i am Not Throwing Away my Shot

Anyone seen Hamilton? It’s great! Anyways, I posted awhile ago on a post called “Rant” that went over my rant of my feelings and frustrations being a 2020 covid bride and having to possibly reschedule my wedding for a second time. Maybe you saw it, maybe you didn’t and that’s cool. Anyways here’s an update.


As of right now, with 41 days left until my supposed wedding, my county is at a halt and right now cannot accommodate to weddings AT ALL, unless stats changed drastically, my wedding coordinator suggested setting a plan C. Which I did, painfully, but he said to hold onto plan B, just in case. Well, my nurse practitioner friend, my family and my fiancé and his family all think this wedding isn’t happening in 41 days and told me that maybe it’ll be fine next year. It hurt hearing that. It hurts thinking that here I go again, reschedule and reschedule. One of my biggest resentments was not getting married last year.
My FH saw how painful this has been for me and offered to elope with me on the day of my plan B if we have to cancel it. I never wanted to elope. I know lots of couples do it and it’s perfectly normal. But it wasn’t what I wanted for myself. However, I missed out marrying him last year and now I’m thinking, “I am not throwing away my shot”. So I agreed to marry him next month. Be it at our big wedding or a courthouse thing and having a party next year. Also a big appeal is that we’re keeping it secret. No one knows. My friends and sister have not been the most supportive team so I saw no point in letting them know my plans. The only one who knows is my mom because we need a witness.
So there it is. I was sad at first. This wedding has been the only thing keeping me afloat during this pandemic, a lighthouse in a storm, but even if it’s cancelled, I won’t miss out on marrying my best friend. I still have some hope that we’ll have the wedding of our dreams someday.
Thanks for listening, good luck to the rest of you.