/ the wedding party & be reminded of everything that’s going on, but that’s just me.

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I've thought about that too. But then again, I don't know if I have enough guts to ask her to step down (even though she did offer). My bachelorette weekend is coming up though, so I do need to decide something soon. I feel like it's an impossible decision though.

I'm so sorry. Such a tough decision. I guess one thing I would consider is if I planned on still having relationships with them after the wedding? If not, I would probably just let them know it would be better if they didn't come. There is no easy answer for this though

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I can honestly say that I don't foresee having much of a relationship with them afterwards other than Facebook. They live in different states. It'll be weird for sure going from calling each other "Aunt/Sister/Cousin" to "Friend."

View Quoted Comment It is such an awful situation. I can understand you not having the “guts” to ask her to step down. Would emailing her or texting her be easier?

View Quoted Comment Do you feel like your day would be better without them there? I feel like it might cause you pain to still have them there..