I am a Transgender female going to be a bridesmaid need some advice

I think you are way ahead of yourself here.

I'd make it clear to the bride and others how much your willing to spend. You should not have to go broke. Only expectation as a bridesmaid is to buy a dress you can afford and show up the wedding day. Anything else is considered a bonus (bachelorette, shower) and should not be expected of you.

But definitely let it be known if you can't spend a lot. Nothing here should break the bank.

I would just ask your friend if she'll be paying for a hairstylist, cuz youre def not obligated to pay for something unless you specifically want it. I dont know what those hairstyles look like but do a pinterest search and youll get lots of examples.

Whoa, deep breaths there honey. Don't get yourself stressed out over nothing. Let's take this bit by bit.

1) All you need to worry about at this meeting is getting to know the other bridesmaids and knowing what you are comfortable spending on a dress. You get to decide what you spend on this. Not the bride.

2) Showers, bachelorette parties, and other events are optional. If you want to help plan, you can, but I'd expect the maid of honor to take the lead if anyone does.

3) You are not responsible for planning the wedding including looking up venues or vendors. Get it out of your mind. Don't let it stress you out. It's not your wedding.

4) A good hairstylist will be able to explain to you what the hairstyles are. But if the bride is requiring professional hair in a specific style, she should be paying for it.

5) The bride should also be paying for other requirements like nails, makeup, or specific shoes. Anything outside of the dress is not for you to pay.

6) You can wear anything you'd like to the bridal shower. No sense getting anything special if you don't want to.

A chignon is essential a side bun at the nap of your neck. It's easy to fake.

But I'd be concerned about how fricking let bearing the bride is already!

This is my faux do. I curled my hair and teased it a little, twisted and pulled it into a side pony and then added a hair peice. At home. Cost me 30$, 19$ for a specific curling iron and 6.99$ for the hair peice on amazon.

I've never been a bridesmaid, but isn't the first meeting to be when the bridesmaids are told of the ideas and things get decided?

But I do see where you are coming from, I like to go into situations as prepared as possible too- I don't like surprised.

Maybe ask the bride what you should know and bring to the table for the first meeting?

This is the hairstyle you're talking about... hair for bridesmaids typically cost 30-40 bucks depending on where you are getting your hair done

But yes, calm down and breathe... you and the other bridesmaids will be going over this with the bride. If she isn't going over this with you guys and having you choose there are tons of places to get bridesmaids dresses. Most bridal shops have bridesmaids dresses you can look up the bridal shops in your area to get an example or look on David's bridal's website. Azazie.com is my personal favorite. Don't worry... there's time to figure this all out

Hello everyone and thank you so far for the great information and advice it means a lot .So i just got off the phone with my friend she told me the bridesmaid dresses cost i have nothing to worry about her mom is picking up the tab for all of us .The meeting with the MOH has changed so were getting together the 5 of us on Saturday so i will let you know how things work out .so again thank you

Just know that the bride should not take advantage of you. Sometimes brides go ape-shit, so if she seems overly demanding, either say something to her or ask us if something is normal.

Hi Michelle, and welcome to WW!

Wow, that's awesome that the MOB is going to cover the BM dresses! As far as hair, makeup, and nails, you all have plenty of time to figure that out. If the bride is making a certain look required, though, then typically she should be the one paying for it. If you have a salon (hair or nails) you usually go to, you can ask them what they charge and go from there.

Have fun with your friend's wedding!

Welcome to WW, Michelle! People here are always willing to help. And it is great that the MOB is paying for the dresses!

So just a quick question so my mom offered me to go with her as her guest to a co-workers of hers Bridal shower .She wants me to get an idea what its like and maybe get some ideas for my friends shower and present the ideas to the MOH and the other girls that are going to be with me .So the Shower is a week from this Saturday /does it seem weird to go to a shower of not knowing the bride at all.She happens to me a good friend of my moms and from what my mom told me it is a very over the top bridal shower.I have been reading how boring showers are but i was just curious if i should attend and it would be my first one attending .So i appreciated any ideas

Hi Michelle, welcome. I can tell you are excited about being a bridesmaid for your friend, and want to contribute ideas to everything. That is great, and she is lucky to have a friend like you! However, to answer your second question, I think it would be awkward and maybe even inappropriate to attend the shower of a bride you don't know. I don't think your mom should have offered to bring you as a guest unless the host of the shower invited you. Instead, I would try to get some ideas by browsing Pinterest. Keep in mind that a lot of things on Pinterest are styled photoshoots, but you can still find inspiration there. If you want to see photos of real showers, use the search function on the forums here. I know some brides have posted pictures and recaps of their showers on wedding wire.

You can go if you want - personally I wouldn't but I am awkward enough with people I know... strangers... yikes.

Bridal showers are no biggie. Likely one of the girls has been to 247 of them and will have 9 million ideas and you can just nod and say sweet cool great. Would you like me to pick up cupcakes? Done Bam you are a bridal shower hero.

Almost every question I have ever wanted to know about all things truly wedding related have been answered by either Pinterest or Google. Seems like you are going to be a really helpful, in-tune bridesmaid.

In regards the bridal shower, I would only go if your mom was allotted a guest. It's rude to invite people to events they weren't personally invited to.

It's sounds like your mom is getting a little over zealous! I would not go to the coworker's shower. Unless your mother is throwing the shower herself or you were close to the bride, it would be rude to tag along. Even in those two situations, it would be awkward.

Again, you are not in charge of a shower that may or may not happen. There are going to be 6 of you, right? Odds are most of them have been to a shower. And you've been to fun parties, right? Plenty of ideas to go around! I think you'll do just fine working with them to decide what the bride would like. You don't need to go to a shower to know what makes a good party