I do BBQ

Whoever you end up inviting, make sure you tell them no gifts. Since you want to call this an' I Do BBQ', people are automatically going to assume it is wedding related and will bring a gift of some sort.

Honestly, I would just have a regular BBQ. No formal name and invite who you would want to spend the day with.

I mean, you do what you can afford.

If it were me, I would do small because I don't need the stress of a bigger party

I would really like insight on this as well. Little different for me. My second marriage but my honey's first so I definitely want him to embrace every aspect. Grant it this would be my first wedding and I'm excited about the planning of ceremony and reception but not crazy about the whole bridal shower idea. Someone mentioned to me of hosting and I Do BBQ as well. If anything, I think it would be great for the wedding party and family more than outside coworkers and friends. That's the way I was thinking of doing it.

Pre wedding events are not something the bride and groom plan. They are something that someone offers to host. You don't host your own party in your honor.

You should definitely not ask for gifts if you are doing something low key and not a bridal shower.

I agree @shalandria.. my FH is super modest and just doesn't want to put anyone out so to speak.. he's so excited about our reception and ceremony and has even made a private pinterest he shares ideas with me on everyday. Super cute!!

K.M. we do understand that aspect basically I left a peice out. We discussed this with our wedding party cause everyone immediately asks about BACH parties and when I said host I meant at our home. They are covering costs and handling everything else. But the question of who should we invite has come up for planning purposes

Also what is the PC way to word "please no gifts"?

It's perfectly fine to say "please, no gifts" -- especially if the event is hosted by a close friend or family member. It is far easier for someone else to express your wishes on your behalf via an invite or in convo. There's just less social pressure to say the right thing. Your guests want the right information; your host is happy to provide it! The more direct the less chance anyone will misinterpret.

Even better if your just can explain briefly why that's important to you, eg.: "The bride & groom are excited to be celebrating this special moment in their lives with you. They've requested no gifts, just the pleasure of your smiling faces & well wishes please!"

@Katiek beautiful!!! A total godsend! Thank you!

glad to help!

So. There are a few things to be aware of. So, you're doing this BBQ in place of shower/bachelorette? If so, remember that all people invited to a pre-wedding event must be invited to the actual wedding.

Reference to gifts should never go on the invitations if you're hosting, unfortunately. It's an etiquette faux pas.

Agreed, everyone invited will also be invited to the actual wedding.. see, thats part of the problem, where on earth do we say no gifts?

Well this is a problem that comes along with having your own pre-wedding event that you're hosting. I'd spread the info by word of mouth in this case.

Its only going be at our house. We have the biggest yard or adequate space.. my MOH is handling everything else we had just expressed to her what we would prefer when she asked so now these etiquette type questions have arose and I'm here asking

See how much money you wanna spend on it then decide how many people you're gonna be able to properly host with that budget.