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Devoted November 2021

i can't get in contact with my bridesman??

Sarah, on November 19, 2019 at 8:54 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

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Hey all! So this is a weird situation.

I've been friends with this guy for a long time. He knew me before I started dating my FH and has been there for our whole relationship. For the last few years he's lived abroad teaching English, but we would still talk once a month or so. He just recently moved back to the states and I've spoken to him a few times since then, but haven't been able to see him. Then he announced that he would be deleting his Facebook so the only way to contact him is by phone. I wanted to ask him to be my bridesman for my October wedding, and I made a proposal box and everything. I've asked all my gals, and he's the only one left. So here's the kicker... I can't get in contact with him! I've been trying for weeks and He doesn't respond to my texts and when I call it doesn't ring. His voicemail isn't set up either. He's living a few states away and I don't know his address, so it's not like I can just go see him. I can't think of any reason why he would be avoiding me - and to top it off, part of the proposal box is a living plant that's starting to die! I'm thinking about just asking a close coworker to be my bridesmaid instead, but it's hate to find out he just had terrible signal or something.So... advice? How long would you wait? How much effort would you put into trying to contact your long-time friend before giving up and asking a coworker instead?

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Meghan, on November 19, 2019 at 10:52 AM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on November 19, 2019 at 9:00 AM
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Is there anyone close to him that you can reach out to? I would be more concerned about your friend's well being than about your wedding. Suddenly deleting social media and then the phone not even ringing when you call seems super odd to me. You still have plenty of time to ask him once you find out what the deal is. I'm of the thought process that there should be no replacements when it comes to your wedding party. You should ask your nearest and dearest, not whoever fits your numbers.
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Master January 2015
null · on November 19, 2019 at 9:02 AM
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I wouldn't ask another person to be in your bridal party just because you haven't been able to contact him. If you want your coworker in your bridal party, you should ask them regardless. If it's just to fill a spot, then it's a bad idea.
If you've done all you can to try to contact him and he's just dropped off the face of the earth, there's really nothing else you can do. If he does get back to you and explains what's been going on, I'd still ask him to be in the bridal party and just scrap the plant from the proposal box.
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VIP October 2021
Jennifer · on November 19, 2019 at 10:04 AM
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1) Water the plant and give him another one.
2) Do NOT ask anyone else- yet.
3) He must have someone that you can contact- friend or family- that can reach out to him. I am sure that other ppl he was friends with haven’t deleted their FB account. 4) Keep trying to reach him. Let him know it’s important and that you miss his company. 5) Maybe he is having a hard time adjusting to being back? Or does have a bad signal. 6) He might also be upset about you getting married- if he ever held out hope that you two could date.....
I am sorry this is happening. Best of luck.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on November 19, 2019 at 10:23 AM
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I agree completely. Be a friend first, bride second! As for the plant, I would take care of it
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Master October 2019
Meghan · on November 19, 2019 at 10:52 AM
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Agreeing with everyone else. This is very strange. Someone should probably do a welfare check on him!! Do you know anyone who lives close by him? I would not be concerned about your wedding party at this moment in time. And just because you can’t get in contact with him right at this moment doesn’t mean you have to find a replacement. If you are not super close with anyone else, you just don’t have another bridal party member.
But again, figure out a way to check out your friend before going back to finding a bridesman/maid.
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