Hyphenated Last Names...any Regret?

I have a 3 part last name (no hyphens) and it’s nbd. It was the same as if I just changed it to my husband’s name. Every now and then when I need a new bank card a teller will giggle but it wasn’t any harder than any other change.

I'm a college professor, and I frequently have students with hyphenated last names. Honestly? I think it's kind of a pain for them, and I've found that many end up only going by one of their names. When I married, I changed my middle name to my maiden name and took my husband's last name. My legal signature is formatted "Mary Smith Jones," so I feel like I've retained my maiden name, but as a family, we're the "Jones" and over 32+ years, I think that's been an advantage.

I have a pretty unique situation. Until I was in 9th grade, I went by one last name. I thought that was my legal name, turns out it wasn't. Fast forward to college and I had to start going by my legal, hyphenated name, which is completely different from my original last name. I hate it. I CAN'T WAIT to be married and have just one last name!

So far I haven’t had any issues. I’ve been updating my information for the last month. The only thing is my driver’s license cut my middle name by three letters but when it’s scanned in the system my entire name shows up. SS Card and passport have full name.

People adjusted to my new last name but there are a few that only call me by my husband’s last name. Sometimes I answer and sometimes I pretend I don’t know they’re talking to me lol

View Quoted Comment Oh, that's interesting! Is it a combination of both of your names, or was his last name a 3 part name?

View Quoted Comment Do you feel it was an advantage to keep your maiden name in your legal signature, or an advantage to being simply the "Jones"? (Or maybe both were advantages? Lol)

View Quoted Comment Do you experience all of the administrative errors that I hear people talk about? Or has it been a hassle to get people to use both? My potentially hyphenated name wouldn't be too long (11 letters total) but I worry people can't process two names when they hear them.

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In his culture it's customary for women to go by "Maiden de Married" so my last name is actually Bauza de Garcia. It's long, but I love it. I do find it irritating when other people are too lazy to use it (I've had managers, teachers, and co-workers go, 'Ughhh that's such a mouthful can't I just call you Garcia').

View Quoted Comment Not too many, because both of my names are super simple, but it definitely can get confusing and people definitely do get it messed up.

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I loved my very common maiden name (literally Smith...), but also wanted to take on my husband's last name (not anywhere close to Jones...). I was also established in my career with my maiden name at the time we were married. I wasn't super attached to my given middle name, so for me, it was an easy transition. I like acknowledging my birth family in my legal name. Professionally, I use my full name, "Mary Smith Jones," but at the same time, I don't use it in social situations. We are the "Jones" family and it's made life so much easier for kids, etc.

View Quoted Comment It's great to hear that you haven't had any issues so far! Ugh, that's frustrating though that people won't acknowledge your full name....I know that would irritate me if that happened to me. Do you mind me asking why you chose to hyphenate?

View Quoted Comment That's a beautiful name!! I would be frustrated too if people didn't want to use it!

View Quoted Comment I feel the same! I love my maiden name and the heritage that it represents, but I also want to take my husband's name (my FH and I do not share the same heritage). Do you feel like using your maiden name helped maintain continuity in your career? Besides having an awesome maiden name, I am also worried about how a name change would impact my career.

View Quoted Comment It doesn’t bother me when people do it. Mainly because I know the individuals grew up in an era that when you got married, you dropped your last name completely. Don’t mind at all. I like my maiden name and didn’t feel I had to drop my name. The marriage certificate has me listed by my maiden name. Also, I established a few things in my maiden name that would be too complicated change. So far, having my name hyphenated still connects me to those various professional and personal things.

A lot of people tried to convince me to drop my name but I wanted it hyphenated.

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I had publications under my maiden name, so yes, I think using "Mary Smith Jones" as my legal name helped establish continuity with my prior "Mary Smith" publications and those that came later under my "Mary Smith Jones" name. Honestly, our personal life was more important to me; I like being the "Jones family" and being mom to the "Jones kids." I know other options work well for others, and I'm glad for them. For us, I like our common identify. At the same time, I ALWAYS LOVE signing things "Mary Smith Jones" and acknowledging my now deceased parents.... (Daughter was torn about doing the same thing, but if she'd changed her middle name to her maiden name, it resulted in a weird rhyming name along the lines of "Suzanne Smith Pith," so she dropped her maiden name and kept her middle name, resulting in something like "Suzanne Jane Pith."

View Quoted Comment What about when you have kids? I’m in a similar situation with surnames because my FH is from Guatemala. We already have a son who has both of our surnames. Using your surnames as an example, Garcia Bauza would be the setup for kids. They use paternal then maternal surname.

Because of that I can’t figure out what to do with my name. I could do it in the same order as our son but that’s unheard of in his culture. If I did it American style like Bauza Garcia it would be backward from my child and using “de” makes it long and still kinda backwards. Because of this I might not change it at all.

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We won't be having children.

My brother in law and sister in law just had a child and he has FirstName CatholicMiddleName FamilyMiddleName MomsMaiden de Garcia....But they little just call him "A" which I get. I'm not sure the norm. My MIL is Serrano de Garcia and she just gave the boys Garcia so I think in Argentina it may just be up to taste. Sorry I'm not a help!

View Quoted Comment Lol sorry.. the rhyming made me giggle a little. She made the right choice, not that you(or her) need validation from me.

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Yeah, it wasn't QUITE as bad as my "example," but close enough that she was like, NOOOOOO....

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Thanks for your reply. It gets a little tricky when blending cultures. My two oldest sons have the two middle names just like that. For our youngest we tried to simplify it with just a single middle name.

I may just use FH’s name socially and on social media added to my name with “de” but legally leave it as is.