I am married, but am I still obsessing about the wedding day

I had a similar situation- my sister & niece were in the wedding and were an hour late, so missed all of our bridal party pictures. I'm still very sad about it. Especially because it was so they could go out to eat before my fully catered reception...SMH...

As for the other stuff- as much as it stinks, you do have to move on. Some things are just out of our control and the what if's don't help. Try to remember that the most important thing is your DH & marriage. There are lots of things I could've/would've done but it's over now, time to move on!

Learn to forgive and forget. You do need to stop.

Now, you can always retake photos if you have the funds to do so. My friend hated the majority of her wedding photos and she and her groom donned their dress and tux again a month later for retakes, she was much happier.

Did you have a day of coordinator? Or Did you give your venue coordinator your day itinerary?

I think you or your husband should take her hand, and explain to her, that nothing can ever change the fact she was late, but it can change how you feel if she would just apologize to make you feel better. Whats done is done, right, but you only get one shot to have a good day. People think it was amazing because they are 1) polite 2) doesn't know what went wrong, because they are not you.

I would HATE if the whole thing felt rushed.

@Joan no. If you have to ask for an apology, you aren't going to get a real one back. We are adults. No hand holding. Her MIL could have been late for a good reason. Even if it wasn't a good reason, it doesn't even matter.

You have to move on, maybe by focusing on the part of your day that you loved.

It's over and done and yes, it sucks. Your husband should have a few choice words with her (he should have already, without prompting. She owes you a big apology .

But at this point you move one....

For everyone else out there?

IME, lateness on someone's part (the couple, the relatives, 'indispensable' guests, shuttles, officiants, bands, MUA's) are the source of 98% of the wedding stress that happens. Whether it's a crisis, a cavalier attitude towards your event or just plain carelessness, it sucks and it can derail an important, expensive event.

For me? I wouldn't wait for any guest, (even a MIL, who should know better). I'd have IN MY CONTRACT that every service is going to be on site a half hour before they need to be (we are there an hour ahead). I'd build in extra time for every service like MU and first looks and I'd like like a dog in the road to any transportation. Have you ever really watched the shuttle bus process? They will wait until the last freaking person who can't find her lipstick get on and then it will take 20 minutes to get them all off the bus, into the venue and into their chairs. Because they have to shmooze along the way; which isn't bad, you just have to build in time for it.

If you're in a resort area, a convention area, on an island that depends on ferries, let your guests know what might befall them. (It still continues to astound me that when people are late to a Friday wedding in north NJ or NYC, they seem completely mystified that there was traffic! "OMG, the traffic was crazy!!" Of course it was, it ALWAYS is.....)

But for you? You're married to a great guy; this is his issue to address, and he should do it soon.

Thank you ladies no I didn't have a coordinator I told the venue what I wanted and that was it. I am married to am amazing guy and I'm going to try and let it go and wait for my pictures to come in and hope I'm in love. I should not have waited because when she got there she was not very nice. I would think he is your first born son and your younger sons are in the wedding you would be early her sisters were there early making sure her 11 and 13 year old son were dressed amd ready while she was on the road doing I don't know what. I think I'm upset with many things say did leading up to the wedding as well as wedding day but I'm going to try and let it go.

Thank you so much Monica A. Your right I'm focusing on the positive