Hyphenating or Two Last Names?

I have two last names. I added DH's last name as a second last name. Honestly, hyphenating might have been easier. Most everyone puts a hyphen in there anyway so it makes no difference for me.

I thought about the whole hyphen but our last names are both really long. His is longer than mine actually, so I am just taking his. Even tho I really hate giving up my Dad's name but I like the tradition of it. I suggested to FH we could totally just come up with a new last name all together... He wasn't going for it lol.

I don't want to hyphenate and I have been thinking about doing the two last names ever since I read about it on here. I'd like to know, what is the difference between having two middle names vs. two last names? Here in NJ you can't have a space in your last name on your drivers license. So I am wondering if it might be easier to have two middle names instead.

My last name was hyphenated growing up - think Katelin Henderson-Lundring. It was a PAIN for all the reasons others have listed here and more! I couldn't wait to get rid of it. I was never given a middle name so that was it, but it was still a mouthful.

One difference was that everyone used Henderson and always dropped the Lundring. My poor dad. I grew up in Minnesota and continued to have this problem even when I lived in Illinois, Pennsylvania, and Texas!

Well, when I went to the DMV they told me I HAD TO HAVE a middle name. It was against the law? WTF. So my hyphenated last name is now my middle name. It also had to be the whole thing - no initials, etc.

SS did not care and I have my first name and new last name on it.

It is important to me to keep my name the same as my son and he has expressed concern at 6 years old of having a different name than me. But I also want to take FH's name. I constantly go back and forth between hyphenating and just having 2 last names. But Like VM, I remain torn after each and every one of these threads lol.

Personally, I'm not changing my name. But that doesn't stop me from getting the benefit that many of us want - the ease of social situations (ex: addressing things to "The Smiths" versus Mr. Smith and Ms. Jones"). I have no problem calling myself Mrs. Fiancé, but legally and professionally I'll still be Ms. SB821.

MzRosaLu: Honestly, if you want your kids at school to call you by your Maiden, consider keeping it; whatever name is on your employment record is who you'll be at school. I know a lot of women who I always thought were Mrs. Hisname, but legally and for all things requiring paperwork, they are Mrs. Hername.

Honestly, no one knows what I did with my name really. My extended family and his family, so anything we have rec'd just has his last name. I think in generally people just assume I took his name, which is fine. That was the whole point of having both names but not hyphenating, for me anyways.

I am hyphenating my name. Several of my female family members on my father's side also hyphenated after marriage. Luckily they haven't had any issues. It was something that was important to me.

Edited because my comment posted before I finished typing.