i don’t know what to call myself!

Unfortunately I think it's a super personal decision.

I am keeping my name and not changing it in any capacity.

I think given all of the information you provided, the best is to keep your name or change it to Brianna/maiden name/married name and if it's long- so be it?

People who know you professionally will adjust after some time and it will be like it was always your name

I am keeping my maiden name as well, largely to avoid the type of situation you mention, but also because I'm an only child and my dad died when I was in college so my name is one of the last pieces of him that I have and no one else is around to carry on that name. I also do have professional recognition by my maiden name, but to me my name has always been my name, not switching it saves us some money on the cost of the wedding (since I don't have to change all those legal documents and get a new passport, drivers license, etc), and I don't have to change my signature. If my FH and I have children they would take on his last name, and once married I'll respond to both my current name or Mrs. (FH last name) even though legally I'll still have the same name I was born with. When I discussed this with my FH he was totally on board.

I think if you want to ditch your old married name and take on your FH's new name, then your options are to go by Brianna (maiden name) (FH name) or just go by Brianna (FH name). People who get married for the first name change their names and others adapt (for example, I know that Hailey Baldwin and Hailey Bieber refer to the same person), so I think just taking on a new last name would likely be fine, but it does depend a bit on what sort of industry you are in. If your professional work is in the creative industry or you have your own brand I would consider using Brianna (middle name) or Brianna (maiden name) as your brand name in the future. If you just have professional recognition via being an employee in another business (and your name is used primarily for references and networking), I think adapting to a completely new last name should be doable.

Would it be weird if I just dropped my old married name, but professionally still went by my maiden name...even if legally I change to my new married name and use that in private life?

Typically, if you use one name in private life and one name professionally, your legal name is the one you use professionally. That's because your W-2s and 1099s have to be in your legal name, and those are associated with your professional life more than your personal life. So you could legally be Brianna (maiden name), but still use Brianna (maiden name) (FH last name) socially if you want.

Or you could just be Brianna (maiden name) for everything. I always hate it when women think that using his name socially, or hyphenating their names, is something they should do because he wants it, or is a "compromise" between keeping their names and changing them. Unless you have some say over his name, then he shouldn't have any say over yours. It's not a compromise unless both of you are changing your names (e.g., to a hyphenated name or a whole new name). Otherwise, it's him having veto power over both his name and yours.

Yeah, this is super personal.

I did not change my name, because of similar reasons to Kari - professional, for one, but I'm also an only child, and I'm super close to my dad. MIL never changed her name, so DH didn't even blink an eye - actually, his family would have been very confused if I changed my name! (And it's been only 2 months, but I get very curt when people try to call me his last name. I have not changed it even on social media, so ... yeah, it's obvious I haven't changed it.)

But, as above said, your legal name needs to be your professional name, for tax reasons, so you need to consider that.

I know your mom might be upset, but it is *your* name, and while she may have given it to you... that makes it her gift to you, to do what you wish with it.

People will adjust to whatever you do - women changing their name is still expected, so that is unlikely to cause a huge ripple past the first few months.