i Can’t Seem to Forgive My Would-be Bridesmaid

I was supposed to have 5 bridesmaids on my wedding day, but walked down the aisle with 4. There was no fall out between me and my would-be bridesmaid, but I can’t help but feel bitter about it. Here’s what happened:


1. She bought a bridesmaid dress! 2. She tells me she’s saving up to get a hotel and flight for her and her son to go to the wedding. 3. She’s strapped for cash so she wants her friend to drive her here instead. She asks if her friend can come to the wedding. I said yes. 4. She tells me that she’s strapped for cash and wants to her and her friend to stay in my spare bedroom instead of getting a hotel. I said yes.5. She tells me that she doesn’t know if her friend will get the days off for the wedding and doesn’t know how she’ll get here. I said okay, let’s wait. 6. 1 and half months before the wedding, I was looking for ways for her to get here and found out that there was a long distance bus available. I told her that I would like to pay for half of it. She tells me okay, but needs to see how much she’ll get on her next paycheck. So then I said, I’ll pay for everything. 7. After that, she says, “Okay! I’ll see if my days off are approved to see if I can attend the wedding.” Apparently her job only lets her know two weeks or less if she’s able to get the days off.
At that point, I told her, she needs to find out because she was costing me money and time. I tried my best to accommodate her by providing her what she needed and even giving her ways to come here but at the end, she was irresponsible.
I can’t seem to forgive her for some reason and she has no idea I’m feeling this way.