Hi all. Just looking for a friend here. I would appreciate any advice on this.
My family lives in a different country, and none of them (my mom, sister, and step-dad) speak English. They have never visited me in America (I've been living here for 7 years). I, also, have a complicated relationship with my mom. It would take me too long to explain our relationship, but, in short, she likes being the center of attention, causing drama, and she always plays the victim. She, also, was physically and verbally abusive to me when I was a child. We have an okay relationship now, and she is trying to behave like we've always been best friends.
Here's my logic why I do not want her to fly to my wedding:
1. It's a 15 hour flight from my home country, therefore, she will not want to come for 2 days and leave, she would obviously want to spend time here.
2. She does not speak english, she won't be able to spend time on her own, drive a car, go to excursions, etc.
3. I will be busy/stressed out planning the wedding/working/etc - I will not have time to babysit her, take her places. I also do not wish for her to stay at my house - we do not do well in person, it will 100% turn into a fight sooner or later.
4. My SO and I will probably leave for the honeymoon the day after the wedding, so I won't have time to spend with her after the wedding
5. She will 100% create a toxic environment, roll her eyes, make sure she expresses every concern and dislike she has.
If my mom lived close, or spoke english, and she could only come for the wedding itself, I would be okay with this.
How do I express to her my concerns? I know for sure if I told her that I wouldn't have time to hang out with her or host her, she would be extremely upset, dramatic, and she would start crying. I am not sure how to deal with this. Any thoughts?
