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Beginner September 2015

I am starting to dread my wedding...

Tiffany, on August 22, 2015 at 6:57 PM Posted in Planning 0 18
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Dont get me wrong, I am so excited about getting married to the man of my dreams. But when I think of my wedding I get very sad. When we first got engaged I imagined a rustic wedding & reception with all of my friends and family having a wonderful time. Now, with my wedding only a month away, I regret everything I have spent so much time and money on. Now when I think of my wedding I really wish I would have just planned a simple ceremony on the beach with just my fiance and I and our very, very close family and friends. People keep asking if I am excited for my wedding and I smile and say yes but Im not. I want to say screw it and just go to the beach and get married on day but I can't. I can't get my money back on anything. my fiance and I have put over $2000 into this. Am I the only bride who feels like this? I feel so defeated. My entire outlook on my wedding has changed and I cant go back on it now.

18 Comments

  • Future Mrs Morgan :)
    Expert November 2015
    Future Mrs Morgan :) ·
    • Flag

    Awww, I'm sorry that you feel this way Smiley sad a month away ? you should feel super excited and anxious, I would think.... Why do you think you feel this way ? Are you overwhelmed ? Do you have everything done ?

    • Reply
  • FormerUser
    Master July 2015
    FormerUser ·
    • Flag

    I'm sorry. :-( Try to focus on the things you're excited about.

    • Reply
  • Whitney G
    Devoted September 2015
    Whitney G ·
    • Flag

    Girl, I feel the exact same way. It's coming down to the wire, we're bleeding money into this, and everybody wants things that I cannot provide for them ( more expensive wine, to do a singing solo in the middle of the ceremony, to add 5 more people to their plus 1 option etc...).

    I posted about it this morning when I was feeling overwhelmed, and that's okay. It's okay for you to feel overwhelmed when you're down to the wire and it's on your shoulders to get things done. Allow yourself to feel this way for a bit if you need. Then, remind yourself of why you're doing this. It's too late to turn back and elope, but you do get to marry the man of your dreams and that is beautiful.

    Just know that you are not alone in your stresses and if you need to rant it out, I and many of the users on here are here as fellow overwhelmed brides to listen. Smiley smile I've convinced myself that once the actual day comes, and there is nothing left for me to do but walk down the isle, I'll see his face and smile and it will wash away every stress I've felt in planning this shindig. I bet it will be the same for you too.

    • Reply
  • MN Kate
    Super January 2016
    MN Kate ·
    • Flag

    There are days that I feel like this as well. I wanted a small beach ceremony but FMIL was unhappy about that and it would be rude for family to travel and people would not be able to come. So I gave in....... We are now $25,000 into this wedding so yeah I can't turn back now. Smiley sad

    • Reply
  • Jan87
    Super August 2014
    Jan87 ·
    • Flag

    Lol! I think every bride goes through this the closer to their wedding...I know I did. My wedding day was perfect though and wouldn't change anything. All the best to you!

    • Reply
  • Jade
    Beginner September 2015
    Jade ·
    • Flag

    You are not alone. I feel the same way. My dad and FH keep adding people but don't realize that is more money. And they feel like they shouldn't have to pay more for extra people. I am so over it. Wish I would have went to Vegas.

    • Reply
  • T
    Beginner September 2015
    Tiffany ·
    • Flag

    Thank yall I am so glad I am not the only one who feels like this lol.. I just cant wait for it to be over and for us to be on our cruise!!

    • Reply
  • L
    Just Said Yes October 2015
    Leslie ·
    • Flag

    Me too, kinda! Our guest list is so huge - 2-3 times what I would have really liked it to be - the whole thing just snowballed! I got caught up in not wanting to hurt anyones feelings and frankly I wish I'd been a little more exclusive because now we've got confusion about guests bringing uninvited +1's and kids who weren't invited and it's going to end up feeling exclusionary anyway. Ugh.

    My fiancee is literally my favorite person ever, I adore his family, I can't wait for our parents and sisters to meet. My MOH, officiant and "wedding stage manager" are going to make sure the day runs smoothly and I'm just going to try my best to let go of the stuff I can't control and keep my eyes on the prize (my favorite person). Good luck to all of us!

    • Reply
  • Alexis
    VIP September 2015
    Alexis ·
    • Flag

    I hear ya! Ugh I'm ready for it to be over already. Tired of trying to please everyone and spending so much money.Our supposed to be kind of small wedding grew to 165 people thanks to FH!

    • Reply
  • Uber Dami
    Master October 2015
    Uber Dami ·
    • Flag

    I feel the same way. as we get closer to the wedding im less and less excited, i just want it over with frankly, and wish we would have just eloped. wedding planning has not been the fun activity people made it out to be, i have not enjoyed any of it. cannot wait until we're married and i never have to do anything like this ever again.

    • Reply
  • Jai
    Expert October 2015
    Jai ·
    • Flag

    I just started feeling this way recently.

    The money that just keeps pouring out 9 our accounts, family drama, people not doing what they said/volunteered to do, and just worrying if everything I've worked so hard to put together comes together as planned.

    I'm a little worried about our RSVPs, I feel like we're a little low....ugh!

    I feel overwhelmed and stressed, and I still have 50 ish days to go.

    When people ask me, I just say "I'm over it". The planning part that is. Im just ready to get married.

    • Reply
  • Heather
    Devoted August 2015
    Heather ·
    • Flag

    I had some of those feelings to, I think it's normal. Once the day comes and you're finally walking down the aisle the weight of all the stress, anxiety, disappointments, etc. disappear. I just got married on Saturday, so I know, haha. I wouldn't have changed anything except of course the bouquets and flowers on the arch, since they were wrong, but that's another thread, literally.

    It will be great, wish you the best!

    • Reply
  • theprettysweetlife
    Expert September 2016
    theprettysweetlife ·
    • Flag

    I'm feeling this way, too. We're in the very early stages of planning and have not spent much money. I cry every time someone asks about the wedding. Eloping is still on the table but I think I would regret not celebrating with my friends and family and I know a lot of people would be hurt/disappointed.

    Good luck. I am sure will enjoy your day even if it's not exactly how you envisioned.

    • Reply
  • Lauren R.
    VIP August 2015
    Lauren R. ·
    • Flag

    I felt the same way Heather did going into Saturday. I wanted a small wedding, thinking it was all too much. But love took over. I protected my experience by remembering why I was there - to marry the love of my life - and kept that as my focus. I will also say that being so meticulous about my planning, as stressful as that was, completely paid off. I was SO relaxed the day of the ceremony because I knew I had done all I could. There were some hiccups, but nothing that couldn't be easily fixed. We ended up with around 150 guests, but they were quality guests (choose them carefully regardless of the wedding size) and we had a ball. Hang in there. You will get through it.

    • Reply
  • JaKLyn
    Master November 2015
    JaKLyn ·
    • Flag

    We're considering eloping due to FMIL drama and just forfeiting our over $8,000 in deposits and additional payments.

    • Reply
  • OGSue
    Master August 2016
    OGSue ·
    • Flag

    I believe most of those who plas a wedding goes through this. People who do the big wedding have their doubts about the money being spent and wish they did the whold city hall thing, and then the ones who go to city hall wish they had more people at their wedding. It's okay to feel this way - but you made these choices for reasons - so I truly believe that in the end you won't have regrets.

    • Reply
  • R
    VIP October 2015
    RhnCasi419 ·
    • Flag

    I too feel these thoughts. For one thing I have never been so indecisive in all my 48 years as I have been with planning this wedding. I waited a very long time to say I do! I think we put way too much pressure on ourselves with the whole wedding thing. I try to stay grounded as much as possible with this ... because yes, we are putting out a lot of money for one day. I'm afraid I will regret the colors I chose, I'm afraid of regretting the dress I chose. I'm only doing this one time and I want it to be everything I ever dreamed of. Way too much pressure. Must stay grounded and focus on the pulp of it all ... we are marrying the love of our lives, and that is all that should matter. Not family drama (shame on those who cause this!), not colors, or a cake stand, or guest transportation, or that my wedding isn't going to have a ton of signage ... its about two people committing themselves to one another. Try not to have any regrets. Focus on you and FH. (And us too ... can't wait til we get to the honeymoon part!)

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Nicole
    Master May 2016
    Mrs. Nicole ·
    • Flag

    I feel you. My wedding is still 9 months away, but I'm already over it. Our families are not exactly being supportive, the way we are killing ourselves financially to afford said wedding, and the fact that I really don't give a fuck about having the Pinterest perfect centerpieces. When we got engaged, my dream was to have maybe 20 people tops, hit the smokey mountains, and have a beautiful and quiet ceremony where I didn't have to plan much.

    Now I have a 150 wedding that nobody seems to care about anymore. Nobody wants to help. I never wanted this in the first place but we were told we had to because my FSIL already did the courthouse wedding so "we weren't allowed to", yet not a single person has offered to help us with any of it. I had a really bad night with my FILs yesterday and it ended up with me sobbing on the way home from the dinner. Just done.

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