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Catriona
Just Said Yes September 2022

i can't handle anymore complaining from everyone about this wedding

Catriona, on June 7, 2022 at 8:07 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 13
I am at a loss and I don't know who to talk to. Planning this wedding has been a nightmare. For context, my fiance is from Australia, so we decided to get married in Hawaii to make it fair for each side of the family and no one having to travel too far.


Well, all I've gotten to hear since the beginning of this are complaints. I've had one bridesmaid had to quit because of expense, had to 'fire' one because she was being a nightmare, my sister used me asking her to be emcee as an opportunity to bring up every past grievance she has in our relationship, so I retracted the request, now my bridesmaid who is planning the bachelorette is having money trouble and has started complaining about every decision I make bachelorette-wise. We've had so many setbacks with flight cancellations, problems with our rental unit. I just feel like every part of this planning process has made me feel even more alone. My FH is wonderful and is the only beacon of light in the whole experience. Genuinely, I just don't know how much more stress and disappointment I can stomach. I'm incredibly jealous of brides whose families and friends just love them so much and rally around them. I've never been miss popular, so I get it why I'm having trouble rallying people now, but man, it's hard not feel totally dragged down by all the negativity.

13 Comments

Latest activity by Bailey, on July 25, 2022 at 4:11 PM
  • J
    January 1895
    Jessa ·
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    It's really hard to plan a wedding at such an expensive place, such as Hawaii. I am sorry you are not feeling supported by friends and family. That is a really crappy emotional spot to be in. Feel all of your feelings and rely on your fiance. Then, when you think you have the emotional bandwith, try to understand where your friends with the money issues are coming from. Hawaii is the MOST expensive vacation destination in the US. The economy is tanking hard. It just might not be doable for everyone right now.

    As for your sister, no advice on that one. UGH

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  • Imani
    Rockstar July 2022
    Imani ·
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    Catriona - I am so sorry to hear about everything you’re going through. As soon to be brides, we expect to be having the time of our lives and being happy, not having to deal with all the drama. I know it sucks to have cancellations and people complain, but this is your wedding. You and your FH, make it the best for you both, the people who need to be at your wedding, will be there and I hope it’s the best day of your life! Unfortunately, these things happens with some families but I’ve seen several move past it. I wish you the best of luck and I hope everything works out for you and your FH.
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  • Mrs.evans
    Rockstar October 2022
    Mrs.evans ·
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    Hi Catriona this is the right spot to vent,and I hoped that spelled it right. But you are not the only that has had problems I've had family members issues friends and Top it off jobs issue. Me and my FH had some issues the devil has been very busy. I had to replace 1of my MOH and it was my daughter she was in her feelings. So I asked my other sister and some things were on hold for a bit we. We didn't think were going to make our payments on our venue but God came threw and we had gotten a huge break price originally 6k but it's only $3,200. Some other things for our wedding is coming along and have to speak with other vendors. I was so mad at my FH are something that he did and it heart my hurt gave second thoughts. But now we are working things out I pray that the God removes all of the devil hands off of your wedding. But he already removed some of your problems
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  • Shannon
    Expert July 2022
    Shannon ·
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    I feel for you. On a positive note, Hawaii is hands down the most beautiful place on earth. You’ll have a gorgeous backdrop and pictures to look back on.
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  • Catriona
    Just Said Yes September 2022
    Catriona ·
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    I'm just afraid all that beauty will be tainted by the memory of how painful the planning process was.
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  • Shannon
    Expert July 2022
    Shannon ·
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    As the bride who has enough on her plate, no one should be complaining to you. I would tell those who are bringing you down to keep the complaints to themselves. Positive vibes only. Try not to entertain the negativity.
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  • Catriona
    Just Said Yes September 2022
    Catriona ·
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    I actually did say something about it to my bridesmaid today. She means well but she has no filter, but I'm not the right person for her to be sharing her stresses with right now.
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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Sorry you're feeling this way. Having a destination wedding is always tough, because people are all for the plans until the reality hits re: the expense of things. Maybe flip the coin a bit and focus on all the positive things happening. As pp said, Hawaii is amazingly beautiful!

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  • Catriona
    Just Said Yes September 2022
    Catriona ·
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    That's been a lot if what is happening. I do keep working really hard to stay positive. But it just feels like an effort everyday. There is always some new negativity and drama cropping up.
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  • T
    Dedicated July 2017
    ti ·
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    So sorry to hear that this has been getting you down!

    Getting married in a place that requires guests to travel (which I appreciate was always going to happen in your case - you were dealt an impossible hand with that one!) is unfortunately likely to be a problem for some people.

    Sadly money is one of those topics that causes a lot of heat and friction between even the closest of people, so don't feel that you're any less loved than anybody else because of this issue that you're coming up against.

    All my friends who had issues in the lead up to their weddings ended up having an incredible time and ultimately, your wedding is about enjoying the day - I'm sure any challenges you come up against in the process will be far eclipsed by the positive memories of your wedding day Smiley heart Smiley ring

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    It might help to adjust your expectations realizing that you're having an expensive event. I mean this particularly about the bachelorette which is seeming to cause even more money stress in your group. Sounds like it's just too much money, unfortunately.

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  • Natalie
    Super November 2020
    Natalie ·
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    I’m sorry you are feeling this way. Realistically, while it may logistically make sense based on location of your two families, Hawaii is an extremely expensive place to visit. Because people will be spending so much money just to attend your wedding, I would minimize any expectations for pre-wedding events.
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  • Bailey
    Expert October 2023
    Bailey ·
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    I'm having a destination wedding, as well, and was worried about bridal drama because of the cost too.

    When I approached my bridal party, I was VERY upfront with the cost (literally broke it down for them to the cent) and what was important to me and what they could miss if they wanted.

    They all agreed and 3 of the 6 approached me privately and expressed concerns about being able to attend everything, so I started a fund of my own money to help pay for them be there for me. A lot of people look down on this...but it's what worked for me and my best girls.

    Bridal parties aren't always perfect, and they may require a lot more from you than you anticipated, but your friends should 100% be supportive emotionally and should be able to put themselves aside to celebrate you. If that's not the case, it IS okay to not have a bridal party. You and your FH could go out of town and make your own party in place of a bach, and there is no shame in that! This is supposed to be about what works for YOU, even if it's unconventional or unusual. If your friends aren't really being friends, you don't need them to have the best wedding day. You really don't! Think about the things that are stressing you out and decide if they're even worth having, regardless of whose feelings etc.

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