i am getting married before my older sister yikes!

I have been with my FH forever (15+ yrs) and although I wanted to get married eventually it wasn't a huge priority for me. (We met at a young age) I got engaged last year right before covid. My sister who I am very close with offered me a congrats but never asked to see my ring, never commented on my ring or asked me how he proposed. This was a little unexpected and made me feel a little uncomfortable. Both of our parents are deceased she is my only sis so perhaps I was looking for a little validation from her. Things really got weird when I began to plan my wedding. It was a natural decision to have my sis as my MOH but every time I would mention something I wanted or was thinking about doing for my wedding, instead of offering advice the conversation would switch to what she wanted or planned on doing for her wedding! (Please note she is not engaged) Fast forward I pick my venue and decide on a color scheme finally my sister asked me what color and location I decided on? I was so happy that she expressed interest I gushed over signing my contract etc. The next words out of her mouth was like a checklist vs interest did you do open bar? Champagne toast? Cocktail hour etc what if I couldn't afford those additional amenities) Since I plan on only doing this once I got everything I wanted. She told me I picked her wedding colors and venue that she planned to wed at!? (I had no idea that she picked the same venue or colors as my choices because she is not engaged!) I ended up apologizing and proceeding to my planning without too much involvement from her because I realized my wedding journey was hurting her.


I mustered up the courage to eventually ask if she wanted to be my MOH thinking that I may have forced her she said she did want to but she struggled with my choices being so similar to what she wanted for her wedding. Things are better but still weird for me. I try to include her more but its still awkward for me. She makes sly comments about how much I pay for items invitations, floral budget etc. I never mentioned the cost of my vendors and decor but she always asked. I feel like there is a silent comparison between us. I told her I wanted to do the whole experience from engagement party, bridal shower etc. I told her I always wanted to do a TEA PARTY (obsessed with them) So I wanted to do a tea party bridal shower. Then out of the blue she told me she was throwing a tea party Birthday for my niece. (Is this revenge for stealing her wedding colors) because last time we spoke it was a unicorn Birthday party. Move forward I receive a call at work asking if I would be upset if she got married 1st? Huh? I told her it was fine but It did hurt me because I felt like she was doing it for all of the wrong reasons. (Boyfriend did not propose FYI) My brother proposed to his girlfriend after I got engaged and they are getting married 6mos before me and I couldn't be happier. I feel hurt and confused by her actions what should I do? (I am nonconfrontational)