i absolutely hate planning and wish i could cancel the wedding

At first I thought it was about the money…constant stress and wishing we could just cancel it and do something small . Then my fiancé’s parents, seeing the stress, revealed that they were going to give us more money than they initially let on—they just knew that almost all weddings go over budget and didn’t want us to start with too high of a number and then go over THAT.


But now that the money issues are resolved…a couple months later I still don’t feel better. I took a long break from planning and the second I dove into it again I STILL hated everything about it. Even fun stuff like looking at wedding dresses just annoys me instead lmao It turns out that the money was just a scapegoat for how much I don’t want to plan a wedding. I kept pushing forward with it because my partner wants one and has a huge family and friend group who are all local. But I don’t care about the traditions. I don’t care about feeling like a princess or walking down the aisle. I barely have any family and everyone on my side has to travel so I’m only going to have like 15 people there for me. I hate being the center of attention. I don’t want a wedding, I want a dinner party where I get to wear a pretty white dress.
I’m too much of a perfectionist to spend SO much money only to just throw in the towel and let the wedding look however it looks. Cause at this point if we have this wedding we’re still spending a crap ton of money even if I completely stop putting effort in. I wish more than anything in the freaking world that we could hire a partial planner so I could stop having to plan without all my hard work going to waste but we can’t.